Want To Create High Drama?
Lower Your Numbness Bar.
If you took an honest look at your life, I am pretty sure it would break your heart to admit that you are an active part of a society that is responsible for destroying our own existence on planet earth. Environmental degradation, global warming beyond a critical reversal point, overpopulation, wars (within families or between countries) and the ruthless exploitation of non-renewable resources, these are just a few examples showing how we have failed as a seemingly intelligent species. These are all devastating consequences of our own insensitivity. To play such a game requires a very high Numbness Bar to our own feelings.
In order to somehow live your life even remotely “happy” and not have to change anything, it is necessary that you cut yourself off from your own feelings and thus make yourself numb. You need a high Numbness Bar.*
* Note: If this is your first time reading about the Numbness Bar, I do recommend the website https://numbnessbar.mystrikingly.com/ for more examples and distinctions. Furthermore, I highly encourage you to read the new edition of Clinton Callahan’s book “Conscious Feelings: Living Life Closer to Your Own Truth”. The very first chapter is dedicated to landing the impact of the personal Numbness Bar and how it prevents you from feeling. Please, Go! and read the book (again).
I speak to you herein as a Human Being, Spaceholder, Possibility Manager, Possiblitator, Coach and Trainer, someone who has done conscious feelings work intensely. You have probably heard many times about the Numbness Bar, and you have researched how you keep it in place so your life stays predictable and comfortable, because you do not have to notice and listen to your Feelings. You might have a list or even shared with others how you numb yourself: by eating, shopping, watching TV, daydreaming, working, sleeping, working-out, messaging, gossiping, complaining, living in phantasy, denying, hoping, meditating, reading, arguing.
After all this research, you probably think to yourself “Of course I must have a low Numbness Bar!”. You have insight about your numbing strategies and entered the territory of Conscious Feelings. With Possibility Management you have accessed a Game World, where you learned how to distinguish between Feelings and Emotions, and how to use them. Out of years of research, I can say it can be a huge trap — a Fantasy World — to believe that these distinctions would prevent you from getting numb again.
Did you ever consider that you can (mis)use ANYTHING to numb yourself? Literally anything? Did you ever consider that you might have put another layer of Survival Strategies on top of your well analyzed and known Survival Strategies in order to look good or to not feel your Emotional Fears? How can you be sure that you did not enlarge your Buffer Zone between your Being and the world out there with its endless Possibilities with yet another layer of Survival Strategies, with the end result being an unconsciously high Numbness Bar?
In Retrospect
Please look back at all the symptoms which alerted you in the first place, that you had to change something in your life and forced you also somehow into feeling, because the price of ignoring it any longer was too high. This might have been a burnout, ongoing anxiety, tension in the physical body, or an upset stomach. You might have suffered from anorexia, obesity, hopelessness or self-harm. Maybe your wife or husband left suddenly, because there was no way for them to connect with you. You may also have lost your job by complete surprise. That could have been a slap in the face.
Here’s the thing: you could not feel all this until it reached its peak because you were not able to connect with your feelings, with yourself. You missed taking care of precious information, buried under denial, positive thinking and dishonesty towards yourself. Having a high Numbness Bar means that you are not in Connection with your Feelings. It even goes so far that you perceive the sensations of your physical body only muffled, that you suppress thoughts, or since your energy body is completely out of step, you create one accident after the next.
Reality Check
I invite you to do a reality check right now. Please Center yourself and come into the small Here and Now, into presence. The very fact that you left the present moment to “be” somewhere else, is already a hint that you walk around with a raised Numbness Bar. Scan through your different Bodies to detect where you have been, or still are. Detect any kind of Emotions, Reactivity and Imbalance, Voices, or Self Violence like biting your fingernails, holding your breath, calling yourself names, forcing yourself through the next task without listening to your needs.
You might have developed an image of yourself, how a “good” Possibility Manager acts. Maybe (new) habits have crept in with you, in which you overwork yourself, copy others because you secretly compare yourself and also want to get ahead that way, make yourself small and adapt and do everything to save a well built facade. In order to keep the facade perfect, you have to numb yourself again, otherwise you would pretty soon detect that you entered a new Survival Strategy. There are different Survival Strategies played in the well known (the Karpman’s) Drama Triangle, in Possibility Management also known as Low Drama.
Low Drama
The benefit of staying numb is that you can keep this Low Drama running. It seems “easier” to stay in what you already know, being numb, instead of feeling where you are living in integrity or not. More people than you could probably think of are addicted to Low Drama. Do you find yourself back and forth in one of the positions of being the Victim, the Rescuer or the Persecutor? No matter where you start out on this Drama Triangle, Victim is where you end up. No matter what role you are playing, you are in victimhood.
Victimhood is a set of patterns, which feel familiar and “safe”. At the same time, this Low Drama game costs you a lot of your precious life time and energy.
Just imagine, you lower your Numbness Bar, and finally hit the point where you are faced with your authentic fears, where you have to take Responsibility and challenge yourself with your next transformational step.
