Misty Rose: Nature
Chapter 17
Few days after things went bad with the three guys, me and Kaitlyn were just hanging out, laying around on our beds and talking about whatever, which in this case was exes. Specifically, you remember how I talked about running into an ex at the gas station? His name was Dylan, and he was an upper middle class suburban asshole. This is actually kind of important because he somehow got the idea that because he was “rescuing” a poor girl from working as a waitress in a Hooters knockoff, it was perfectly okay for him to also have a “real” girlfriend from his own tax bracket. I guess I didn’t tell him to fuck off enough at the gas station because he’d gone back to the club where I used to work.
“Yeah,” Kaitlyn said. “He was asking about you too.”
“He was?” I said. “Jesus.”
“Mmmhmm. What’d you say to him?”
“I told him we were through. Over.”
“Funny, but he didn’t seem to think that.”
“I… mighta had vampire thirsty face when I looked at him.”
Kaitlyn just grinned at me. “Still can’t believe you actually dated him.”
“Yeah, well…” I said, making a face. “I was stupid.”
“You think?”
“Never date anyone you meet at a strip club. He’s proof.”
“You should let him take you out on a date. Then go vampire on him.”
“Hah, yeah, I should. He deserves gettin’ beat up and drank.”
“Drank?” Kaitlyn grinned at me.
“Drunk?” I said, glaring at her. “Drinked? Whatever. Getting his blood sucked out.”
“You should, yeah.”
“Yeah, well… that’d mean actually talkin’ to his cheatin’ ass again.”
“You still mad?”
“Yeah, I’m still mad.”
“Well, that’s what happens when you date people you meet at a strip club.”
“Like you’re all innocent,” I said, poking Kaitlyn in the side. “What was his name? Jason?”
“Ugh,” Kaitlyn said, rolling away and covering her face with her arms. “Don’t remind me.”
“He was hittin’ on me too, remember.”
“I remember,” Kaitlyn said. “And how he kept saying you and me and him should have a threesome. Told him you weren’t my type, but he wouldn’t shut up about it.”
“Uh huh,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I’m sure it was completely his fault.”
“Hey,” she said. “I should call him and tell him yes. Then you can go vampire on him, too.”
“I’m not gonna be your revenge fix, Kaitlyn.”
“C’mon, I won’t even make you pretend to be into having a threesome. You can just beat him up and drink him when he shows up. Won’t even try to take off your clothes.”
“Great,” I gave Kaitlyn a flat look. “But I said I wasn’t gonna anyway.”
“But he deserves it,” Kaitlyn aimed a pout at me.
“They both deserve it, but I’m not… gonna be like that.”
“You’ve beaten up a lot of other assholes.”
“That’s different,” I said. “They attacked me.”
“Okay,” Kaitlyn said, “But…”
Right at that point, the doorbell rang. We looked at each other. Can’t say the track record on having our doorbell run at one in the morning was all that good at that point.
“Um…” I said. “Should I get that?”
“Yeah,” Kaitlyn said. “Better if it’s you.”
“Well, I dunno. Last time was the scary lady. Maybe we should just pretend we’re not here.”
“Lights are on. And whoever it is can prob’ly hear us through the door.”
“Okay,” I sighed. “Maybe you should… hide in the bathroom. For now.”
Kaitlyn got up and went into the bathroom. “Tell me when it’s safe,” she said, closin’ the door.
“I’ll let you know,” I said, then took a deep breath. Alright, nothing to be afraid of, I can do this… I went to our front door and checked that the locks were all on. Then I looked through the peephole, more out of habit than anything else because it’d cracked or something so you couldn’t actually see through it. “Um… who is it?” I said through the door.
“It’s me,” said a voice I recognized. I undid all the locks and opened the door.
“Hey Pops,” I said, smiling. It’d been a while.
Pops looked at me with his eyebrows raised. “You expecting trouble?” he said.
“Oh,” I shook my head. “No, just bein’ careful. Hold on a sec.” I half turned around towards the bathroom door. “KAITLYN! IT’S OKAY!” I yelled. After a moment, I heard the door open, and Kaitlyn came out, looking through the door at Pops. She seemed… nervous, but not scared.
“Pops, this is Kaitlyn,” I said. “Kaitlyn, Pops.”
