6 Ways To Be Confident When You Are Struggling With Your Self-Esteem

What you say to yourself matters.

Dian Sage
5 min readSep 27, 2022
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Have you ever struggled with your self-esteem? Would you like to improve your self-confidence?

Self-confidence is something we want to have and are always looking for. Someone confident can seem happier. It is also easy for them to make friends, influence others, and live a more fulfilling life.

Self-confidence usually does not come naturally to a person. Many factors can contribute to someone being confident and having good self-esteem. These factors can come from a variety of sources, such as family, friends, environment, experience, etc.

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. — Helen Keller

What is self-confidence?

According to verywellmind.com self-confidence is a feeling of trust in your abilities, qualities, and judgment. Research suggests that confidence is important to health and psychological well-being.

Here are 6 ways that can help you to be confident:

1. Reading good books

What is the connection between books and self-confidence? Quite a lot. Books are the source of wisdom. If you live in a negative environment and do not have a good influence, they will help you. It can be your best friend and companion.

The book is the result of many years of research and experience of the authors. It is full of stories from many different people and cases. It can be a guide for you if you have no one to support you and tell you the truth about yourself. If you put what you read into practice to improve yourself, your self-esteem will grow.

“Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.” — Charles William Eliot

2. Join a positive community

Friends can be one of the factors that strengthen or weaken your self-confidence. If you have good friends, they can help you boost your self-esteem and bring out the best in you. But if you have negative friends, they can drag you down and keep you from reaching your potential.

Best friends are not about how long you have known them. Rather, it’s about the quality of your relationship with them. One of the best and long-lasting friendships you can find is in a good community. For example, Toastmasters, a social community, a sports community, etc.

“Every person is defined by the communities she belongs to.” — Orson Scott Card

3. Physical exercise

Have you ever felt tired, bad mood, and unmotivated? When you are in this state of emotions it can affect your self-esteem and self-confidence. No one can be 100% confident all the time.

There will be moments when you feel good about yourself, and moments when you do not. Physical exercise is one of the best ways to boost and maintain your self-confidence.

Some self-esteem issues are related to our body image. Research has shown that regular physical activity can boost self — confidence. It can reduce stress, provide a sense of accomplishment and promote concentration. It also can make you feel better about yourself.

You’re only one workout away from a good mood. — unknown

4. Learning public speaking

One of the greatest fears people have is public speaking. Even for those who experience it, it is not easy. But it can have a great impact on your self-development. Especially to problems such as fear, nervousness, social anxiety, etc.

If you become familiar with it, it can increase your self-confidence and self-esteem. Learning public speaking can also improve your personal and professional life.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. — Eleanor Roosevelt

5. Practice positive self-talk

What you say to yourself matters. Do you say a good word to yourself or not? For example, do you say that you are worthy of love or not worthy? Our inner words and what we say to our inner self can become affirmations for our souls. They can be positive or negative.

Positive self-talk can boost your confidence, keep you focused, and lead you to better performance. One of the best moments for positive self-talk is before you go to sleep and when you wake up in the morning. This is the best moment when your mind is calm and serene.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.” Henry Ford

6. Keep your promise

Who do you think can be the biggest enemy of your self-esteem? Negative and toxic people may be one of them. But the one closest to you, and the one you see in the mirror every day, is your best enemy.

Have you ever made a promise to yourself? What is it about? Is it about your self-growth, health, a project, etc.? Did you keep your promise? or did you break it and never put it into action?

If you promise and commit to do something. But instead of starting to do it, you do not do it and you cancel it. If you have ever done that, it can have a dangerous effect on your self-esteem. It can affect your reputation, integrity, respect, and the way you perceive yourself.

“The worst promise you can break is the one you make to yourself.” — David Kirsch

If you don’t keep a promise to yourself, the one who suffers the most, in the long run, is you, not others. You might start doubting yourself and your ability.

It doesn’t matter how small and slow the progress is. What matters most is that you keep a promise to yourselves. Because the one who gets a reward in the end and wins is you. Self-confidence and high self-esteem are only one of the results of this.

What ways will you choose to improve your self-esteem?

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Dian Sage

5X Top Writer, Tea Lover, Life Coach & Lifelong Learner. — I write about self-improvement, life lessons, mental health & well-being. https://ko-fi.com/diansage