Here’s Why I Don’t Sympathize with the Cheated-On Spouse
You put your partner on a pedestal
Let’s get right into it.
You ignored the red flags.
We all know how to distinguish a relationship that has missed a beat from one that has lost its 'spark.’
Partners will relive old memories and give grace to their significant other every time they are faced with In-Your-Face Tangible cheating evidence.
Tommy/Mary would never.
That's what most say, or I guess, repeatedly tell themselves to the point where they believe it.
Ripping off the band aid, cheating spouses understand the immense love, respect, loyalty, trust and admiration their partner usually has for them.
Putting them on a pedestal causes more harm and paints you out as desperate. Let’s not even talk about how it shines a light on your low self-esteem.
You’re the PRIZE, not your partner. They’re honored to be with you not vice-versa.
Cheating spouses usually hold more power in the relationship because of this 'knight in shining armor' aspect their partner places on them.
They then use every opportunity to capitalize on that soft spot you outwardly and boldly wear on your sleeve.
If you give them flowers for bad behavior, even when it’s not due, you’ll end up going down this path.
I am not advocating for bad behavior, but we rarely look in the mirror and question ourselves.
We get so caught up on crying wolf and pointing fingers rather than self-reflecting on habits or words that may have fostered such behavior.
To the cheated-on spouse, I am deeply sorry. The pain, emotional turmoil and questioning of one’s self-worth. This is a hard pill to swallow.
You will get through this. The golden rule is NEVER CHOOSE TO IGNORE THE RED FLAGS.
John doesn't talk about his feelings or work drama with me anymore.
Mary rarely kisses me goodnight before rolling over to her side at bedtime.
As soon as such complaints develop, address the elephant in the room or leave the relationship.
Stop blaming yourself when you get cheated on.
You don’t have to punish yourself or take blame for your partner’s actions. Some people are selfish and find cheating to be ‘natural’.
Their beliefs and values may never change regardless of how loving and amazing their partner turns out to be.
Always remember that you did the best you could do under whatever circumstances they put you through. You are not solely responsible for what happened, the 100 percent blame game shouldn’t rest heavy with the victim.
Give credit to the good and bad behavior exercised by both parties.
You were never designed to change them and you need to forgive yourself for giving it a try.
If you have forgiven your ex, extend the same grace to yourself.
Thank you for reading. Follow for more enlightening articles.
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