“Hi,” Kaitlyn said, only halfway through the room. Pops did this… sort of half-bow thing. Looked like something old-fashioned, which it probably was. Pops had been around for a long time.
“She’s, um… my best friend,” I said. “From before… I got turned.”
“We all need friends,” Pops said, then smiled again. “Especially us, now.”
“Yeah. She… knows. Some stuff. I hadta tell her at least a little.”
Pops nodded. “Just as long as she keeps it to herself.”
“I will,” Kaitlyn said. “Kinda hard not to know something was up.”
I sighed. “Yeah, things kinda went weird right away. Anyway, she knows about… the Baron and whatever, and what happens to us if she tells anyone else.”
Pops just smiled. “Glad to meet the friend of a friend.”
“Pops is…” I stopped, feeling embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t ask what your real name was.”
“Most people just call me Pops,” he shrugged. “It’s a good enough name.”
“Oh, okay,” I said. “Pops it is then. Um… he’s the one that helped me at the thing.”
Kaitlyn nodded and tried to smile at Pops, but she still looked nervous.
“You mind if I borrow your friend?” Pops asked, smiling at Kaitlyn. “We have things we should probably talk about. Not trying to be rude, but they’re things to do with… people like us.”
Kaitlyn looked at me. “Well… okay,” she said, then grinned. “Just have her back by her curfew. She’s too young to be out on the town too late without a chaperone.”
Pops put on a serious face. “I will be a true gentleman, you have my word.” Then he bowed again, this time with more of a flourish. I was sure they were making fun of me somehow.
Kaitlyn looked at me, then stepped forward to give me a light slap on the butt. “Go on. Clothes, shoes, and keys. Don’t keep the nice man waiting, girl.”
I narrowed my eyes at her, but picked up the things I’d need and went to the bathroom to change. I was glad they seemed to be getting along, but I didn’t want to encourage Kaitlyn to make any more jokes. Though it’s got to be said, getting annoyed didn’t seem to stop her, either. I walked back out once I was done and went to the door. “Okay,” I said. “I’m all set.”
Pops nodded, then held out his arm like you see in those old movies. I looked at his arm, then at Kaitlyn, who was grinning again. Then I put on a snooty face and put my hand on Pops’ arm. “I’ll be back later,” I said, and tried to sweep out of the room. Least, as much as you can in a hoodie and leggings. I heard Kaitlyn start giggling just before the door closed and locked behind me. We walked a few feet before Pops let his arm down and we both started just walking normal.
“How’re you holding up?” Pops asked me, looking concerned.
“Um…” I looked around. “Can we actually talk about this here? In the open?” It was late enough that there wasn’t anyone on the street, but other little houses and apartment buildings were all around, so someone still could have heard us.
“That’s not a problem with me,” Pops said, smiling.
I didn’t get it right away, but it hit me after a moment. “Oh. Are you makin’ us invisible? The scary lady said vampires could do that, but… nothin’ seems different.”
Pops raised an eyebrow. “The scary lady?”
“She didn’t tell me her name. Said she hadn’t decided if I needed to know.”
Pops nodded. “Victoria can be like that. It’s nothing personal.”
“Victoria? Okay. I’m not offended. It was just weird.”
“She has reasons. Some business. Some personal.”
I just shrugged. I was going to have to work on remembering that vampires didn’t see the world the same as humans, and Victoria… wasn’t one of the more human vampires I’d met. She seemed… okay, just not very human. Not like Pops, anyway, who seemed almost completely human. Then again, Victoria wasn’t too different from how some humans could get depending on the sort of things they believed. If she’d managed to be a vampire and not get any worse than… I don’t know, some totally human politicians or whatever, then she wasn’t that bad.
“So,” Pops said, interrupting my brain wandering off. “Tell me about Kaitlyn.”
“What?” I said. “I dunno. She’s my best friend. For a couple years or so now.”
“Just a friend?”
“We get that a lot,” I said and rolled my eyes. Not at Pops, just in general. “She makes jokes, and there’s the whole scamming drinks outa guys thing, but that’s really it. I’m not her type and, well… I’m not into girls. Um, that way. Not that I mind it, it’s just not my thing.”
“Ah,” Pops said, nodding.
