Wegovy 20: The Starter Boyfriend
This is the twentieth in a continuing series about my experience with the weight-loss drug Wegovy, which is similar to Ozempic.
In my last installment, I talked about getting back on the dating horse. Now I’m going to tell you about my boyfriend. Make that my starter boyfriend.
When I embarked upon my dating adventure, I made sure I had a good therapist and friend network in place because nobody should date without support. (Trust me on this.)
My therapist gave me advice that shaped my dating approach: (1) Men take terrible photos so be generous in my assessment, (2) Men also don’t run their profiles past anyone, so I should consider overlooking the bad jokes and typos, and (3) I need to cast a wide net and date more than one person to speed up my chances of meeting The One.
With this mindset I accepted a date from Daniel, a moderately attractive man 13 years older than me. He picked an upscale restaurant close to my home and made reservations for an early Sunday dinner.
The first thing I noticed about Daniel was his neck. His otherwise surprisingly handsome face featured a receding chin from which hung a long flap of skin to his collarbone (think Matthew Perry but much, much worse). From the front, however, the neck wasn’t entirely noticeable, and I thought Daniel looked rather dapper, being tall and well dressed.
Daniel and I had a great time. We had much in common, and I found him funny, articulate, and attentive. He paid the check without a moment’s hesitation, walked me back to my car, and asked to see me again, to which I gladly agreed.
Our next date was even better. Daniel arranged for us to have dinner at a hip restaurant with music and we enjoyed an evening of laughter and an easy conversation that revealed our shared values, political viewpoints, and a desire for a long-term, committed relationship. At the end of the evening, Daniel asked to kiss me, and I said yes. No man — other than my dentist — had touched me in several years and I welcomed the contact. It was good.
We met several more times and when — on Valentine’s Day — Daniel asked me to “go steady” I agreed. This meant we were going to have sex. Daniel and I had done quite a bit of making out and he’d made sexual promises to me that I fully intended to cash in on. Sex was something I’d sorely missed, and I was ready to party.
So, you can imagine my disappointment — and his mortification — when Daniel couldn’t, er, rise to the occasion. Apparently, he’d had performance issues in the past, and, if he’d told me, it would have been no big deal — that’s what pills are for — but because of how he’d presented himself, I felt tricked. After the failed act, we had an honest conversation about it, and Daniel admitted he’d been too embarrassed to tell me about his erectile issues. I told him to go get a prescription, which he did and it worked.
That problem got solved but others didn’t. Like Daniel’s loud snoring. Like the $3,000-a-month alimony payment to his ex-wife of 10 years … that was going to occur for the rest of her life. Like our 13-year age difference.
Like the fact that I could never get past Daniel’s neck, which makes me feel and sound shallow AF but it is, unfortunately, the truth. If I looked at Daniel 200 times … 200 times I noticed his neck. I had conversations in my head about treatments he could get (they can really do amazing things with Botox) and beat myself up regularly that his neck even bothered me … which didn’t make it bother me any less. Eventually I learned that I can’t make something not bother me if it bothers me. And Daniel’s neck bothered me a lot.
In the end, we just had too many incompatibilities to forge a successful long-term relationship and I ended it after three months. (No, I did not break up with him solely over his neck … but that certainly didn’t help things.)
Overall, my relationship with Daniel was a very good experience. He was a nice man who treated me well and I believe I was kind and generous to him. I learned that some relationships are not meant to last for a lifetime, but they bring experiences we need to have. That’s why I call Daniel my starter boyfriend — he wasn’t the man with whom I would spend years, but he brought me lessons I needed to learn. I don’t regret him for one second.
Onward and upward.
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