Why I Love Lemons:
Go with the flow, embrace the light,
every little thing is gonna be alright.
Let it go, or just let it be,
Hakuna Matata, live worry-free!
This might be the first time you’ve seen a short poem crafted from the traditional sayings and the lyrics of Bob Marley, Frozen, The Beatles, and Timon & Pumbaa. I’m a bit proud of my little work of art. However, let’s focus on the underlying message of these sayings — the idea of embracing both your inner and outer worlds just as they are.
Everyday Adventures: Lessons from Planes, Cars, and Kids
Three weeks ago, we were flying on vacation with our kids. The plane was on the runway, the safety briefing was over, and… nothing happened for an hour. We couldn’t start. Children were spinning, we were getting nervous. All snacks were already gone. I could have heroically stormed into the cockpit, but that would have probably ruined the whole vacation. We needed to stay and simply wait. Nothing more.
Or imagine this: A few weeks ago, I was waiting for a car inspection. Good news — it was over in 20 minutes. Amazing news — I found out my car tires were worn out and the brake discs needed replacing. Wow, thank you, universe. Not sure if there are any kidneys left for sale.
Last scene: Having kids, you find yourself astonished at how vulnerable your body is to someone sneezing into your eyeballs. Apparently, we aren’t that invincible. You get sick a lot. And there are these specific occasions when you get sick, your spouse gets sick, and both of your children get sick — all at the same time. Funnily, kids bounce back faster than you and then demand full-time entertainment while you battle with the reaper. Well, I guess those lemons were not given to me by life but rather launched at me.
Looking back, these situations were not catastrophic. But they felt like life was giving me bitter lemons, and I was clueless about how to handle them or if I had any options at all.
One of the significant lessons I’ve learned in recent years is that it’s alright to simply accept those bitter lemons. This acceptance is not a sign of quitting; instead, it is a sign of recognizing that things happen — both good and bad. And that’s fine. That’s how the universe works. Acceptance enables a clear evaluation of my situation, and the choice to act rather than avoid.But it’s not as easy to do as it is to write. I keep learning.
Embracing Emotions: The Inner Universe
But there is more. I started to learn more about myself. Apparently, there is a huge universe within me. Let’s get emotional.
Over time, I had to learn that all emotions are okay. I feel a lot — it can be my work, it can be my personal life, but it can also be a piece of music or a movie. And it’s okay to feel sadness while listening to the soundtrack of “Les Choristes” or watching Simba lose his father. And It’s okay to feel anxiety when trying to learn how to ride a longboard. It’s okay to feel disappointment over certain actions your friend has taken or shame about things you’ve done or said. It’s ok to feel bittersweet about how quickly time passes.
Essentially, we’re tiny chemistry labs with legs and issues. Feelings are complicated things that happen in our brains and bodies. Chemicals like adrenaline, cortisol, dopamine, and serotonin are also involved in making and changing these feelings. Why this brief introduction? Because there’s nothing wrong with emotions. They are biological, and we can’t ignore them. Emotions are part of us, embedded in our inner world. We can’t control them. We shouldn’t control them.
From childhood, society begins to stigmatize our emotions. High-visibility emotions like anger or anxiousness, and our reactions to them, might make parents, friends, or spouses uncomfortable — but all of them are okay. Sadness or shame doesn’t make you any less valid as a part of society. Disclaimer: It’s important to clarify — feeling anger is okay. However, it’s not okay to drive your car into the office because the meeting you are going to attend could have been an email. As mentioned in previous article, we decide how to react, but we don’t decide how we feel.
Integrating Acceptance: Bringing Pieces Together
It doesn’t matter if we are talking about the world around you or the world within you — we must learn to accept both as they are. You will face things you can’t change. And that’s okay. As commonly stated — you can’t change the wind, but you can set sails. You are responsible for how to react or prepare yourself better for the next time.
