Wegovy 4: I binged on this weight-loss drug.
This is the fourth in a continuing series about my experience with the weight-loss drug Wegovy, which is similar to Ozempic.
I’ve been on Wegovy for about two weeks and things are going well. My body has adjusted so I no longer feel daily nausea and I’m experiencing good energy.
My biggest complaint is that my mid-section is bloated. To be fair, I’ve been binge-eating on flour and sugar approximately twice a week, off and on (but mostly on), for five years so how much of the blame I can place on Wegovy I’m not sure. I feel “puffy” all the time and I don’t like it.
Bloating, however, is a small price to pay for the huge benefit of Wegovy: I have significant relief from relentless, uncontrollable, and rabid food cravings. I simply don’t want to binge every minute of every day. I still get very hungry between meals and I think about food all the time, but I have control over whether or not I binge. It’s a miracle.
Until it isn’t.
I wrote in my last entry that I am an emotional eater. Wegovy or no Wegovy, I am still going to want to eat when I am upset or angry and no drug is going to cure that.
Most days I work from home, but during this particular week, I have an in-person meeting with my boss (let’s just call her “Karen”). The word “toxic” is barely adequate to describe the dysfunction of Karen, so let me put it this way: in my 19-year career with my current employer, Karen is the worst manager I’ve had … and that’s saying a lot.
Karen’s management style is to berate, scold, lecture, make bad decisions, rally her troops … and then disappear. Rarely do things go well for me when I interact with Karen, and today is no different. I leave our meeting furious, frustrated, unheard, scolded and feeling crazy because she’s gaslit me so badly. She is just a terrible, terrible manager.
I leave the office and head straight for the grocery store.
My head is spinning so badly I barely comprehend what I’m doing as I pack my shopping cart full of ice cream, cookies and whipped topping. I go home and tear through the food, just like always, eating at this woman I despise, and feeling the shame, confusion, and anger that comes with a dysfunctional work environment, despite me having called Human Resources many times.
And what’s worse is that I hate myself. I hate myself for letting her get to me, for being “weak” and hurting myself over a hateful person who just hurt me. I eat it all and then I lie down on my bed and pass out.
The next day, I am sick. Like thank-God-I-work-from-home sick. My tongue is thick and I am severely dehydrated and nauseated as if I have food poisoning. I can only assume that Wegovy is for food addicts what Antabuse is for alcoholics — a deterrent drug that will make you severely ill if you engage in your substance. Well, that is has done because I normally not sick like this after a binge.
I still have food in the house, so once the nausea has subsided, I finish the rest and binge off-and-on for the next three days, barely getting my work done. The nausea doesn’t stop me from eating, which just goes to show you: an eating disorder is a very, very complicated disease and no one tool is going to “fix” it.
After the binge cycle is over, I pick myself up, both literally and figuratively. I throw out the wrappers, get some exercise, plan my meals, call my friends and drink water. I’m not going to let this lapse deter me or stop me from continuing my Wegovy treatment. Onward and upward as they say.
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