Dive into the deep end.
Imagine you’re on a diving board at a swimming pool for the first time in your life. You’re excited, curious, and anxious. As you get to the edge of the board to dive into the deep end of the pool, all those feelings begin to flood your senses (no pun intended). You might even have a thought like, “Can I really do this?” come to your mind. You might even go so far as to start to get off the diving board because you’re doubting yourself and your capability to do something ridiculous like diving into the pool.
And yet, you turn back around, start to run to the edge of that diving board, and you dive right in. As you feel the surge of that cold water engulf your entire body and adrenaline rush through your veins, you start to swim your way back up to the surface. You begin to smile, reveling in the reality that you faced your fears and took that dive into the deep end.
While I don’t know what 2023 has been like for you, this is what the year has personally been like for me- a dive into the deep end of the pool of life. Between those feelings of excitement and anxiety, questioning myself and my capability and capacity to do difficult, challenging work, and simply taking that plunge into the unknown, 2023 has presented me with so many opportunities to dive into deep, uncharted waters- all of which have brought me closer to God, myself, and others. There have been moments filled with grief and sorrow, such as closing the chapter on my four-and-a-half year run as the youth pastor at First Baptist Church on Saint Clair. There have been moments of anger and rage where I’ve questioned the bigger picture of my place as a Black man in modern-day America, and where I’ve experienced several mental breakdowns that separated me from myself and who I am. There were moments where I’ve experienced an incredibly loud and overwhelming sense of, “I’m where I need to be,” by enrolling in the University of Kentucky’s Master’s program for clinical mental health counseling and beginning this journey toward becoming a mental health counselor. There have been countless moments where I’ve had the opportunity to both physically and mentally sharpen myself by training at my home gym, Fisticuffs, and getting deeper into combat training. There have even been pleasant, unexpected moments by way of finding an online community called “Apple Slices” via Old School RuneScape and broadening my horizons by serving as a leader to this community. Perhaps the most pleasant and unexpected moment I’ve experienced this year is when I crossed paths with my person and found her when I wasn’t even looking for her in the first place. In all of these moments, and several others, I took that dive- those dives- into the deep end.
Even as I look ahead to what this new year has in store, I’m even more curious with what the “deep end” will continue to invite me into. Will there be moments when I’ll question my curiosity and go further as to question whether I’ll drown? Yes. Will there be moments when the deep end is all too overwhelming and too much to handle? Yes. Will there be moments when I’ll have to traverse at a much deeper level to continue growing and learning? Yes. Will I be ready for all these things and then some? Absolutely.
The truth is, I genuinely don’t know what awaits me in the deep end. I have some idea of what to expect, but I don’t have a full grasp, which is really exciting to me. It’s exciting to not know what to fully expect and to get the opportunity to consider how I’ll respond (or react in some cases, I’m sure). It’s exciting to swim deeper and deeper and get out of my comfort zone because of the hard work that awaits me. It’s exciting to be open toward whatever the deep end has to offer to me.
If I could shift things toward you and your perspective, I would imagine that this past year for you has been filled with ebbs and flows. My question is, what are you doing with those ebbs and flows? How are you- how can you- use the experiences from 2023 and carry them into 2024? How can you use this past year as a launching pad- or a diving board, if you will- to dive into the “deep end” of things? What is the deep end inviting you to be, do, and consider? What could the deep end reveal to you about yourself and others? In sum, I wonder what 2024 is perhaps inviting you into.
Could I invite you to take that dive into the deep end? Could I encourage you to have the audacity to try something new and to get out of your comfort zone? Could I nudge you to be bold enough to turn your talking into doing? Take a deep dive. Dive into the deep end, friends. You never know what could be waiting for you.
