“Never make excuses for why you did or didn’t do something. Take responsibility for your actions and move forward.” ~ Jayden Hayes
When I decided to create this series of 30 Life Lessons, I hadn’t really considered the time and effort it would take to post an article every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The holiday season is always the busiest time of the year for me as I usually give handmade gifts to family members, so I wasn’t sure how I was going to find the time to research, plan, write, and edit the articles as well as locate and prep the accompanying photos.
Since I’d only come up with the idea a few days before Thanksgiving, I didn’t have a chance to stockpile any of the articles, which meant I was starting the research for the next day’s article as soon as I posted the current one. With family obligations infringing on my free time, I was beginning to feel stressed and overwhelmed, and I was seriously considering the postponement of today’s article. Then, I reacquainted myself with the topic.
I had to face the reality that I had made a commitment to post a specified number of articles within a given period of time, and it was my duty to fulfill that commitment. But, more importantly, I needed to be accountable for the commitment I had made to myself to complete this project.
There are basically two types of responsibility: having and taking. Having responsibility means it’s your obligation to act on a commitment. Taking responsibility means you are accountable for your actions and choices. I chose to make the commitment to write and post 30 articles in 30 days, consequently I have a responsibility to both myself and my readers (and I now know I have a few of those).
One aspect of our lives we have responsibility for is our role in our relationships. It’s easy to be committed to a marriage when things are going well, but when you hit rough patches, you need to be willing to make compromises and even sacrifices. So, what happens when only one person is willing to make those changes? At that point, you must determine the depth of your commitment and then draw a line in the sand. Therefore, I have the responsibility to either do everything I possibly can to preserve my marriage or make the decision to walk away if I’m unwilling to make the necessary changes. Then I must be accountable for the results of that decision.
We also have responsibility for our goals in life, both personal and professional. How many of us have made New Year’s resolutions on January 1 and have either forgotten them or broken many of them before Valentine’s Day? I review and renew my goals twice a year; my personal goals at the beginning of the year and my professional goals on the anniversary of my business startup, which happens to come almost six months later.
I’m not great at reaching my goals. In fact, I stink at it! However, I keep setting new ones every year with the hope that before I leave this earth, I’ll have managed to fulfill one or two of them. This year I have a strategy. Here’s what I plan to do:
Set realistic goals — I think I’m more likely to give up if the goals I set for myself are too lofty and beyond my ability to achieve.
Share my goals — Maybe if someone else knows what I want to accomplish this year, they can help me be accountable.
Journal my progress — Regularly writing down what I’m doing to accomplish my goals will help me assess how I’m doing.
Celebrate my success — If I can rejoice at reaching a goal, perhaps it will give me the impetus to strive harder to reach the next one.
No matter how conscientious we are in meeting the responsibilities we have taken on, we won’t be successful in life unless we take responsibility for our actions and our choices.
We have a family member who has caused serious problems for us because of his poor choices and irresponsible actions. We would have forgiven him for his mistakes, but he has not only neglected to ask for our forgiveness, he has not even acknowledged those mistakes. All we hear are excuses and blame. According to him, nothing is ever his fault.
There are many reasons why people find personal responsibility so difficult. Some are insecure and can’t admit to their mistakes, others are so self-centered they don’t believe they’re capable of making mistakes, and some just play the victim.
Here are a few ways you can choose to take responsibility for your choices and actions:
- Don’t blame circumstances or other people.
- Acknowledge what happened.
- Admit you messed up.
- Don’t make excuses.
- Know your strengths and weaknesses.
- Accept the consequences.
- Learn from your mistakes.
If we strive to accept personal responsibility for what we choose and what we do, we will open our lives to happiness, contentment, and fulfillment. How have you taken an active role in this process?
NOTE: This is the year I celebrate (?) seven decades residing on this planet. My journey so far has taught me many life lessons, so I decided to share some of them with you. I’ll be posting one each day from Thanksgiving to Christmas.
Yesterday: Trust Your Gut
Tomorrow: Expand Your Worldview
