Am I living my worst nightmare?

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I got the call Friday night. A colleague of mine tested positive for coronavirus and I needed to isolate myself for two weeks. No going to the store (I miss you, Target), no going to the gas station — I couldn’t even stay in my apartment as I’m not allowed to share any common space with anyone I might infect if I have it myself (I miss you, roommates). Stellar.

My first thought, as I was speaking to two of New York State’s agency commissioners on the phone, was of my grandma’s house. She is in an assisted living facility…


The best thing I did for myself in 2020 was admit I needed help.

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The first time I talked to a doctor about anxiety, I was in college. When I brought up the issue of my consistently sweaty hands, I actually didn’t realize I was bringing up a symptom of my anxiety. My doctor pointed it out.

“It’s an evolutionary fight or flight response,” she told me. “In prehistoric times, humans would need to climb away from predators. Sweaty hands improved their grip on rocks and their surroundings by increasing friction. …


Word of the day: gourmand (n). One who is excessively fond of eating and drinking.

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Cool mountain air rustled the white curtains, swirling into the bedroom with flakes of frost that floated down and melted on pale duvet. The bed was empty, but the house was not; tiny toes padded down quiet hallways.

While the air outside stirred the air inside stilled, created a sense of stuffiness throughout. A child ducked into a closet, careful to go unheard, and slid his body down between stacked boxes and hanging coats.

His breath was ragged, though he wasn’t quite sure from what…


Word of the day: fraternize (v). To associate or mingle as brothers or on fraternal terms.

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My head felt like a cloud floating above my body. I touched my hand to my forehead to make sure it was still there and not drifting toward the ceiling.

I didn’t know who’d made me this drink, but something was weird about it.

The house was packed with kids from my school, kids from others schools, kids I’m pretty sure had finished school. I couldn’t even remember whose house this was. How had I gotten there?

I weaved my way in and out…


A followup to “I’m Pretty Sure the House I’m Quarantined in Is Haunted”

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I MADE IT OUT ALIVE.

Many of you who read my true life horror story, “I’m Pretty Sure the House I’m Quarantined in Is Haunted” asked for a followup. I’m pleased to be able to give you one since I was not abducted into any evil spirit realms nor possessed (that I know of, at least). If you haven’t read it, it’s linked if you click on the title up there. …


Asking the Universe what I should know.

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I have always been intrigued by tarot cards. I don’t consider myself a particularly religious person-spiritual, on the other hand, a strong yes. I’d be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t at least believe in some sort of higher power. Honestly, I think the idea of an all encompassing universal spirit is incredibly comforting, but I digress.

I hesitated, though, on the boarder of the spiritual, convinced I couldn’t be good enough to the cards, the spirits, everything involved. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to commit, I would mistreat the…


Life goes on.

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Dearest,

So, you spent another Saturday night at dinner, listening to a man discuss his five year plan and listing every single possible reason why his life has been one big huge success. …


What I am versus what I always thought I’d be.

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I love the idea of being a HBIC — Head Bitch in Charge. I love the idea of juggling cell phones and delegating to people working for me. I love the idea of being the kind of person who has a career so important I am constantly on call because everyone else is unable to function without me.

Or do I?

Growing up, I was taught that education was the key to opportunity and that opportunity was the key to success. Success looked like pencil skirts and BlackBerry's and conference…


A little boost should you find yourself in need of one.

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Lately, I have been feeling incredibly uninspired. The questions “why are we here?” and “what are we doing?” have been glowing in my head and I can’t stop thinking about the mind boggling smallness of humanity in comparison to the vastness of the universe. Like, really, is anything we do worth it?

I get in these existential slumps on a regular basis and there’s only ever one thing that pulls me out of it: art. …

Mary Boyles

My favorite book is “The Bell Jar” and if that doesn’t say enough about me then I’m not sure what will.

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