Coronavirus & Mental Health: Fear, Loneliness & The Silver Lining of Quarantine
[This is PART 1 of a 5-part series exploring mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdown period. You can find the other pieces at the end of the article.]
Over the past week, I had several chats with people who feared the effect that the spread of COVID-19 would have on their mental health.
These were people who had suffered from bad bouts of anxiety and/or depression in the recent past.
For anyone who has been in the grips of depression, anxiety or any other mental health issue the thought of regression can be terrifying. Small, seemingly ineffectual, triggers can have colossal impact on their stability. Even the simple act of speaking about the peaks of unhappiness can be paralysing.
Now here we are at the beginning of a pandemic.
It’s taken everyone by surprise: we did not choose the time nor the speed. Panic has gripped the world. The virus is spreading at a staggering speed, killing thousands each day. The media is simply adding to the frenzy. And one thing is clear by now: this problem is not going away anytime soon.
Yet, to those people I spoke with about their concern about Coronavirus, the fear was due less to the potential destructiveness of the virus on themselves. It was due to global fear at a time of quarantine and the effects of isolation at home would have on their fragile mental health. These were people who either feared being alone or being trapped with people they didn’t know, away from loved ones.
It is the double blow of the situation that makes it so difficult: we must stay isolated to save the people we love at a time when we so desperately want to be with them.
We must be resolute, calm and self-sufficient. Never before in our lives have we needed our minds to be so strong. We have been forced out into the desert.
There are very tangible dangers associated with Coronavirus, which have quickly obvious to all of us. These fears have been discussed at length elsewhere.
My focus here, however, will be on the psychological effects that lead from quarantine and social isolation. I want to explore why our fear of being without constant and diverse human contact means that we are mentally unprepared for a sustained period of quarantine. Then, how we can use quarantine as an opportunity to start to overcome these exact fears.
A modern mania: the fear of being by ourselves
When jarred, unavoidably, by circumstances, revert at once to yourself, and don’t lose the rhythm more than you can help — Meditations, Marcus Aurelius
I started by asking myself a question: when was the last time I spent a day without speaking to or being with anyone else?
In my entire life, I am not sure I ever have spent a day without talking to someone else. No chats with flatmates, girlfriend, family, strangers at the store. No texts, Whatsapp, Slack, Facetime. No social media.
The thought of doing it is understandable. In fact, to most of us it probably sounds strangely appealing. To detract from both the offline and online worlds into our own world. Some people can do it with ease. They switch off from the outside world completely and can spend a day purely with themselves or go to a special place or retreat where they can be in silence.
Yet it is very common in modern life for people to actually fear being by themselves, particularly for some who suffer with anxiety, depression or other mental health problems. To us, being by ourselves for too long can be a terrifying prospect. Being alone can amplify the prejudices of our inner voices and can lead to the cancerous growth of shame, rage, frustration, resentment, and sadness.
In these moments, the constant noises of the outside world dims and we replace them with our own. Consciously or unconsciously, we may begin to analyse ourselves and become self-critical: that we do not have hobbies or passions; that we have not learnt anything new in years; or that we are unfulfilled in our jobs or relationships. These thoughts lead to a feeling that we are distanced from who we thought we were or who we want to be.
Self-isolation strikes at our core, because it may make many of us realise that we do not really know ourselves. Even those who claim they are well-versed in themselves will discover things they never knew.
For those of us who fear and feel this way, being by ourselves manifests itself as loneliness. We are lonely because nobody is there to understand and care for ourselves; not even the person who should be there relentlessly: us.
We are scared because we are jarred by circumstances; but we have no self to revert to. This is where our focus should lie during this period. There is no easy route to discovering ourselves. But a good start is with alone time.
No more FOMO: the silver lining of quarantine
Let’s flip everything on its head for a minute: what if quarantine was actually an incredible opportunity to overcome mental health problems?
For myself, and I believe many sufferers of anxiety and depression, one of the hardest things to overcome can be the perceived pressure of other people’s expectations. It might be performance at work or school, appearances among friends or colleagues, or reputation among wider society, we fear that we must keep up with people around us.
This pressure is largely derived from mass information from mainstream and social media and the popularity culture which has ensued. We can’t help but constantly see projections of others whom we want to be more like. The comparative attitude instilled in us by modern society means that we heap pressure on ourselves to be a certain way. This social pressure fuels jealousy, shame, self-criticism, rage and ultimately our inner judges to condemn us.
This is the silver lining of quarantine: the social pressure of everyday life has been lifted.
Everyone is stuck at home. There are few stories of new adventures to be shared. No travelling around the world. Nor heart-topped cappuccinos at coffee shops. There are just ordinary people. Stuck at home with little to do.
There is nothing better that we could be doing. FOMO has vanished.
The feeling is strange. We have always had something to do. We have always had someone to be with. Without the next thing neatly and inevitably lined up for us, there is the worry that we will fall into an existence without structure. It is an uncomfortable feeling that we must make our own existence meaningful day by day.
Yet, this discomfort is what we should be so excited about.
When our choice is restricted and we are without regular habits and rules, we can be at our most creative. We now have the opportunity to explore avenues of interest that we never knew existed. By seeing what sticks, we can start to build meaning into our daily lives far more effectively than default life.
With the potential longevity of quarantine, we must be prepared for discomfort and boredom. But we can start to discover ourselves again like never before, free from distraction. We can learn to entertain ourselves as if we were our best friend.
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To continue with the story, find the other parts below:
👉 Part 2: Free time, Love & Becoming Our Own Best Friend
👉 Part 3: Gratitude, Curiosity & Doing Less Better
👉 Part 4: Emotional Intelligence, Empathy & Practicing Openness
👉 Conclusion: Uncertainty, Strength & Holding Our Own
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