6 Reasons Why Knowing Your Love Language Can Improve Your Relationship
Have you ever met couples who fight every day? Even though they are in love with each other? One always blames the other for not understanding them. And the other says he never feels appreciated for what he does
According to Dr. Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages, People have different ways to experience love. They are acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation.
What is your love language? Do you recognize it? If you do not know yet, you can try this 5 love language quiz to find out your language.
The language of love is not just for couples. It can also be used in friendships, with family, and with people close to you.
Here are 6 reasons why recognizing your love language can improve your relationships with others:
1. Reduce misunderstandings
We receive and express love in different ways. If we learn to understand the language of love of people around us, it can improve our relationships.
My father’s love language is an act of service. And my mother’s love language is word affirmations. They are both completely different in temperament. When I was a child, I often saw them arguing with each other
I wonder why these two different people can attract each other. And stay together in their marriage for decades. I can not understand it. Until I grew up and learned that people can express their love in different ways.
“Somewhere between love and hate lies confusion, misunderstanding, and desperate hope.” ― Shannon L. Alder
2. Feel more appreciated
Have you ever had someone who always tries to give you something, but never has time for you? Or someone who only ever says good things about you? When what you want is just a hug or a gift?
These people may be trying to express their love language, but in a different way than you wish. When you recognize the other love language, even if it is different, you will learn to stop doubting yourself and appreciate it more.
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.” ― Oprah Winfrey
3. Variety in activities
People or friends who speak the same love language usually think and do the same activities. But having someone by your side who has a different way of expressing love can also enrich the life of a friendship and relationship. It brings more variety outside the routine and makes you think outside the box.
When someone loves language is receiving a gift or quality time, the way they express this may be by taking you to your favorite place. They may want to have a good quality time with you. Or it may be that they are showering you with a gift to make you happy.
But what if their love language is the act of service and word affirmation? In that case, they may try to help you with your project and work. And they will encourage you and support you in what you are doing. Have you ever experienced this?
The essence of the beautiful is unity in variety. — Felix Mendelssohn
4. Fulfill both needs
Couples, friends, or teams that understand each other stay together longer. Regardless of who they are or what culture and background they come from.
Many people leave relationships because the relationship does not meet their needs. What they give and receive, or what others give and expect to receive, may be different.
Most of the time it is because of misunderstandings and not knowing each other’s needs. It could be because they have different love languages. And different ways of expressing it. Knowing what is important to both parties can strengthen the relationship.
Let each know that for each the body, the mind, and the soul have been freed to fulfill themselves. — Nelson Mandela
5. Increase connection
Have you ever felt more connected when someone understood your feelings? Do you feel more connected to others when you understand them better?
Knowing and understanding others in their way of expressing love can increase the feeling of connection. This makes us feel more comfortable and safe even though we are different.
If someone cares about what you need. And you also care about their needs. Even if the way you both express your love language is different, it can bring you both closer together.
We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep. — William James
6. Improve communication
When we know the other person’s love language, there will be less misunderstanding.
Often the biggest problem in a relationship or friendship is that we do not speak the same love language. This can lead to misunderstandings or the feeling of being abandoned.
Have you ever been in a situation like this? Perhaps you are in a relationship with someone with a different native language and culture. It is important to be aware of this to avoid misunderstandings.
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion it has taken place.” — George Bernard Shaw
The more you know about someone and how they express their love, the stronger the relationship will be. It allows you to understand and respond to each other’s needs. By knowing what is important to both of you. This strengthens your relationship. In a way that meets, satisfies, and aligns with each other’s wants.
Have you identified your love language? What reason do you think can improve your relationship?
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