a woman climbing a set of stairs with a cello on her back

Got my first period Entered an adolescent depression Starting sucking my thumb again Started to doubt Jesus too Ate milk and cookies/developed an overeating disorder Burned my drawings of the easter bunny Started putting a lock on my journal Developed relationship and trust issues Skipped out on school Vowed to…

Pizza I’m hungry for cheese Don’t give me more sauce than cheese I won’t eat the slice Tacos Tacos should be large Three small ones? Waste of money Die teensy tacos Oatmeal Make believe breakfast You’re Laxatives in oat form Oats don’t taste that good Casual sex with a stranger …

The face that I want to leave My anal fissure My trip to the psych ward in 2016 Whale sounds The fact that I don’t think Ted Bundy is hot (big mistake amongst whites) How I steal money from my dad The color of the wallpaper and how that’s interesting …

39 year old blind mystery novelist in new York film academy student film branch of a willow tree in movement piece dutch sex slave in poorly written musical lady macbeth (EDM version) in a grad Shakespeare showcase one legged chicken in children’s library show spanish Elizabethan duke who is plot…

Because why smell like a garden when you can smell like a garden SALAD? Pantene Pro-V? More like Pantene Killing-Me! Let’s face it people. Regular shampoo companies are on a mission to destroy our heads. When I lather up my dirty noggin with Pantene, or any store bought shampoo for…

Music Manic PDG: I stayed up all night last night and wrote thirty songs about wood nymphs for the ukelele. My one woman show is ready! Medicated PDG: The doctor says I have bipolar disorder. Shopping Manic PDG: I recently went to a Whole Foods at the crack of dawn…

Upon insertion, I was jazzed about getting an IUD! “You’ll love it,” said my gynecologist. “You’ll have lighter periods, manageable PMS, and the freedom to bang with reckless abandon.” I was ecstatic! “You know,” she went on to say, “some women, including myself, think of the IUD as less of…

Modern Alice doesn’t have the energy to fall down an actual hole, or the moxie required to trudge through a potentially exhausting land of wonder. Both are way too much work. What millennial Alice is game for is a nocturnal adventure that requires no movement or courage…a dive down the…