Misty Rose: Nature
Chapter 8
It was a couple nights later… right after I finally got the rest of that fucking dye off my face, actually… that the thing I’d been avoiding came back in a way that was… um, unavoidable. Sorry, that was supposed to be all epic and dramatic and shit, but I couldn’t come up with a better way to say it. Anyway, yeah, so… it was like an hour or so after sunset. Kaitlyn wasn’t there when I woke up, but she got home while I was getting the last of the fucking dye off. She was sitting on her bed eating some fries I guess she picked up on her way home and had a little bag from this used DVD place we’d go to sometimes next to her. I mention the fries because I actually watched her eat for a little while. See, vampires can’t eat food, and my experience with the crackers… and everything else… made me feel a little sick if I thought about eating actual food. But the human part of me still had some of the same reactions I’d get if I saw some kinds of food. Like, ooh I haven’t had that in a while, looks tasty. That sort of thing. And Kaitlyn didn’t bring home food much. The garlic incident had been, what, two weeks before? Three? Kind of hard to keep track of time when a bunch of nights are just me sitting around on my ass watching videos on my phone and hanging out.
So I was watching Kaitlyn eat, and she saw me doing it and raised an eyebrow.
“Just watchin’ you eat,” I said.
“Why?”
I shrugged. “Just ‘cause.”
“You hungry?”
“For food?” I laughed. “No. Not at all.”
“For blood,” she said, and that wasn’t anything to laugh about.
“Maybe a little,” I said. “Not a big deal.”
“How often do you need to feed?” she said. I didn’t really like her calling it that because… I dunno, it felt like I was an animal or something. But she didn’t seem bothered by it.
“Seems like once a week or so,” I said, looking away.
“Been more than a week since the park,” she said, and she was right. I didn’t tell her about my first time looking for blood on purpose because I didn’t want her to think of me like that.
I shrugged. “Maybe sittin’ around doesn’t make me thirsty as fast.”
“You’re a shitty liar,” she said. I sighed. She was right, but I didn’t like being told that.
“It’s no big deal.”
“You went out hunting while I was asleep, didn’t you?” She didn’t sound angry. More curious.
“Um…” I said, still looking down. “Yeah. I did.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“’Cause… I don’t like you thinkin’ about me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like a vampire.”
Kaitlyn folded her arms. “How about you let me think for myself?”
I glanced at her, and yeah, now she looked a little annoyed. I didn’t say anything.
“I know you’re a vampire,” she said. “I just hafta look at you being dead all day to know that. You don’t hafta pretend you aren’t with me, though. ’Cause I know you’re Misty… who just happens to be a vampire, too. We talked about this, remember?”
I made a face. “Yeah, but… still.”
Kaitlyn rolled her eyes. “You think about how this is you hiding things from me? Things I might wanna know, like how thirsty you are, or if you’ve been hurt or something?”
“No,” I said. “Didn’t think about it like that. Sorry.”
“S’okay,” she said. “Just… try to think about what I actually feel, and not just how you feel about what you think I feel, okay? You’re acting like Mandy.”
“Oh god,” I put my head down. “Sorry.” Mandy was a girl Kaitlyn had dated for a couple months who was also bi, but… not as comfortable with it. Mandy would… get into these moods where she’d get worried about what people thought about her, then about what she thought about what they thought, and what they’d think about what she thought about what they thought, and so on to the point that she’d have anxiety attacks. But she never thought maybe she could just ask what the person actually thought instead of her deciding what they thought. And she’d basically decide that whatever paranoid fantasy she’d had was what was actually happening, which is why she and Kaitlyn broke up. Sounded to me like Mandy broke up with Kaitlyn over a fight Mandy had imagined, but didn’t actually tell Kaitlyn they’d broken up until Mandy’d gone back to an ex in tears.
Kaitlyn didn’t cry about that one. By the time we’d worked our way through the demented sort of apologizing but not really breakup text Mandy sent… yeah, a text… Kaitlyn was way past tears and we went right into getting drunk. Mandy sort of became our way of saying when one of us started deciding what the other was thinking… but I gotta be honest, I did it more than Kaitlyn.
Anyway, tangent. I didn’t say anything for a bit, and Kaitlyn finished her fries. Then she bounced the fry… sleeve? Container? The fry thing off my head. “Hey. You gonna tell me about it?”
“Um…” I looked up. “You really wanna know?”
“I asked, yeah? So tell me.”
“Well, if you’re sure…” I said. “I waited until you were asleep…”
“’Cause you didn’t want me to know.”
“And ’cause I’d know you’d start snorin’ and I didn’t wanna hear it.”
“I don’t snore.”
