If You Have Abandoned Christianity, Don’t Blame the Church
Jesus said ‘My sheep hear My voice…and they follow me’
“Exvangelicalism” is all the rage these days
Tales told by disenchanted former Christians about their exodus from the faith seem to be a popular staple on Medium and other social media channels.
I’ve been active on Medium for several months now. When the omniscient algorithms divined my Christian roots, my feed was populated by, among other things, sordid tales of a once happy faith gone bad. Battered sheep told of abusive relationships with parents or church leaders that caused them to turn away from the church and, sometimes, to abandon faith altogether.
I’m not minimizing the sad truth that many people who call themselves Christians do bad things, sometimes very bad things.
It’s true that many people live as if following Jesus means following a set of rules. The harsh requirements of this rule-following can then be projected outward, and judgmentalism sets in. They become modern-day Pharisees, as the logs in their own eyes block their view of the splinters in other people’s eyes.
It’s ugly, unloving, and definitely unChristlike to act this way.
And, yes, evil people can infiltrate and have infiltrated the church, abusing children, the weak, and the gullible. It’s horrible. Their condemnation is just.
Some folks become exvangelicals because the teachings of the church do not align with their own preferences or convictions around sexuality, justice, equality, or other 21st century, culturally-inspired norms. For others, they simply began to question everything about the biblically-informed, long-held traditions they were taught in Sunday school.
For many exvangelicals, the final straw has been political in nature. The support some conservative church attenders have shown for Trump has become a catalyst, causing them to withdraw from organized Christianity or from faith entirely.
Making It Personal
If these uncomfortable, unfortunate, or horrible situations have caused you to reject Christianity altogether, then you never knew Jesus in the first place.
That’s a harsh assertion, I know. But I’ll say it again, in another way…
If you really knew Jesus, you would never, never leave Him. No matter what.
It’s one thing to recognize the ugly, negative, unbiblical attitudes and actions of the minority of abusers in churches while striving to more closely follow the teachings of Christ yourself. It’s another to reject the faith outright or to create and follow your own version of “Jesus” that is like Him in name only.
How can I make the claim that those who leave the Christian faith never knew Jesus in the first place?
Because Jesus said so.
In talking about Himself as the Good Shepherd of the sheep Jesus said:
The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. (John 10:3-4, ESV)
I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. (John 10:14–16, ESV)
Jesus makes it clear that before the sheep knew Him, He knew them and He called them. The sheep follow their shepherd because they recognize His voice. Not only do they recognize His voice, but they listen to His voice.
The initiative was with Jesus. Not with the sheep. They follow Him because they belong to Him.
Their hearts are knit to His.
But beyond this, Jesus makes a wonderful promise to those whom He calls and knows:
My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. (John 10:27–29, ESV)
Not only does Jesus call those whom the Father gives to Him. Both Jesus and the Father will keep those who are called…to the end and for eternity. A bond is formed that cannot be broken.
Nowhere in Jesus’ words is there any indication that the sheep whom He calls and knows will, potentially, decide not to follow Him.
Instead their eyes, their ears, and their hearts are locked firmly on their Savior. They have been His since before time began, and they will never leave their Shepherd, no matter what.
If the behavior of other sheep (or goats) in the church causes you to abandon your faith, then you never knew the Shepherd.
If you disagree with the teachings of the church that are clearly based in God’s word and you choose to no longer abide by them, this means your heart was never truly aligned with “Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.” (Hebrews 12:2, ESV)
Even if you are hurt or abused by people in your family or in the church, you, as a true sheep, wouldn’t stop following your Shepherd who loves you better than any human ever could.
The example of the Apostles
After a particularly challenging teaching session recorded in the book of John, many in the crowd who were listening to Jesus bristled at His words. Jesus said “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.” (John 6:65, ESV) A number turned back and no longer followed Him. So Jesus said to the twelve disciples:
“Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” (John 6: 67–69, ESV)
Those who are truly sheep adjust their expectations and their theology to match their Shepherd. They know His words are true.
Incidentally Simon Peter, who made the bold proclamation above, would soon deny three times that he knew Jesus, just like Jesus predicted he would. Jesus even told Peter in advance that Satan would sift him like wheat, and He assured Peter He had prayed for him.
After His resurrection, Jesus made a special effort to restore Peter.
Three times Jesus asked him “Simon, do you love me?” Three times Peter assured Jesus that he did, indeed, love Him. Each time Jesus would give Peter a direct commission to “Feed my lambs.” Peter’s Shepherd personalized Peter’s restoration in a way that was intimately crafted for him. (reference John 21:15–19)
Obviously, Jesus was not going to let anyone, including Satan and Peter’s own human weakness, snatch him out of Jesus’ hands.
The Apostle Paul was a Pharisee who hated Christians and was determined to punish them for abandoning the Jewish faith. On his way to Damascus to intimidate the Christians there into submission, Paul had a powerful encounter with the risen Christ who called him into His service.
From that point on, Paul’s devotion to Christ was steadfast. In spite of beatings, stonings, lashings, conspiracies, imprisonment, shipwrecks, and dangers at every turn Paul never left His Lord. He eventually was martyred for his faith.
If anyone had reason to abandon his trust in Jesus, it was Paul.
In his letter to the Christians in Rome, Paul wrote the following encouragement:
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35–39, ESV)
Those who are called and loved by Christ can never be separated from Him.
No middle ground
If you claim to have been a follower of Jesus, but now you have decided to turn away, it is clear that you never truly belonged to Him in the first place.
Jesus said “Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.” (Matthew 12:30, ESV) There is no middle ground.
Some people who claim to be Christians are actually against Christ. And some of Jesus’ sheep need disciplined. But they cannot become your excuse for turning away. You need to look intently at Jesus himself. He is the Good Shepherd.
If any of the discussion above pulls at your heart, it could be your Lord calling you back to Him. Repent for turning away from Him, forgive those who have wronged you, and put your life in the care of your Shepherd. He will never let you go.