How to keep your New Year’s Resolution: Create an Environment for Success
“Do you speak french with the kids at home?” I get asked this question regularly and I always get the same sense of silent disappointment when I say no.
Coming from Cameroon, the assumption is that I grew up bilingual (or worse still, a native French speaker). My parents taught me as a child and I should do the same for my kids. Especially with all the benefits of bilingualism in children. The truth is that Cameroon is part English and part French speaking. My family is from the English speaking part and English is the only language we’ve ever spoken at home.
Like many people I was taught French in school and, like many people, I didn’t learn much. When we moved back to Cameroon and I was living in Yaounde, the French speaking capital, I learned French quickly and it stuck with me because I was speaking it on a daily basis with French speakers. It was a necessary life skill and not just some elective language to satisfy the academic curriculum.
It still makes me laugh today when I imagine what Ms P (who tried to teach me French for 2 years in middle school) would say of my fluency. Let’s just say somewhere in the world there are pigs flying.
I shared in her frustration the other day though; as my son had forgotten how to tell the time… again. As a new homeschooling parent I felt like I was failing. He was first introduced to reading the time in reception, which I found ironic because they weren’t allowed to wear watches to school at that age. Since then we’ve visited time-telling a few times and he was always quick to grasp the concept of ‘past’ and ‘to’ but would quickly forget it.
This time, I remembered learning French. How I would remember vocabulary and conjugations for a few days and then forget them after we moved on to the next set of vocabulary and verbs; how speaking (broken) French with kids in the neighborhood helped my confidence, familiarity and fluency. So I got my son a watch. He wears it all the time and loves to tell the time; loves to time events… the novelty will probably wear off at some point but that doesn’t bother me. It’s not like I’m speaking French to my kids at home everyday but I’m sure he won’t be forgetting how to tell the time any time soon. Because it’s no longer just a game that we play on road trips or at the breakfast table; it’s a necessary life skill.
I had to remind myself of this because this was a large part of the reason we decided to home educate our children to begin with; so they could learn things they needed, when they needed it, instead of just ticking off boxes. The challenge was on us to create an environment with the resources to enable them flourish.
What I’ve loved the most about our unschooling journey is how much it has helped me realise what changes I need to make in order to succeed. Not just success in helping my children learn but also to realise success in my personal plans. What I’ve been most constantly reminded of is how important creating the right environment is to success. It’s not always easy to create but it makes everything else easier.
In my last article, I spoke about owning your change. If the declaration of it is the battle cry, creating the right environment would be drawing the metaphorical sword.
It’s not always easy. Especially when many factors of your environment are beyond your control; like your place of work or working hours. Sometimes the solutions can seem drastic. When I decided I didn’t want to deal with a long commute to get to work, I ended up moving to Cardiff for my next job opportunity. Going from an hour and a half on the train to a 20 minute walk to work made such a significant difference to my personal productivity.
On a less drastic note you could speak to a manager and request some flexibility around work times that will support your personal plans, whether it’s squeezing in a gym session or some time to do a little bit of writing everyday. If you’ve owned the change and discuss it with them, most good managers will find a way to support you.
Family meals can be tricky if eating more healthily is a goal. Explaining to your partner and/or kids that you’re going to be eating at a different time or having a different meal may make it easier so everybody understands that you’re not distancing yourself from the family.
It’s also important to remember the environment is not only physical; it can also be emotional. I’ll be addressing this in my next post which is about being selfish with your objectives.