Lower Your Numbness Bar
Your Survival Strategies will repeat themselves in layers, until you consciously lower your Numbness Bar and connect with your Impulses and Feelings in order to create something new — High Drama. When you do have an immensely high Numbness Bar, your Gremlin (the king or queen of your shadow world) has already won. Your Gremlin loves to keep you numb and at the same time he gets bored when you are numb and will create its own little or big Low Dramas. There is a yummy Gremlin ecstasy behind each food.
Gremlin Transformation over a longer Period is a necessary process to find out what are the unconscious Foods of your Gremlin. You need to experience the Gremlin ecstasy, to feel the impact of the unconscious Low Drama in your life. Get to know your Gremlin better, so he does not rule your life! Get to know your Gremlin, so that you can own your Underworld instead of that the Underworld owns you.
To lower your Numbness Bar, there are several Experiments on the website mentioned above, and when you scroll down, you will find a couple more. Do the Experiments! For a successful Transformation, you need to notice what you are feeling. You are feeling all the time. Either Emotions or Feelings. Emotions are a doorway to Healing. Your Feelings are your guide to adult choices and to creating High Drama.
Creating High Drama
Your journey from a childhood Survival Strategy into authentic adulthood is a process — please do not try to hurry things along. You will fall back into the patterns, which helped you to deal with your childhood. Then they were a noble thing. When you notice that you have gotten numb again and fallen into old behaviors, like remaining shyly silent instead of speaking out about what just happened, do not beat yourself up! It is daily practice, which creates new Experimental Reality for you.
High Drama is not an unattainable giant thing. High Drama starts with the little actions in daily life. Every little moment you can decide to make a new choice, consciously.
Having a low Numbness Bar might be in the beginning very “painful”. You start noticing all these little things in life, which are odd. You start feeling something about it. And if you are not used to such fine feelings, it is painful. Especially when you have been on the path into adulthood for a while, it can be heartbreaking to see, through your low level feelings, how in many daily situations, you have chosen not to take Responsibility. With a low Numbness Bar, would you continue shuffling food onto your plate or would you consciously choose an amount of food that would allow you to stay present (for the next Training session)? With a low Numbness Bar would you choose to dedicate your life to your Gremlin actions, or choose something else?
So many little choices every few seconds. It is up to you. What do you choose? As someone who has access to their feelings, you get your authority back. You can create clarity and possibility, be in intimacy and connection. You are in flow, present and in exchange.With a low Numbness Bar, you can have inner peace, regardless of what is going on in the world.
Love,
Lisa
P. S. For more information about how to consciously feel, please contact info@lisaommert.com.
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Experiments
Experiment 1: Lower Your Numbness Bar Consciously
Ask someone to hold space for you, be your witness and encourage you to keep going. This Experiment can take place for example in an EHP Dojo or in your Possibility Team. The purpose of this Experiment is to lower your Numbness Bar consciously by expressing your Feelings, while lowering the Bar.
Close your eyes and lift one or both of your hands up to the level, where you feel your Numbness Bar. Say the number on a scale from 0–100 % how numb you are right now: “My Numbness Bar is on a level of 47 %.” Just notice, this is your X on the map for now.
Take a deep breath and start lowering your Numbness Bar by slowly lowering your hands, like they would rest on the Bar and their pure weight is lowering it already. Through this, you will begin to feel. Do not rush the process. Go slowly step by step. With the feelings comes sounds, body movements, perhaps words. Just let your body do what it wants. Your spaceholder keeps time and will check in with you after about 15–20 minutes.
When you have done this experiment, enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.15 in your free account of the StartOver.xyz game. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
Experiment 2: Every Moment Is A Decision For Either High Or Low Drama — Center Yourself — Press The Rewind Button
Do this Experiment for one whole week. Everything you do in your life has a purpose. This purpose is either based in High Drama or Low Drama. Become aware of all the moves you do or you do not do. Start to distinguish the purpose: “What is the purpose of me (not) doing, or (not) saying that?” When do your actions serve your Gremlin and numb you from feeling?
For Example, you are writing an Article and a Message pings on your mobile phone laying somewhere on your desk. Catch yourself that you are unconsciously reaching out to the phone and that your attention is drawn out of the writing. You catched yourself in a move of your own underworld into distraction. Say “Pause” and make a sound, as if you were rewinding an old cassette tape. Pull back your hand, while making that sound. Center yourself again and consciously choose High Drama. (That could be to clear your writing space from any distraction and go back to writing.)
When you have done this experiment for two weeks, enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.16 in your free account of the StartOver.xyz game.This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Points.
Experiment 3: Live For Three Days With Two Other Possibilitators
Rent an apartment or little house and live together for three days with two other members of your Possibility Team or the two other Members of your 3Cell. Commit to giving each other Feedback about where you are numbing yourself. This might be the little things like, looking away while in a conversation. Or starting to daydream, while you’re on a walk together. Or excusing yourself to finish some work, instead of accepting an offer for intimacy.
Do not stop giving Feedback to each other and hold space for everything that comes up. Document your numbing strategies and feel the pain about the price you pay, when you are not in connection with others and yourself.
When you have done this experiment for two weeks, enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.17 in your free account of the StartOver.xyz game. This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Points.
