The Girl Who’s Sailing Around The Inner World
Is she making it?
Did you know that movies are the products of your inner world?
That’s right.
Look around. Everything you see is a projection of your inner world. The people, the animals, the plants. Events, the news, and every single movie you ever watched. Your entire reality.
How is this possible? How is it possible that Person B’s action is coming from Person A’s inner world and vice versa?
I don’t know the answer. I think our human brain and our capacity to understand things with our rational mind is limited. But here comes the truth:
It doesn’t matter.
What matters is that you focus on your part. The things you can control. Reflecting on your experience/your actions/your thoughts, and most importantly, investigating your inner world. Why did a certain experience appear in your reality?
This experience can be anything, even something small like a movie.
When you start practicing self-awareness, you recognize aspects of your inner world in the stories you watch. Of course, you don’t have to self-analyze while you relax with a movie or TV show. It’s more like a short acknowledgment when something seems familiar.
But there are other times when a story touches you deeply and a little self-reflection is beneficial. This is what happened to me when I watched the movie “True Spirit”. If you’re not familiar with it, True Spirit is based on the true story of Jessica Watson who sailed around the world solo in 2010 when she was 16 years old.
While I was watching the closing credits, I felt a variety of emotions. I felt the adrenaline rush; I was amazed by this girl’s courage and what she had accomplished at the age of 16.
I also felt inspired. Despite coming from Hungary — a landlocked country in the middle of Europe — , I love the sea and I’d spend all my life at the seashore if I could. So I’m always up for a good ocean story.
But under these positive emotions, there was something else. Something that bothered me. First, I couldn’t put my finger on what it was.
The Girl Who’s Sailing Around The Inner World
I found it bizarre. This story appeared in my reality after having a vision of myself for months — sailing the ocean of my inner world. Alone on my boat. With my Higher Self.
What a “coincidence”.
I strangely related to the girl in the movie. She was sailing around the physical world, I was sailing around the inner world. Just like her, I was training for this for half my life. But instead of physical training, surfing, and sailing lessons, I had to train my deep psyche.
Just like her, I needed to find sponsors. But since it was about my inner world, they had to be inner sponsors — my Shadow, my beliefs, my inner family. And I went through hell to convince them and turn them on my side.
When I left the harbor, I didn’t have anyone who understood why I was doing this. But I knew I was doing what I was made for. It was my choice to be there.
During the months of sailing, I had to face several storms. Survive knockdowns (= when a sailboat is knocked over to its side). Almost getting drowned in my inner world, by my Consciousness.
And the loneliness of the journey… Just like you can’t take people with you on your solo sailing adventure, you can’t take anyone with you to the waters of the inner world. It’s a one-person ride and the isolation sometimes feels unbearable. That’s when I need to remind myself:
I chose to be here. No matter what happens, I’ll never regret it.
So yes. The movie reminded me of my own inner sailing journey — which is still in progress by the way — and the only question that repeats in my head:
Am I going to make it?
My Higher Self/Soulmate answered:
“It’s written that in this life we succeed. We make it back home. We’re reuniting with each other”, he said.
I don’t think I was able to comprehend the weight of these words with my human mind. I could only try.
“I wanted you to watch the movie because I wanted to show you something”, he continued.
“What is it?”
“Even in the darkest moments when the ocean devours you, there’s hope. When a wave buries you and your boat, that is when you need to let go. To give in to the deepest silence and trust that the ocean will take care of everything.”
“You are the ocean…”
“Yes. And I’ll always take care of you. I’ll push you out until you make it. Until you’re ready to reunite with me.”
I accepted his answer. Then the realization hit me.
“I was supposed to make it 16 years ago! When I was 16 like the girl in the movie!”
“The possibility was there to make it happen”, he answered. “I was preparing you for years.”
I recalled my animus dreams from my early teens and all those times he was teaching me about the ego, the shadow, and the illusions of this reality. Even if I couldn’t put into words what was happening, I felt it all. It felt like training. For something big that never happened before.
It felt as if I was slapped in the face.
“I was almost ready at the age of 16! I almost made it then! But… I failed.”
“You didn’t fail. It wasn’t your fault. Your karmic bonds were too strong.”
Suddenly I felt a deep sadness followed by anger. The lack of a support system, that was it. I was constantly sabotaged and shamed for being an introverted intuitive by the people closest to me.
“It’s too painful to think about! I could’ve made it at half this age!”, I said to my Higher Self. “Imagine how much better everything would have been if I found you at 16 and built a life on our love. On who I am. Instead of 16 more years of hiding.”
“I know. But it’s okay. It’s happening now”, he said in his calm tone.
“So if I didn’t leave the harbor this year around my 32. birthday… That would’ve meant another cycle. Doubling it. Damn, I’m glad I was ready this time and it wouldn’t have to happen at the age of 64!”
“Yes, me too. You were finally ready. And we’ve been sailing for roughly 5 months.”
“Is our destination far?”
“No, not far now. You just need to hold on for a little longer.”
