Shadowrun: Rebecca McKay
I can be Cyberpunk too.
(For those that don’t know the format, I’m attempting to recreate the “main file plus comments” style of a lot of the Shadowrun books. Everything in bold is the mail file itself. Everything with a > in front of it is a comment from someone other than the “author.” It also includes some setting-specific slang.)
There are those who are born into privilege, there are those born into fame, and there are those born into a life of hardship and strife. I am one of the latter, and my name is Rebecca Montrose.
> Is there an admin around I can talk to?
> Tetsundere
Born to a life in the shadows, my one solace was the gift of Awakening,
> Okay, seriously, if an admin sees this, I’m the person this is talking about, but I didn’t write it, and I’d really appreciate if an admin could delete this. Thanks.
> Tetsundere
a gift I possessed since birth which, had things been otherwise, would have aided my rise above the base state in which I began. However, as is so with much in this grand penance called life, it was not to be.
> Did you write this, Atticus? This drek sounds like Atticus. The creep.
> Tetsundere
> Methinks I sense an old boyfriend?
> NetWizBang
> He wishes.
> Tetsundere
I know not what cruel twist of fate led me to this point,
> It was a grenade. Two go-gangers were racing down the street throwing grenades at each other and one landed in the lap of three year old me.
> Tetsundere
but my gift and nearly my life were torn from me as, lacking any other options, I was forced to trade my broken and charred flesh for cold, uncaring steel. But I survived.
> Okay, my dad thinks I should just correct this instead of expecting an admin who doesn’t owe me any favors to delete it, so… yeah, I guess that’s what I’m going to do.
> Tetsundere
> I’ll grab some popcorn.
> Admin
> Oh, now you show up.
> Tetsundere
My gift barely preserved my life, bolstered by the techniques of an ancient art of combat from the darkest orient, long thought lost to the mortal world.
> Also known as taekwondo, or hapkido if you want to be picky. One of the most common martial arts in the mortal world. Sahyun Trevor was an Adept, yeah, but still.
> Tetsundere
But even cold cage of my metal body could not repress the maiden’s pure heart that still beats beneath my steel bosom.
> My bosom is polycarbonate, which you’d know if I’d ever let you touch it, you creep.
> Tetsundere
> That’s kind of hot.
> Brogrammer9000
> Creep.
> Tetsundere
And so it was, enduring the tribulations of a life lived as a passionate woman trapped in the body of a machine, until one fresh new day in spring, when…
> Okay, I’m actually going to cut this off here. All questions of style and taste aside (“nubile” does not have an adverb form, among other issues), this “Atticus” person goes on for terapulses about the subject’s alleged amorous adventures with a “devilishly handsome technomancer” conveniently also named Atticus. I don’t normally condone censorship, but in this case, Tetsundere’s complaint is enough reason to spare the Matrix yet more terrible self-insert porn fic.
> Admin
> Thank you.
> Tetsundere
> “Self-insert” nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
> NetWizBang
> Can I get a copy of the original file? For research purposes.
> TechWeasel
> No.
> Tetsundere
> No.
> Admin
> Fragging technomancers.
> Brogrammer9000
> Excuse me?
> Matrixie
> You heard mMRRDDDGGGGGG!!!!1111111[MESSAGE REDACTED]
> Brogrammer9000
> User Brogrammer9000 has logged off.
> What’d you do to him?
> NetWizBang
> You’re too young to know.
> Matrixie
> So, what’s really going on, Tetsundere?
> Tinker_Belle
> Yes, I think you should present the facts of your situation.
> Admin
> Okay, um… well, yes, I’m mostly machine. That grenade didn’t leave a whole lot of me, and organic replacements are way more expensive, and by the time I was old enough to understand the difference, I was used to having a metal body. My parents are retired shadowrunners, and they could get at least basic chrome for me, and it sort of went from there.
> Tetsundere
> Isn’t putting chrome in kids illegal?
> NetWizBang
> Not for prosthetic purposes, plus shadowrunners. Do pay attention.
> TinMan2070
> But you’re also an Adept?
> Tinker_Belle
> Yeah. That’s why I’m still alive, actually. Some Adept thing kicked in and kept me from bleeding to death. Can still do it, but I obviously try not to need to.
> Tetsundere
> I feel sorry for you.
> Tinker_Belle
> Don’t. This is who I am. Having a metal body doesn’t make me any less human.
> Tetsundere
> Chip truth.
> TinMan2070
> Anything else you’d like to clear up?
> Admin
> Um… I guess. That creep Atticus hung around for a week or so at my parents’ bar. Followed me around. Called me his muse or some drek. Finally stopped when one of my mom’s drones chased him down the street for a mile or two. Other than that… I don’t know. I’m just a normal girl. As normal as you can be living in the slums with… everything else, that is. I like normal things. Um… music, anime, clothes…
> Tetsundere
> This isn’t a dating site.
> Admin
> Right, sorry.
> Tetsundere
> Is this the Q and A portion?
> NetWizBang
> Um… I guess.
> Tetsundere
> I’ll go first. You said you have a cybernetic body, right?
> TechWeasel
> Yeah.
> Tetsundere
> What’re your measurements? For research purposes.
> TechWeasel
> User TechWeasel has logged off.
> User TechWeasel has been banned.
> Censorship, admin?
> TinMan2070
> He was rude, and was sniffing around trying to get into places he shouldn’t have been. Likely after an unredacted copy of this file for “research purposes.”
> Admin
> Thanks again.
> Tetsundere
> Do you speak Japanese?
> BlueDragonTakeda
> A little. Why?
> Tetsundere
> Your name.
> BlueDragonTakeda
> Um, well… “tetsu” is iron, “tsundere” is angry/sweet, so I thought tetsundere could mean… iron/sweet? Or something like that…
> Tetsundere
> It stinks of weeaboo.
> BlueDragonTakeda
> And you don’t? Go harass kids on an anime board if you want to judge.
> TinMan2070
> I think I will.
> BlueDragonTakeda
> User BlueDragonTakeda has logged off.
> I’d ask some questions, but they’d all be about technical specs. I’d bore everyone else to death, and you might not be able to answer them. No offence.
> Tinker_Belle
> Actually, cybertech is a hobby of mine, and I started being the one choosing upgrades when I turned sixteen. But my dad’s a decker, and he said not to share that sort of information on the Matrix. I’d rather not have my body hacked. No offense.
> Tetsundere
> None taken.
> Tinker_Belle
> Life saved by dead chrome,
Her soul lives in the machine.
Transhumanism.
> CODEX
> Drek.
> Admin
> [FILE LOCKED]
