This is a thing that happens constantly lately, so sorry if I mistook it for that. Women are pressured and accused of being transphobic if they don’t want to sleep with or date trans people for reasons like listed above. If you’re not specifically talking about that, then sorry I assumed that you were, but they use a lot of the exact same wording…
You’re missing the point of why people get pissed when they are told to reflect on their dating preferences. Your example with brown hair falls flat because it has nothing to do with sexual relationships. It is simply a preference and can’t be taken any other way.
“It is impossible to “sex” bodies without also gendering them.”
No, it’s not. This is an absolutely ludicrous thing to think. So you think that agender people have NO sex, and you want to erase the struggles of intersex people?