“Yes, you do snore.”
“No I don’t.”
“You want me to record you? I got an app for that.”
“I don’t snore.”
“You also make these cute sleepin’ sounds. Like you’re dreamin’ about…”
“Stop stalling.”
“Okay, okay,” I said. “Um… there’s not a lot to tell. Went out for a walk and some jerk tried to mug me. I knocked him out and… did my thing. End of story.”
“That sounds kinda dirty,” Kaitlyn said, grinning.
“It wasn’t.”
“Why’d he go after you?”
“Dunno, he was a thug.” Kaitlyn gave me a flat look. “Well, okay, I was… dressed like a jogger.”
“Sports bra and short shorts?”
“Hoodie, actually,” I said. “Earbuds. Y’know.”
“What time was it?”
“Three, I think.”
“And he thought you were out jogging?”
“He didn’t seem very smart. Like he was on somethin’ too.”
“Yeah, that’d do it. He live?”
“Kaitlyn!” I said.
“What? He attacked a young woman out jogging. He coulda been a rapist.”
“Yeah, but…” I said, frowning. “I’m not gonna kill people. Even people like him.”
“I was just kidding,” Kaitlyn said. “How’d you know he lived?”
“’Cause didn’t take enough to hurt him.”
“Uh huh,” Kaitlyn said. “And how’dya know how much to take?”
“’Cause I looked it up, that’s how,” I said. “I’m not stupid.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. An adult human can lose up to thirty percent of their blood before they’re in danger, Kaitlyn. It’s called a Class 2 hemorrhage. Doesn’t even need a transfusion. Just some… juice or somethin’. S’how much they take at blood donation places.”
“Okay, but… still. How’d you know for sure?”
“He was a big guy. I guessed. So no, I don’t know for sure. Couldn’t have been more than a couple of pints. Big guy like him can handle being a couple of pints low.”
“Uh huh. And you know how much a pint is?”
“Yes, I know how much a pint is. Pint glass. Beer. Give me some credit.”
Kaitlyn snorted. “Yeah, but still.”
“C’mon, Kaitlyn,” I rolled my eyes. “If you’re that worried, I could you make you come with me. You could measure all the blood and be the bait.”
“Why me?”
“’Cause doin’ this every time is gonna ruin all my clothes.”
“Really? Like how?”
“Nothin’ important. I guess he got my sleeve at some point with his knife.”
Kaitlyn nodded. “Let me see it, I’ll fix it.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Already fixed it.”
“Okay,” Kaitlyn said. “So… you went out, got mugged, beat up the mugger somehow…”
“Thanks for that,” I said.
“Then what happened?”
“Not much. Dragged him into an alley, tried to ignore that he was a masochist…”
“How’d you know that?”
“Skinny jeans,” I said. “Could tell he really, really liked me bitin’ him.”
“Wasn’t he unconscious?”
“Mostly. Didn’t seem to matter.”
“Okay, that’s kinda weird. Anything else?”
“Nope. Dragged him into the alley, got my wallet back… and, um… took his.”
“What?” Kaitlyn asked.
“’Cause I had to, okay?”
“Why?”
“The rent,” I said, looking away.
“You don’t have to…” Kaitlyn started.
“Yeah, I kinda do,” I said. “Where do you think I got two hundred in cash, Miss Smartypants? I can’t hold down a job like this, and I know you can’t handle all the rent on your own.”
“Thought maybe you’d taken up walking the streets.”
I gave her a flat look. “I sorta did. Only it wasn’t me that got fucked.”
“Okay, but… stealing? You okay with that?”
“Not really,” I said. “But I’m not gonna to make you homeless ’cause of… what I am.”
“You gonna keep doing that?”
“Dunno. Not unless I have to. I’ll thinka somethin’.”
Kaitlyn frowned like she was thinking it over. “What if they call the cops?”
“Sure,” I said, shoveling the sarcasm on thick. “Some street thug’s gonna go to the cops and tell ’em he was just hangin’ out in an alley, I dunno, bakin’ cookies for orphans, and some mean blond chick with noodle arms beat him up and took his wallet.”
Kaitlyn threw a pillow at me. “Tell me you at least didn’t keep the wallet.”
“Nope. Tossed it in a garbage can a block away. Wiped it off with my sleeve first, too.”
“Good,” Kaitlyn said. “So… how’re you? With all this?”
“Well, drinkin’ blood is still…”
“Like a screaming orgasm?”
“I don’t actually scream like that, Kaitlyn. But yeah.”
Kaitlyn actually looked a little jealous for a sec. “Okay. Anything else?”
