Finishing off Self-Doubt: How to Carpe the Diem & Be More Confident
I’ve tried many methods to overcome self-doubt, and here are my recommendations.
In my “Overcoming Self-Doubt Story” I told you how I became more confident with the help of journaling and healthy self-talk.
Is that all?
Is this a magic mixture against your insecurities?
Of course not. I’ve come a long way to be able to say that I am (mostly) in control of my destructive thoughts. It was a challenging path of trial and error, disappointments, and fresh starts. Yet here I am, with a baggage of experience, sharing some practical methods to overcome harmful self-doubt thoughts.
1. Be Honest with Yourself
As you know, honesty is the best policy in any sphere, and self-criticism is no exception. Honesty means acknowledging all insecurities and negative beliefs without judgment or avoidance. When you’re honest, you start to recognize your strengths and achievements.
Here are some tendencies that I’ve observed when I was NOT honest with myself:
- Self-sabotaging. I wanted to do one thing but did the opposite because I feared success.
- Complaining. I used to complain that my town had no well-paid teaching positions. Instead, I should have taken action and researched more to find out other options.
- Defensive reaction to criticism. I instantly got defensive when I got negative feedback. Now, I try to look within myself and perceive criticism as room for improvement.
2. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
When you constantly compare yourself to others, your self-doubt only gets stronger. It’s hard to break this vicious cycle, which makes you feel worse when you’re jealous of others.
ALWAYS keep in mind that we don’t know the complete stories of other people. As they say, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you don’t know anything about. Instead of focusing on others, try to use your past self as a benchmark of comparison.
3. Live in the Moment
Only recently have I been able to realize what stands behind carpe diem. To be more present, means appreciate the here and not compulsively get caught up in memories or worry about the future.
My top recommendation is to try mindfulness meditation. When you get overwhelmed with self-doubt, try focusing on your senses (sight, sound, touch, etc.) to return to the present moment. Practice more activities you enjoy and try to reflect on things you’re grateful for, at least occasionally.
4. Build Self-Trust
Self-trust is the opposite of self-doubt in some sense. It helps build confidence in your abilities, intuition, decisions, and judgment. My recommendation is to start by setting realistic goals. For example, promise yourself to go to the gym at least every weekend.
It’s not much, is it?
You will gradually develop trust in yourself and your abilities by constantly meeting small, realistic goals like this. Another useful tip is to step outside your comfort zone more. Every time you try something new, learn to rely on yourself; this will build on your self-confidence.
5. Seek Professional Help
If persistent feelings of self-doubt make it difficult for you to function in your daily life, it might be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional. Therapy can offer a safe space for self-exploration and provide more tools to manage your doubts.
I understand that starting therapy can be rather scary, especially if you’ve never done it before. But it’s normal. Just take one step at a time and see how it goes.
Self-doubt may be a persistent enemy, but not undefeatable. You just need to find the approach that works for you. Try implementing the strategies outlined above one by one, and you will notice how easy it is to reclaim control over your thoughts and actions. Appreciate the present, don’t compare yourself to others, regulate self-talk, et cetera, et cetera.
But never forget — honesty above all.
Overcoming self-doubt is a long and exhausting journey, not a destination, so be patient with yourself and celebrate even the smallest victories along the way. With dedication and perseverance, you’ll gradually cultivate greater self-assurance in your abilities. So, embrace the challenge, trust in your potential, and dare to believe in yourself. You’ve got this!
