Appreciate Your Ignorance

What happens when you continue to show up?

Efforts start to pay off.

There is a clearing at the end of the brush.

For even in the briefest of moments, you peak the mountain and witness the most beautiful of views.

Currently, I am enrolled in a 10-month program to learn a new skill and as I navigate learning this new craft outside of RitualCreate, the contrast between the unknown and how uncomfortable that space is and the space where I do know what I am doing and am comfortable there, has become blindingly apparent. All of my anxiety triggers alert at even the thought of speaking to my study group about this new skill we are learning; I feel I know nothing about it and am not worthy of contributing just yet. Whereas when I create or write for RitualCreate, the last 15 years of business creation, management, and ownership, all sing true within me; I feel excited and validated to share the knowledge I’ve attained throughout these years.

Have you felt this way before? You’re not alone. We all suffer from feelings of the impostor phenomenon (also know as impostor syndrome) at one time or another, and I believe it is completely normal. Especially amidst trying something new. I believe these feelings are simply your mind’s way of bringing awareness to the fact that you might just not know everything (shocker!), and within that space all our vulnerabilities set up camp and hang out. The beauty in this feeling of being an impostor is that it can be remedied, quite easily, but it does take effort, practice, and time.

What’s the remedy? Put the work in to develop your craft.

What’s the remedy? Put the work in to develop your craft. Learn the ins and outs — within whatever your own time constraints allow, read everything you can and obtain all the experience available to you. Be patient that this is a slow build and expect not results to happen overnight.

I’ve spent a good portion of my life learning new things and low and behold I’m left with frequent feelings of impostor — from working as a private banker in my early twenties (“who am I to give adults financial advice?”) while simultaneously juggling business ownership (“I’m going start a business and it’s going to be so easy!” …only the to find out once you’re in it that you really have no idea). Over time, sitting in that space of vulnerability builds that mental muscle to make harder challenges easier to comprehend or master.

…sitting in that space of vulnerability builds that mental muscle to make harder challenges easier to comprehend or master.

Now, in my early thirties, while I learn software development and have to present to my colleagues and mentors the applications I’ve created, the impostor cheerleader in me drums up a lot of, “Who am I to explain how code works?” and “I’m just going to switch careers after doing what I’ve been doing for 15 years?” The counter now is that I have spent time in those uncomfortable spaces, and can reflect back and recognize where I’ve gained knowledge in processes simply by immersing myself in hands-on experience, learning from colleagues and mentors, and reading books while in that space. I can better recognize that I am just in the undercurrent of learning a new process and that is okay. This space is safe and from here I will grow.

This space is safe and from here I will grow.

I’ve had years to experience the contrast between the know, think I know, and the unknown, therefore I can appreciate those spaces where I do feel comfortable sharing my experience and knowledge, while still remaining fully aware that I have a lot to work on and a lot yet to learn. It’s in the slow build of showing up that can really only be grasped in the tail end of things. The appreciation of your ignorance.

What’s causing blockage within your psyche? What makes you feel most ignorant? Delve into that space. Learn about it. Sit in it. Sometimes the only way to learn is by doing —and many times you can learn simply by educating the self. Gain that knowledge, so when you think or react or speak about something, you come from a place of informed knowledge. You come from a place where there is confidence in your unknowing.