I felt like I needed to say more. “She’s been actin’ a little weird since I… sorta saved her from a buncha assholes at a party we went to, but… she’ll get over it. Always does.”
Pops didn’t say anything.
“Sometimes she can be annoyin’ as hell, y’know?” I said. “And sometimes she gets way too into things. But she… well, I guess she helps keep me from gettin’ stuck in my own head.”
Pops still didn’t say anything. We kept walking for a moment, and I felt awkward. I know some people do that kind of thing when they want you to keep talking but I didn’t really have anything else to say. And yeah, some people thought me and Kaitlyn were a thing, but it wasn’t like that. I wasn’t her type, and that’s all there was. Didn’t stop people thinking there was more, but there wasn’t.
“Sounds like you’ve got a good friend there,” Pops said.
“Yeah,” I said. “We help each other deal with stuff. We’ve been through a lot between us.”
“Such as?”
“Messed up shit. Growin’ up poor. Um… the kinda shit that… can happen to girls, ‘specially girls that go to a lotta parties where there’re drugs.”
“Ah,” Pops nodded. “You must’ve had quite a difficult life.”
“Eh…” I shrugged. “Not as bad as some. Worse than others.”
“I’d be willing to hear about it,” Pops said. “If you’re willing to talk.”
“My life… um, well…” I didn’t really feel like talking about my life, but I didn’t really feel like I should just… turn down Pops. “Grew up blue collar poor. Parents did the best they could, but we never had enough money to be comfortable, really. Went to a really shitty public high school along with all the inner city kids. Managed to graduate. Went to city college, met Kaitlyn, dropped out, started goin’ to parties. Doin’ stupid shit. Wound up becomin’ a vampire.”
Pops smiled at me. “That’s an awfully simple way to describe your life.”
“Not a lot to tell unless I wanna start gettin’ into details.”
“I wouldn’t mind details.”
“Um…” I sighed. “Not tryin’ to be a pain in the ass, but I don’t really wanna talk about my life. Not right now. Maybe later, when things are… more stable?”
Pops nodded. “I understand,” he said, then smiled at me.
We didn’t say anything for a while, and I just kept feeling more awkward. We kept walking and I started sort of kicking at the sidewalk. Not because I was mad, but… for something to do. I don’t really like talking about my life. Which probably sounds like a lie since I been doing that a lot in these things, but… talking about it to someone like Pops is different. I just… would wind up feeling like the shit I’d been through was nothing compared to a lot of other people, and I was wasting someone’s time by going on about my own life. I’d rather talk about something else, but it seemed sort of like Pops was expecting me to either say more about me or change the subject. I decided to change the subject.
“So… what about you?” I said. “Don’t really know much about you.”
“Not much to tell,” Pops said. “Been around a while, but so’ve a lot of other people.”
“I dunno. Lots of… um…”
Pops smiled. “Old people.”
“Was gonna say the elderly, but yeah. Lots of old people have stories.”
By that point, we’d walked far enough to reach a park. Pops gestured to one of the benches. “May as well take a seat. If we keep walking while I talk about my story, we’d end up out of the city.”
I made a face. “If you say so…”
“Don’t like this place?” Pops asked me.
“No, it’s not that,” I said. “Well, sorta. This is the park where I got attacked the first time.” And it was. I could even see where the guy jumped me at from where we were.
“No one here now,” Pops said. “And they wouldn’t see us if there was.”
“Oh, okay,” I said. I sat down on the bench. Pops sat down next to me. We both looked up at the stars for a moment before Pops started talking.
“Well… like I said, I been around a while,” Pops looked at me. “How old do you think I am?”
I looked at Pops for a moment. “I dunno. Sixty? Somethin’ like that.”
“As a human, you’re about right,” Pops smiled. “As a vampire… I’m rather older than sixty.”
“Oh. How old then?”
Pops leaned back against the bench. “Would you believe I was born a slave?”
“Really?” I looked at him. “That’d mean you’re… um…” I knew the slaves’d been freed after the Civil War, but I couldn’t remember when it was. I reached for my phone to look it up before I remembered that I hadn’t brought it with me. Pops patted my hand.
“About a hundred and fifty years ago,” he said. “Give or take.”