“That’s the weird thing,” I said. “Whatever that jerk was on, it… sorta started hittin’ me, too. Like a contact high. Didn’t last long, but it was weird.”
“Huh,” Kaitlyn said. “Maybe something in his blood?”
“Maybe,” I said.
“Okay,” Kaitlyn said. “So maybe you can still get drunk. We can work with that. Just need to have guys drink whatever they’re buying you, then you can drink ‘em.”
“Kaitlyn…” Yeah, I was sort of annoyed.
“Should probably test it,” Kaitlyn said. “Don’t wanna get guys so drunk or high that it’ll be dangerous if we don’t have to, y’know?”
“Kaitlyn!”
“Well, we can deal with that later,” she said, ignoring me being annoyed. “What else?”
“Nothin’,” I said. “Came home, let myself back in, fixed my hoodie. You started snorin’ again a little before dawn, and I watched cat videos until I passed out. End of story.”
“I think you might be the only person in the world who’d watch cat videos after beating up and drinking some thug in an alley,” Kaitlyn said. “And I don’t snore.”
“Well, I was prob’ly still feelin’ whatever that guy was on. And yes you do.”
“No I don’t.”
“I’m gonna record you next time.”
“You’ll be waiting a while then, ’cause I don’t snore.”
I grinned at her. “Anyway, that’s why I’m not thirsty.”
“Alright,” she said. “But don’t feel like you gotta hide it from me, okay?”
“Okay,” I said. I still wasn’t comfortable with it, but she had a point. If telling her when I went out to feed helped her not feel like I was getting too thirsty to be safe around, I’d tell her. Maybe not everything. I didn’t think I’d always have it as easy because nothing ever works out like that, but I could at least let her know I wasn’t starving or anything. And… I didn’t really like stealing from people, either, but… they were gonna steal from me, and like I told her, I didn’t wanna make Kaitlyn homeless because I couldn’t handle my part of the rent. I mean, my not eating helped a little, but that didn’t make up for all of my half. The landlady wouldn’t be understanding forever, and I couldn’t tell her why I didn’t have a job. So picking up some extra cash from the assholes I’d be feeding from would have to do for now. Once I had a better handle on being a vampire, I could maybe find something I could do. Maybe.
Anyway, that was pretty much it for that conversation. We kind of just… drifted into the usual stuff we’d talk about when we were hanging out at home. Gossip from work, though now it was mostly Kaitlyn supplying that, stuff we’d seen online, that kinda stuff. I wasn’t really listening when Kaitlyn started talking about what she did that morning until she tossed the bag she had at me. Like I said, it was from this used DVD place we’d go to sometimes. What they had was kind of… well, some of it was normal, and some of it was weird, and it was kinda luck to find anything specific you wanted, but we’d go there sometimes because we could get stuff cheap. I hadn’t been back there since I got turned because they closed at like seven in the evening, so it was kind of hard to get there. Kaitlyn had this little flat screen and player her parents’d given her that we’d set up on my dresser where we could both lay in bed and watch movies if we wanted. We had some of the usual chick flicks and rom coms you’d expect from a couple of college girls. Not everything because some stuff just doesn’t get sold to a used DVD place. We also had some other stuff, like The Martian because I think Matt Damon is hot now that he’s older and… more serious and grown up and not like some frat boy, and Kaitlyn had a few anime things because they were weird and she liked them. We also had Thor and Dr. Strange because of Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberpatch and Chris Hemsworth, and I gotta say that I appreciated that the fan service from a half-naked chesty blond was a guy for once.
I’m only talking about this because what Kaitlyn brought home this time wasn’t like anything we usually watched. For one, it didn’t look like there were any hot guys in it. But mostly because it was a vampire movie, and we didn’t watch those. Saw that right away when I took it out of the bag. Kind of hard to miss, really. I sighed.
“Kaitlyn, no,” I said.
She grinned at me. “Oh, c’mon.”
“No vampire movies.”
“It’s Mel Brooks.”
“I see that. But it’s a vampire movie.”
“It’s Mel Brooks.”
“It’s Dracula: Dead and Loving It.”
“So?”
“So, it’s bad,” I said, grabbing my phone and looking up the movie. “It’s got… see? It’s got an eleven percent on Rotten Tomatoes. It’s terrible. No.”
“How’d you know it’s bad?”
“I just did. Saw someone say it was, prob’ly.”
“Maybe it’s bad enough to be funny.”
“Or just bad enough to be bad.”
“C’mon,” she said, giving me puppy dog eyes. “Please?”
“I…” I sighed. Kaitlyn has really fucking good puppy dog eyes. “Okay, fine.”
