Avoiding the Oops: A Practical Guide to Cultural Etiquette in Japan

Insights from an Expat in Tokyo

Photo by wang xi on Unsplash

Imagine this — You’re planning a trip to Japan, and everything is feeling good and it’s looking to be a great trip. But there’s one small thing that’s still worrying you: the notorious Japanese manners. Japan is known for its ancient culture, amazing food, wonderful people, and along with all this, its endless etiquette and social rules. And there are plenty of stories about rude travelers making a scene and offending the local Japanese people.

So, how do you avoid that? I mean, other than being obviously rude, what specific customs do you really need to know? What is going to be offensive or rude? In this blog, I will walk you through the main faux pas and how to avoid them so you can have a stress-free and wonderful time in Japan. So, if you’re ready, let’s get started! First, let’s start with what upsets people here in Japan.

The Major Complaints of Japanese people — Foreigners are:

• Noisy
• Dirty
• Aggressive and/or Dangerous
• Rude

Why is this? Understanding Japanese Customs

It’s helpful to know the core values that drive Japanese culture. One of the most important is respect and maintaining group harmony. Which explains the complaints above — here in Japan, it’s not the individual that’s as important, it’s about maintaining the group’s harmony and survival.

The first complaint Japanese have about foreigners is that we are loud and disruptive. Those of us from other countries do tend to speak at a slightly higher volume than here in Japan, and a big part of this is cultural. In Japan being quiet is about not being a nuisance to those around you. Even on the crowded trains, people are quiet — so much so, I can sometimes hear my stomach growl.

Or for instance, the complaint that non-Japanese are dirty or smelly. This doesn’t just mean bad body odor, which the Japanese are less likely to have, but it also means perfumes and colognes. Japanese people are generally sparing when applying these as it can be offensive to others if it is too strong.

Culturally, us non-Japanese are often also more direct, which can seem aggressive or threatening, especially if we use a lot of gestures. Japanese people generally are not particularly expressive when it comes to emotions and gestures.

Lastly, we either don’t know the rules, or worse, we don’t want to follow them. I’m assuming since you’re reading this that you want to follow the rules, but, with these very different cultures, there’s bound to be a clash. But with a little bit of knowledge, we can avoid some trouble.

Photo by Motoki Tonn on Unsplash

What to Do to Avoid the “Oops!” Some Practical Tips

You’re probably wanting to know how to avoid a lot of these cultural faux pas, so here are some more practical tips for blending in and not standing out in Japan:

General Orderliness:

In general, if you follow what others are doing, you can’t go wrong. Line up when other people are waiting in line, match your volume to theirs, and follow the general flow. There are no overt rules here, but if you open your eyes to what is around you, you can fit in pretty quickly.

1. On the train: keep your volume to a minimum, avoid phone calls, save your food and drinks for later and keep your headphone volume low if possible. Also, keep your perfumes light if you can — this is one of the reasons for the empty “gaijin seat” next to you.
2. In restaurants: if you’re up for some fun, you can start your meal by saying “itadakimasu!” while placing your palms together in front of your chest to show appreciation. Keep your chopsticks flat (stabbing your food or rice and passing food between chopsticks are rituals reserved for funeral practices). Also, do your best not to be wasteful. Portions are small here so that there aren’t leftovers (people don’t take leftovers home). There’s a strong culture of “mottainai,” or “don’t waste anything” here, so please be mindful of this.
3. Trash: be prepared to carry your trash. There are very few garbage cans around, so you’ll need to either bring it back to your hotel or if it is small, you can throw it away at a convenience store. Individual responsibility out of respect for the group is important here and is why the streets are so clean.
4. Shoes: If you visit an old home, onsen, or ryokan, you will need to take off your shoes. If you want to make this more fun, wear shoes that are easy to slip off and some fun socks. Taking off shoes here is a part of respect as well as a deeper culture of “soto” and “uchi,” or inside and outside, and keeping things clean. (This is also generally a good hygienic practice).
5. On the street: be mindful of your luggage and follow the way people are walking (there tend to be rules about which side and plenty of signs on the ground telling you where to walk). Also, if you smoke, there are designated smoking areas, but smoking on the street is prohibited and you can be fined for this. Also, if you’re drinking on the street, please be polite. Yes, it is legal to drink in public here, but remember to follow what others around you are doing.
6. Bathrooms and Onsen, and Public Baths: There is a whole list of rules for this which requires another blog post, but if you visit an onsen, please follow what others around you are doing. Bath well first, wash your hair, don’t wear a swimsuit or bring things with you into the bath. And when using the restroom, if you make a mess in the bathroom, there is some toilet cleaner you can use to tidy up. Personal cleanliness here in Japan is a very big deal.
7. Shrines & Temples: Japan is not a particularly religious country and there are no strict rules about visiting a temple or shrine, but you may have noticed Japanese generally dress more conservatively, so that may be something to consider. Also, temples and shrines are places where people go to pray, so keeping your actions respectful and reverent will make the experience that much better.

Navigating Social Interactions

If you want to blend in or even make local friends, (which I strongly suggest you do!), you will need to know a few simple phrases as well as customs. But with respect and consideration, you should be able to make friends fairly quickly.

Japanese people are stereotyped as quiet and shy, but honestly a lot of this is the language barrier and because they feel nervous about making mistakes in English. Honestly, they don’t expect you to speak perfect Japanese, but they will love your effort. And if you add in a little head nod (lower your head), they will love it even more!

Here are some basic phrases to get by and make friends:

• “konnichiwa” (koh-nee-chee-wah): hello
• “sumimasen” (soo-me-mah-sen): excuse me, sorry
• “kudasai” (koo-dah-sy): please
• “onegaishimasu” (oh-neh-gy-shee-mas) please
• “arigatou gozaimasu” (ah-ree-gah-toh-go-zy-mas) thank you
• “wakaranai desu” (wah-kah-rah-ny des)

If you want to know more about how to learn a language, here are some good tips. When I started out learning Japanese, the locals were always kind and helpful. So, don’t be shy, just give it a try! And if you’re feeling exhausted, here’s a good post on how to overcome burnout.

Putting it All Together

In this blog, I’ve walked you through the complaints Japanese people have about foreigners, some reasons for this, and some practical tips on how to avoid this, along with some practical advice on talking to local people. With these tricks up your sleeve, you can have a great time here in Japan.

If anything, just remember to watch and follow what people around you are doing, you’ll be alright. Manners have a bad rap here in Japan, but they’re not all that difficult if you have some cultural sensitivity and keep an open mind

Going somewhere new is a great chance to exchange culture, make friends, and understanding Japanese customs and manners will help make this a reality. With some sensitivity, and flexibility, embracing Japanese customs will make your Japan adventure the trip of a lifetime.

If you’ve ever been to Japan, leave a comment with your tips and experiences for blending in below. I’d love to hear about your experiences too! If you want to read more articles like this, you can follow me here. Thank you for reading this far and have a great day!