Am I Letting My Happiness Be Defined By [Someone] Else?
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval — Mark Twain
Are you letting your sense of self worth be defined by some measure of success, what a person thinks of you, your image, how much attention you get? Consider how your sense of self worth is defined.
It’s something that I’ve struggled with for years. It mattered a great deal to me whether someone liked me, whether they thought I was successful, whether I was smart. I got attached to the idea that I had to be perceived in a particular way and I worked hard to control that image. It took some time to start letting it go.
If a girl I really liked didn’t reply to my message, I’d obsess over it. Voices of self doubt would start creeping in. Maybe I’m not good enough? Maybe I did something wrong? Maybe she sees straight through me and sees all of my inadequacies. If I became aware of the negative thought loop, I’ll snap out of it. If not, I’ll obsess for a while, constantly checking the last time they were seen online and mentally listing out all the possible reasons why they wouldn’t reply. Suffice it to say, it was kind of exhausting and not all that productive.
The deeper your sense of self worth is tied to something external, the more viciously your emotions will fluctuate. The highs come from receiving the…