“Jesus,” I said. Pops was a lot older than I thought. I mean, he felt old, but… not like that.
“I’ve been around a while,” Pops said. “Seen a lot of things. Lot of them were things I don’t particularly want to see again. Some, well… I could stand to see some things more often.”
“Wow, that must’ve really sucked,” I said, then almost kicked myself. Great job, Misty, that was really fucking insensitive. “Um, I mean…”
Pops just smiled at me.
“Sorry, I’m not tryin’ to… I just… I mean, bein’ a slave…”
“Not something I’d wish on anyone, no.”
I nodded. That’s the least I’d say, if it’d been me.
Pops looked back up at the stars and went on. “Born a slave, yes. Didn’t know my father, was sold away from my mother soon as I was old enough to survive without her.”
“Did you ever find ’em again? Your parents, I mean.”
“No,” Pops shook his head. “They probably died slaves.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That was life then. For slaves. But I didn’t die a slave. I lived as a slave, got old, and… well, one day, I decided I wasn’t going to die a slave. So I ran away. North, where there weren’t any slaves.”
I didn’t say anything. I got the feeling Pops wasn’t really looking at the stars.
“Didn’t get far before slave catchers found me. Kept running. Wound up joining a little group of runaways heading north. Thought there’d be safety in numbers.”
“Was there?”
Pops looked at his hands for a moment. “No. Made it easier to find us. About… half a dozen Confederates. Kids, really. They were going to bring us back, get a promotion.”
“How’d you get away?”
“We didn’t,” Pops kept looking at his hands. “We killed them.”
I just watched Pops. He seemed… distant, I guess. Sort of sad.
“They were just kids,” Pops said. “Thought they didn’t have to watch us overnight. So two of the other runaways and I snuck up on them. Killed three of them before they others even realized. Not proud of it, but we weren’t going back to be slaves again. Last three got wise, shot one of us three. Killed him. He wasn’t any older than the Confederates. Me and the other runaway got the last of the soldiers. I killed the leader. He was only a corporal.”
Pops didn’t say anything for a while. I didn’t either. Felt like saying anything would be interrupting whatever Pops was thinking about. So I kept my mouth shut.
“Well, after that, we got far enough north,” Pops went on eventually. “What I didn’t know was that fight with the Confederates had caught the attention of… the one that made me what I am.”
“Geez, I’m sorry,” I said.
Pops shrugged. “Long time ago. Haven’t seen him since. He told me he’d give me the power to fight anyone that tried to enslave me. Or anyone else. Didn’t know what he actually meant, so I said yes. Woke up a vampire. He and I moved on, wound up meeting up with some of the people running the Underground Railroad. You heard of them?”
“Um, yeah,” I said. “Smugglin’ escaped slaves north. Harriet Tubman.”
“Never met her,” Pops smiled. “But I wound up helping as best I could.”
“I’m bettin’ bein’… like us helped,” I said.
“Mostly,” Pops nodded. “Wound up… mostly keeping Confederates and spies from finding anyone. Or reporting back what they found. Killed a lot more people.”
“Yeah,” I said. “But they wanted to keep your people slaves.”
“Was still killing people. Most of them weren’t really evil. Just foolish. They’d been lied to and manipulated into believing the things they did. Really wasn’t their war, but they died for it.”
“That’s…” I thought a moment. “I don’t think I’ve heard that view before.”
“Most historians aren’t on the ground during wars,” Pops smiled. “Easy to think of one side or the other as evil when you never actually see them except as casualties.”
“I think I get what you mean,” I said.
Pops smiled at me again. “In any case, that’s how I fought the Civil War. And after it was over, well, there weren’t any more slaves, but we still weren’t exactly welcome. Even in the North. So… I moved around. Helped out where I could. Vampires are a bit limited when it comes to some kinds of help, but I did what I could. Gave me a reason to not greet the sun.”
“Wow,” I said. “That’s really cool. Um… not that your people were still gettin’ fucked over. But that you kept tryin’ to help out even after bein’ a vampire. And for so long. I had a friend who’dve loved to meet you. Um… except for the vampire thing.”
“Oh?” Pops seemed interested.
“Yeah,” I said. “She’d say that… slavery never really ended. It just changed names. She was, um… black. Inner city. Got really interested in that stuff because of her parents.”
