30-Day Personal Growth Challenge: Cultivate Positive Habits — Day 8
A very important habit that most of us badly need in the current times.
Topic for Day-8 as a part of this 30-Day Personal Growth Challenge is to “Practice Positive Self-Talk”.
It was just yesterday when my neighbor was venting out frustrations of her life and I heard her uttering phrases about herself like — “I’m such a failure” or “I just can’t do anything right”?
Have you too caught yourself or others saying things like this?
If so, then that is an example of what we call as ‘Negative Self-Talk’.
It is basically the internal dialogue that makes you feel bad about yourself.
And not only can it have a harmful impact on your mental health and well-being, but it can also limit your potential for personal growth as you might avoid taking on any new challenges or opportunities in life.
Fortunately, you can change the way you talk to yourself by practicing ‘Positive Self-Talk’.
This is the opposite of negative self-talk.
Having a positive dialogue with yourself makes you feel good about yourself, your abilities and also positively impacts the situation you’re in.
It helps you cope with stress and motivates you to move forward to achieve your goals.
It allows you to learn from your mistakes, embrace new experiences and celebrate your achievements as you start to grow personally!
But the key question is,
How do you practice Positive Self-Talk?
Here are some tips and examples to help you get started:
Tip #1: Identify and challenge your negative thoughts.
Become aware of your negative thoughts and how they affect you.
Pay attention to your self-talk throughout the day especially when you face a difficult or stressful situation. Notice what you say to yourself, how you feel and how you behave in return.
And don’t stop at that!
Go ahead and challenge your negative thoughts by asking yourself questions like:
- Is this thought true, or is it based on assumptions or emotions?
- Is this thought helpful, or is it hindering me from achieving my goals?
- Is this thought realistic, or is it exaggerated or distorted?
- Is this thought fair, or is it too critical?
- How would I talk to a friend who had this thought?
When you question your negative thoughts, you expose your flaws to yourself and replace them with more positive and rational ones.
For example, if you have any negative thought like — “I’m such a failure”, then pull yourself out of your situation and challenge it by asking yourself:
(mostly your answers might be somewhat similar to the ones highlighted in Bold Black!)
- Is this thought true, or is it based on assumptions or emotions? No, this thought is not true. It is based on my emotions of disappointment and frustration. I have succeeded in many things in my life and one setback does not make me a failure.
- Is this thought helpful, or is it hindering me from achieving my goals? No, it is not helping. It makes me feel hopeless and discouraged. And prevents me from learning from my mistakes and trying again.
- Is this thought realistic, or is it exaggerated or distorted? No, this thought is not realistic. It ignores all the positive aspects of my situation and focuses only on the negative ones. It also generalizes one specific event to my whole life and identity.
- Is this thought fair, or is it too harsh or critical? No, this thought is critical as it judges me based on unrealistic standards and expectations. It also does not acknowledge my efforts and achievements.
- How would I talk to a friend who had this thought? I would talk to a friend with compassion and encouragement. I would remind them of their strengths and accomplishments and help them see the positive side of their situation. I would support them to overcome their challenges and pursue their goals. (Well, this is what I did with my neighbor after she vented out :))
Tip #2: Use affirmations and compliments.
A great way to practice positive self-talk is to use affirmations and compliments.
Affirmations are basically statements that express your positive qualities and achievements. You can use them to reinforce your personal growth as you can acknowledge your progress and celebrate your success.
Say it out loud to yourself, write them down or repeat them in your mind.
The key is to use affirmations that are specific, realistic and meaningful to you!
For example, some affirmations you can use are (fill in the blank!):
- I am proud of myself for __________.
- I have the skills and abilities to __________.
- I am grateful for the opportunity to __________.
- I did a great job of __________.
- I have learned a lot from __________.
- I am confident and capable of __________.
- I have overcome many challenges and obstacles to __________.
- I am making positive changes in my life by __________.
- I am worthy of respect and appreciation for __________.
- I am happy and excited about __________.
Tip #3: Use positive language and tone.
Use words and expressions that convey a positive attitude and emotion.
It helps you to create a more hopeful outlook, to reduce stress and anxiety and also to improve your relationships.
It also allows you to cope with uncertainty and change and communicate more effectively.
Some examples of such positive expressions are:
- Instead of saying “I can’t do this”, say “I can do this” or “I can learn how to do this” (Make it positive rather than negative!).
- Instead of saying “I’m doing okay”, say “I’m doing well” or “I’m doing better than before” (Make it specific rather than vague!).
- Instead of saying “Things will get better”, say “I will make things better” or “I will work on improving things” (Make it active rather than passive!).
- Instead of saying “This is a problem”, say “This is a challenge” or “This is an opportunity” (Be solution-oriented rather than problem-oriented!).
- Instead of saying “I have to do this”, say “I choose to do this” or “I want to do this” (Be empowering rather than limiting!).
So, we see now that when you practice positive self-talk, it triggers you to change the way you think, feel and act.
In return, it creates a more positive and fulfilling life for yourself.
Remember, you are the only person who can hear your self-talk, so make sure it is positive and supportive.
The way you talk to yourself can make a big difference in your life, in your personal growth, so start practicing positive self-talk today by choosing one or more of above listed strategies, apply them to your daily life and see the results for yourself.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!
I hope you enjoyed reading this post and drop in your claps if you too are a positive self-talker like me :)
Save this post for your future use so you can come back to it anytime in life when you need some motivation and inspiration to act differently!
And do share it with your friends and family, you never know who might be in need of this today.
If you’re landing on this post for the first time, then follow me on medium as we explore topics on personal growth and cover another habit in my next post as a part of this 30-Day Personal Growth Challenge series.
Until then, Talk Positively and Grow :)
P.S. Check out the Day-7 habit for your personal growth on the link here in case you missed reading it!
