Being the persecutor — Who am I?
A persecutor becomes one, because s/he strongly identifies with being the victim. When I listened to S.N. Goenka on the persecutor, he says in one of his talks that the persecutor needs a bit more of our love and peace than the ‘victim’ in that scenario.
How do I realize that I am being the persecutor in a given scenario?
a. In my past I was a victim in a similar scenario: We learn from others and continue those patterns, until we stop and examine ourselves. So it is more than likely that I am going to end up ‘giving’ what I ‘received’, because I know no better.
b. Everyone around me is usually walking on egg-shells: The general charateristic of a ‘persecutor’ is the creation of fear. They fear so they create it.
c. People close to me have pointed out that I get angry easily: Being a persecutor is the result of anger against self and others, who one holds responsible for the state of ‘helplessness’.
In summary, it is the victim who almost always ends up becoming the perpetrator/persecutor. Now S.N. Goenka’s words make sense, because the persecutor is carrying the ‘vritti’ of hurt long enough, that they transfer it on to someone else, unable to bear it.
Since being a victim and the persecutor are so intrinsically connected, it’s really important to understand how to move on from feeling like a ‘victim’.
In the previous article, Competing to be the Victim, I have not addressed how to move on from being the victim, because it is intrinsically linked to being the perpetrator. Before I get into what works, I need to HIGHLIGHT that it is a continuous process of unlearning old habits. We have gotten used to being victims in a lot of scenarios, and therefore, of becoming perpetrators, so we need to watch ourselves and unlearn.
But aren’t some people “really” victims? People who undergo all kinds of abuse, people who are discriminated against etc.
Not as per yoga sutras or Vipassana; there are no victims, no persecutors, no rescuers. There are situations, events, occurrences that one has to experience without giving in to the mind-stuff — the ‘vrittis’. We need to step away from YOU vs I and They vs I. It is IGNORANCE that keeps the cycle going. In Sadhana Pada, verses 23, 24 and 25, explain this better.
23: Svasvamishaktyoh svaroopopalabdhihetuh sanyogah — Separation is the cause of observation of nature and the divine (soul).
24: Tasya heturavidya — Ignorance is the cause of the separation.
25: Tadabhavat sanyogabhavo hanan taddrisheh kaivalyam: Knowledge dissolves this ignorance and then there is no more separation.
Ramana Maharshi, summing up these three says, “There is NO other.” So there is no need for a victim or a persecutor or a rescuer. We do this to feed our egos and to “understand” what occurs to us. There is NO NEED to understand as well. It is the accptance, “IT IS, whatever is, IS” that dissolves the I (ego), and the feeling that something happened to me, and someone did something to me.
What is the way to get here?
I use a few combinations to get here:
a. Forgiveness: I keep forgiving myself for not knowing any better, than to let things happen to me. I keep forgiving the other person for doing/saying whatever it is they did or said to me. I use these words, “I send X love and light and forgive them, knowing fully well that they cannot infringe upon my perfection. I forgive myself for holding them responsible for my feelings.”
But the mind keeps saying — “They did this TO me. That was my ‘father/mother/brother/sister etc.” It does not matter who they are, because it is NOT up to me to correct them. I don’t even know that they are wrong. They did ‘their’ best — and what I experienced is THEIR best. I am nobody to judge them, but what I can do is stop judging them.
(Wallowing in self-pity is part of the process, so be with it, if that’s the dominant feeling. There is no point in forcing anything that is not naturally happening. It is the knowledge that, that is the process, which is important, so that we don’t just stay there, again, only if this is a natural place. It is important to NOT judge oneself as well.)
b. Prayer: I naturally love god, so this is easy for me. And for people who love god, any form of god, talk to that energy, write to that energy and ask for guidance. (To me god = a being at a higher energetic plane who is able to “observe” and not be part of the vrittis. These energies are in a constant place of peace and love. The religion is not important, to me.)
For those who have been scarred with some images of god presented to them, talk/write/pray to the universal energies of love and peace to guide you.
c. Meditation: It means observing the self, whenever I am feeling a heightened emotion. It could be extreme joy or passion or anger or sorrow. WHO AM I in this situation? What are my thoughts?
Sitting calmly for 10–15 minutes helps, if there isn’t a constant thought-flow, if not I resort to prayer or singing or dancing or yoga and then come back to sitting. Sometimes it is longer for an hour or so, it depends on the day. It helps to go with the flow of what is needed.
The point is to move AWAY from ‘the OTHER’ and focus on the SELF, to dissolve the self!
So where does the rescuer fit in? That’s the next role my ego loves to play. :-)