“Good for her,” Pops said. “How’s she doing?”
“Dunno. Least I heard, she got a scholarship. Haven’t talked to her in a while.”
“Ah,” Pops said. “And you?”
“I… never really tried,” I said, looking away.
“Ah.” Pops didn’t say anything for a bit, then went on. “Well, after a while, the Civil Rights movement came around. I’d been… well, getting angrier every year. Seemed like America just didn’t really want us around, even after we’d been freed. Like nothing had really changed. But I heard Martin Luther King speak and… I held myself back. Wanted to see if peaceful rebellion would work.”
I sighed. “Then they killed him.”
Pops spent some time looking at his hands before he spoke. “Then they killed him. That… was the end of my hopes for a peaceful change. I felt as if we were back in the war again.”
“Don’t blame you,” I said. “Things were pretty shitty then for you guys.”
“Mmmhmm,” Pops said. “So… I went and found the Nation of Islam.”
I frowned. “Weren’t they… sorta violent?”
“Yes. And racist. But I was angry, and I wanted to fight with my own hands.”
“I see,” I said. “I’m not judgin’ you. I’d be pretty mad, too.”
Pops smiled at me. “I never really bought into that part of the message. Too much like the people I’d been fighting during the Civil War years. And I couldn’t really join anyway. But… I could help out in other ways. Deal with some of their enemies quietly.”
“I understand.”
Pops looked back up at the stars. “I think a lot of it was Malcolm X. I heard him preach a couple times, and… he spoke to my anger. So I suppose I followed him, but not the Nation.”
“Um…” I said. This probably wasn’t the best thing to say, but I felt like I had to say it. “You don’t really seem like… what I’ve heard those people were like. No offense.”
“None taken” Pops smiled at me. “And I’m not. People change. Most people. Eventually.”
“Why’d you change?”
“Well… Malcolm X broke with the Nation. Started seeing things differently. Decided that hate wasn’t the way to fix things for us,” Pops paused. “Then the Nation killed him.”
I didn’t say anything for a while. “That must’ve… really hurt,” I finally said.
“It did,” Pops nodded at me. “Made me angry. I was here and not Manhattan, and it happened during the afternoon anyway, but I still felt like I could’ve done something if I’d been there. I almost started going after members of the Nation here in the city. Almost.”
“What stopped you?”
Pops looked at me for a while. “They were kids. They weren’t evil, just foolish. They’d been lied to and manipulated into believing the things they did.”
I just stared at Pops. I… sort of thought I could understand why he didn’t start killing off members of the Nation, but… I just couldn’t get a grip on all of it. Everything Pops had seen in his life. Sure as hell couldn’t come up with anything to say that didn’t sound… stupid. Sometimes it’s like… someone’s been through something that makes the shit you have to deal with feel small. Didn’t help that I also knew my Dad’s side of the family was probably some of the people that’d been making things shitty for Pops and his people. I mean, Uncle Joe… well, Uncle Joe was probably too stupid to really manage to make life shitty for anyone except himself, least after the divorce, but still.
Pops just smiled at me like he knew what I was thinking. Which he probably did. I hadn’t forgotten him saying I think too loud, and Victoria said mind reading is something vampires can do. Not really invading when my mind was shouting at him, you know? Think it’d be more like having to plug your ears. Um… in your brain. Or whatever.
“So that’s me,” Pops said eventually. “Still think of me the same?”
“Hell no,” I said. “Well, I mean… I still like you. Um… and you still seem pretty fuckin’ human for a vampire. ‘Specially an old one. And it’s… seriously impressive. What you’ve done. Makes sense why no one wants to mess with you, I mean, I wouldn’t wanna fuck with someone like you…” I trailed off. I was babbling, and maybe telling Pops he was sort of scary wasn’t a good idea.
“Am I really that frightening?” Pops didn’t seem offended. He just smiled at me.
I thought for a bit. “Well… no. Not to me. Just like… well, like I said, someone I wouldn’t wanna fuck with. But… I think I can see why some people would be scared of you.”
“Some are,” Pops shrugged. “Mostly the ones who should be. Helps keep them from doing things that would make me do the things they’re scared of.”
“No kiddin’.”
