DailyME 9: No excuses

Wait…Let me make one

NATALIIA TOTKA

Published in

100 Naked Words

3 min readOct 29, 2017

So I didn’t write a DailyME yesterday, because I was wiped out.

That’s me making an excuse.

I do that a lot actually, although I don’t realize it sometimes.

***

I didn’t write yesterday cause I was tired after 12-hour shift.

That is also the reason I didn’t go to this thing I had to go(SHOULD have gone).

I didn’t exercise cause I had no time and because I have a roommate and I can’t do the exercise I want to do in the room while she’s sleeping.

I didn’t read my usual 100 pages of a new book a day.

I wasn’t 100% proactive and happy at work, because I thought I was gonna leave around 4pm, when I actually left at 8pm, which made it a 12-hour shift.

I was annoyed yesterday at work, because I had to stay that late for no reason whatsoever.

I was also angry at one of my colleagues. The guy outranks me but he annoys everybody. So, at least it’s not just me. haha

I still didn’t put away OUR (HIS and my) photo from my windowsill. Frankly, I don’t know why. Some things are unexplainable, they are just the way they are. God knows better what is to be and what not. I hope my heart gets better soon.

The excuse for not being happy is — I am too busy, I don’t even have time to think if I’m happy or not. And that SUCKS big time.

*** But….I am actually ***

…lucky to be alive and to have roof over my head.

…lucky to have a job and to have fun while at it.

…lucky to have annoying colleagues, who serve me as a barricade for something and I have to overcome it.

…lucky to be exactly where I wanted to be, although the circumstances had changed.

…lucky to have parents who are always there for me, even if it’s thousand miles away.

…even lucky to have my heart broken so many times and still feeling something in that vicinity.

…lucky to have loved and lost rather than not loved at all

…lucky to be exactly the way I am, even though it took at lot of hardships, obstacle and pain to forge me in the ME I am today.

…lucky to have met HIM, because however it hurts me and however I wish I didn’t let men treat me like that and however tears are running down my cheeks right now, I had the happiest moments with HIM. I unknowingly fell for someone I never thought I would and exactly at the time when I wasn’t even looking for it.

…lucky in more ways than I know.

***

Thank you for reading

Support my writing here, make a donation ♥