Be more empathetic
This is part 4 of a 14 part series describing my professional philosophy. Part 3 can be found here.
Have you ever gotten into an argument with a colleague and the whole time you felt like there was just something off about it? You may have had a thought such as: “does this person understand what they are saying?” Or, “they are really getting too worked up over this!” Or, something to that effect.
Well, then you may have encountered a situation that lacked some emotional intelligence (EQ). And you’re bound to encounter more of it.
So what is one to do? You can’t go around telling people they need to enhance their EQ!
But, you can improve YOUR EQ.
That’s the 3rd point of my 12-point professional philosophy — practice empathy.
As you go through your day, both personal as well as professional, you need to remember that everyone you encounter is a human being and they are probably going through something profound that they are unable to effectively handle due to a lack of EQ.
I was like that.
For the first half of my life, I was totally ignorant to my emotions, how to process my emotions, or how to recognize the emotions of other people. It was like living in a different world and one that I couldn’t properly navigate.
And then I got sober.
There’s an understanding about emotions and people that drink alcoholically — when they started drinking hard core, they stopped maturing at an emotional level. It’s only through sobriety that one can begin to mature and grow emotionally.
For me, I was an emotional 19-year-old in a 28-year-old’s body. Heck, not just the body, but in the career, marriage, house-buying, and family-raising of that 28-year-old’s situation. It was a lot and I didn’t feel like a mature individual on the inside.
Then came business school!!
Fast forward almost a decade later and I learned the wonderful world of EQ and improving EQ for a professional setting. But, it worked wonders in my personal world as well. Through sobriety and expanding my educational background, I became a better person. I was more capable to engage and work with individuals that I would have said or done bad things to before this knowledge.
Could it just be maturity?
I doubt it. I know plenty of people that are ‘mature’ and non-alcoholic and know jack-all regarding their own emotions let alone other peoples’ emotions!
I’m not promoting an EQ course, book, or podcast — and I am highly confident that if you are reading this in the Medium app, then you are FULLY AWARE of EQ and probably better than I!
But, it still takes a lot to remember and continuously practice the fundamentals of EQ so you don’t let biases creep in or jump to conclusions about another individual’s situation until you empathize and try to understand their position or perspective.
Take a breath, remember that we are all human and we are all going through something. If you can do that, you will be considered a self-controlled guru and people will continuously ask you — “how do you do it?”