Pops grinned at me. “That’s been more talking about me than I do in a decade. How about we talk about you some? I did ask you out here to talk, after all.”
I looked away. Got to be honest, I felt like my problems were pretty damn small now. Not that I thought Pops was trying to make me feel like that. I do that all by myself.
“I’m… my problems aren’t that big a deal,” I said, looking down and picking at my hoodie.
“It’s okay,” Pops said. “I did ask.”
“Um, well…” I hesitated. “I guess it’s sorta stupid to be embarrassed, since you asked. Um… vampire stuff. That’s a big one. Gettin’ used to it. Kaitlyn stuff. Job stuff.”
“I’m happy to listen.”
I thought about it for a bit. I wasn’t really ready to talk about the vampire stuff. I mean… Victoria told me a lot of things, and Pops had helped me, so… really, it was mostly just me trying to get my head around what I knew. But there was other stuff, and I figured I could use some advice.
“Well…” I said. “Okay. So… I kinda lost my old job. ’Cause it was the afternoon shift. And… I’m okay for now, but I didn’t have a lotta savings, and Kaitlyn can’t make rent by herself. So I’m gonna hafta do somethin’ about it. And I’m not sure what to do.”
“Did you try finding another job?” Pops asked.
“Sorta. I called up my old boss and… the only thing he has open for the night shift is…” I swallowed. Hard to say it to someone like Pops. “… um… a dancer.”
“A dancer?”
“Um… stripper.”
Pops nodded. “And you don’t want to work as a… dancer.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “I’m… not really comfortable with the idea. I mean, I’m not judgin’ the girls who do that. That’s their thing, and if they’re happy doin’ it, whatever. But, um, it’s… not my thing.”
“And you’d like my advice?”
“Yeah.”
Pops thought for a moment, looking up at the stars. “Okay. Well… my advice is that you don’t have to be what the world tries to make you be. Not if you don’t want to.”
“Yeah, but…”
Pops patted me on the shoulder. “Think about it. I know you’ll find an answer.”
Well, I was glad Pops thought I could figure it out, but I didn’t feel like I had a really good record on that sort of thing. Seemed like most of my fixes for problems just caused more problems. So I wasn’t sure I could fix this one, too. But if Pops thought I could… maybe I could manage something.
“Thanks, Pops,” I said. “I really mean it. Things are still pretty shitty, but… I feel like maybe I can make ’em less shitty. At least a little.”
“Less shitty is better than nothing,” Pops said.
“Yeah…” I looked up at the stars for a little while myself. Then I sighed. Pops raised an eyebrow at me. “Left my phone at home,” I said. “Kaitlyn’s prob’ly gonna be worried. If she’s still awake. I should prob’ly head back so she doesn’t come lookin’ for me or somethin’.”
“That’s fine,” Pops said. “You want me to walk you home?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine to walk back by myself. Need to think, anyway.”
“Alright,” Pops said. “You take care, okay?”
“I will. And thanks again.”
I stood up to leave, then turned around and gave Pops a hug. He hugged me back, then patted my shoulder. “Go along home. Don’t make Kaitlyn worry too much about you.”
“Alright,” I said. “You take care too.”
I let go of the hug, then turned and walked away. A little later, I looked back, and Pops was still sitting on the bench, looking up at the sky. He really didn’t seem like a vampire at all, you know? Then I headed back home. Can’t say I got a lot of thinking done. Felt like stuff just kept going around in circles in my head. But I felt better. Like maybe if someone like Pops had held onto bein’ human for so long, that maybe I could manage it too. And that felt good. Still had a lot of shit to deal with, but it didn’t seem as… huge and horrible as before.
Even being chewed out by Kaitlyn for leaving my phone at home wasn’t so bad. It felt… normal. Like a human thing. Don’t know how to explain it. In any case, Kaitlyn didn’t yell at me for long, and ended up being in a better mood too, when I told her what I could of what me and Pops had talked about. Eventually. The idea of Pops being as old as he was sort of bugged her for a bit, but she got over it. She went to bed, and I hung out for a while, until dawn. Actually went to sleep in my closet in a decent mood. Yeah, I hadn’t fixed things, but it seemed like maybe I actually could. That sort of feeling is kind of rare when you’re a vampire, so you got to take your wins where you can.