“Thanks,” Kaitlyn grinned and bounced up to get everything set. I felt like this was going to be a bad idea. Not exactly the most… tasteful subject, you know? But Kaitlyn was into the idea, and it can be really hard to stop her when she’s all worked up about something so… guess I was stuck. She grabbed the remote, tossed the empty case back to me, and laid down on her bed. I picked up the box.
“Who the fuck is Leslie Nielsen, anyway?”
And yeah, it was bad. Kaitlyn liked it. But it was just bad. By the time it was finally over, I felt like I was going to have a grimace permanently stamped on my face.
“So…” Kaitlyn said. “What’d you think?”
“Bad,” I said. “Just bad.”
“C’mon, you’ve gotta have some kinda comments.”
“Nothin’ I wanna talk about.” Which was true. I didn’t have anything good to say, and I sort of had this thing about being too negative about something someone else likes. Thing was, Kaitlyn knew about my thing about being negative, and she dealt with it by bothering me until I told her what I was trying to avoid saying because it was too negative. Which is what she did then. We went back and forth on it a couple times before I gave up.
“Ugh, okay fine,” I said. “First off, I don’t make a… thirsty gerbil face when I see blood.”
“Okay.”
“Second, all the female vampires were clichés. Oversexed and slutty and crazy. Which is stupid. They were pretty much there to… to make the guys uncomfortable and wear stupid underwired nightgowns and try to have sex with anythin’ they could. Like the bed post.”
Kaitlyn rolled her eyes at me.
“I looked at the credits, Kaitlyn,” I told her. “The blond vampire? Her character’s name was literally Blond Vampire. And the only female vampire with lines turned into a sex crazed slut. And she died. None of that makes me feel very good about myself, ’cause I’m a female vampire.”
“I noticed,” Kaitlyn said.
“I saw.”
“Yay for the progressive feminist.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s part of it, but it’s more that… I get stereotyped enough as it is bein’ blond and at least sorta attractive. People think I’m dumb. Well… vampires usedta be people and… I dunno, maybe they might see shit like this and just assume I’m some dumb blond vampire slut. And I gotta deal with how they look at me and see some actress humpin’ a bedpost. I gotta put up with their shit ’cause they aren’t smart enough to think maybe I’m not like that.”
“Is that all you didn’t like?”
“No,” I said, making a face. “There’s other stuff. That’s just what comes to mind right away. Like… okay, who lights all the candles? Vampires don’t like fire. And I’m pretty fuckin’ sure we don’t spray blood like that when someone stakes us. Think Pops or someone might’ve said.”
“Did you guys talk about getting staked?” Kaitlyn asked me.
“No, but still. Only thing from that movie that seemed like it’d be true is how stupid and full of ‘emselves vampires are. Well, ‘cept for Pops.”
“Really?” Kaitlyn said, giving me an innocent look. “I don’t think you’re full of yourself.”
“Just stupid?”
“Well, you are blond.”
“Funny.”
Kaitlyn sighed and rolled over on her bed. “You needta relax. It was just a dumb movie making fun of other vampire movies. Nothing to get all serious about.”
“If it was makin’ fun of vampire movies, it shoulda been funny.”
“Okay, sure, but still.”
“But nothin’. I get it’s makin’ fun of vampire movies, but it was just bad.”
“Can you do any of that stuff?”
“What stuff?”
“Turn into a bat. Open a window with your mind. Vampire stuff.”
“Never tried.”
“Aww…” Kaitlyn pouted at me. I sighed, then shifted position to stare directly at her, making my eyes go buggy. She stared back for a bit, then said, “What’re you doing?”
“I’m tryin’ to make you stop talkin’ about the movie,” I said.
Kaitlyn pouted at me again. “You don’t hafta be like that.”
“Don’t make me watch bad vampire movies and I won’t.”
Got to be honest, though, I also didn’t like it because… well, it’s not as funny when you actually are whatever is being made fun of and you don’t want to be, you know? Being a vampire is pretty shitty, or at least it seemed like it, and like the stuff that wasn’t shitty didn’t make up for it because of all the stuff that was both shitty and fucked up. Yeah, actually drinking blood felt really fucking good, but… it was drinking blood from a human. And that means I gotta either hurt a lot of people, or only murder a few people. Pretty fucking sucky choice. Then there was the dying in sunlight thing, and most of the really interesting things people did were during the day. But you get the idea.
The rest of the evening was just the usual hanging out until Kaitlyn went to sleep, then me sitting around looking at videos on my phone. Seriously. There wasn’t a whole lot for me to do. I did wind up getting Kaitlyn back, though. I recorded her snoring on my phone. Played it for her the next evening. She said I’d gotten it off the internet just to keep saying she snored when she didn’t.