And I had to learn, name, and accept my emotions. It made me vulnerable, yes. But I’ve learned that emotions are part of me. Bby ignoring them, I’m not only ignoring an important and significant part of myself but also weakening myself. So often, I tell my daughter that it’s okay if she feels anger in her stomach or sadness in her eyes; little does she know how often I have this dialogue with myself.
Through this entire process, I’m discovering that some things are in my control, and some are not. I suppose it’s a lifelong journey with a lot of mistakes to be made. That’s life. By acknowledging it, I found a lot of peace for myself.
Your Takeaway: Transforming Lemons into Life Lessons
There was an amazing quote I read and loved:
Think of your mind like a pond full of fish and each fish is a feeling.
Try to be the pond, not the fish.
For a long time, I wasn’t aware of, or even ignored, some fish in my pond. It might help you to discover yours. I learned a lot about emotions from my daughter’s child book on emotions. In the beginning, I had to learn all the names! There are more of them besides anger, sadness, and happiness, like excitement, anxiety, compassion, confusion, gratitude, or pride. I also enjoyed the book “Big Feelings” as well as “No Hard Feelings.” These books contain amazing illustrations and talk about emotions in everyday life.
Life will give you lemons. For sure, you will have time to make lemonade or sometimes even a whisky sour might be necessary. But be aware — it’s okay just to keep them sometimes. In recent years, the teachings of Stoicism have seen a revival, thanks in part to the work of Ryan Holiday. Stoicism teaches us to accept that there are things we can’t change and to focus on living according to our values and principles. I can really recommend reading “The Daily Stoic” by Ryan Holiday. It offers great insights into accepting life’s unpredictability.
A simple habit I have: No matter what happens, I try to say “well, okay” or “good” or something else that shows that I accepted the universe’s message. It may seem silly, but for me, it helps a lot to admit the situation. Now, I can decide how to think and act.
Conclusion
I was watching the book adaptation of “Shogun” the other day and was struck by a dialogue where a follower asks the hero what it’s like to control the wind. The hero says,
I don’t control the wind, I only study it.
Life will always have its unpredictable twists, and our emotions will ebb and flow like the wind. Instead of trying to control everything, we must learn to accept it and navigate these changes with a certain grace and understanding.
Being a good human starts with knowing ourselves, including our emotions. Emotions are more than temporary sensations; they are our internal advisors, showing us what we are going through and how we respond. By acknowledging, naming, and accepting these emotions, we become more in harmony with ourselves and better equipped to handle life’s challenges.
Embrace life with a mindful heart. Recognize that you can’t control everything. This realization has given me a lot of inner peace I desperately needed. And acceptance doesn’t mean passivity. It means recognizing reality as it is. It’s about being present and engaged in the moment and understanding that while you can’t control everything, there are also a lot of things you can shape. Once we can see clearly, we can take responsibility and adjust our course. This approach can bring a sense of calm and strength, helping you cope with anything you face on your path.
Take a deep breath, accept the lemons, and move forward with confidence and responsibility. You have the power to cope with whatever life launches your way and the ability to make meaningful changes when you can. And if you don’t believe me, listen to Bob Marley, Frozen, the Beatles, or at least Timon & Pumbaa:
Go with the flow, embrace the light,
every little thing is gonna be alright.
Let it go, or just let it be,
Hakuna Matata, live worry-free!
Reflection on My Writing Experience
The main article ends here. In the following, I keep sharing some thoughts on the feedback I received from people who read my article, as well as personal insights on how to improve my writing.
How do I get ready? I find it helpful to write down everything that comes to my mind for the first draft, without worrying about grammar or spelling errors. This gives me a rough version that I can edit later, but it stops me from being too critical of my own text.
How do I write? I learned from some articles about the power of white spaces. This is the first time I try to experiment with paragraphs and even one-liners. It helps me to simplify my own complicated thoughts and I hope to make the reading easier.
How do I post on Medium? I want to know more about how to engage with the community. I just found out about Zoom calls to write together. But I’m still a beginner. Also, I want to publish more frequently. Even with family and work commitments, I want to learn to post at least once a week. Little by little!
