Single but In A Relationship: Meaning and Signs
#2 . You are insecure and feel inadequate.
It must be a scary, sad and confusing experience to find out youâre single while in a relationship.
A few sneaky elements will expose your dilemma, only so that you can fully realize youâre dating yourself.
Single in a relationship meaning?
A relationship is two-way traffic. You both give 100% to make it work.
You stick through stormy and windy situations because of your undying and unconditional love for one another.
What happens when one partner gives their all while the other shamefully receives?
What happens when you do couple stuff together but arenât actually an item?
What does it mean to be single but in a relationship?
Being single in a relationship means you get to do âcouple stuffâ together but you donât get to declare yourself single.
Your partner may purposefully cling on to you but refuse to define the relationship leaving you one foot in and one foot out the door.
This is a selfish move because youâre expected to give your all towards the relationshipâs success regardless of your partnerâs feelings or efforts.
There is a fundamental difference between selfless and selfish love.
As with all matters of the heart, you eventually feel drained, lost and rejected in the long run.
Your partner will occasionally throw a bone of interest, affection or concern towards you but this isnât normal in your day-to-day life.
The self-sacrificing partner invests more time, energy and sometimes money to keep the relationship afloat.
Eventually they are left wonderingâŚ
âWhy do I feel single in this relationship?â
âWhy do I feel something is missing in this connection? â
Well, itâs pretty clear because you arenât like ânormal couplesâ working towards the same goal.
You both have decided to settle for the bare minimum as long as your âneedsâ are met.
Itâs safe to say that this is a one-sided relationship. When you are in such a partnership, you carry the relationship for a long time, sometimes even for the entirety of your life.
Due to the lack of meaningful connection, consistency, and constructive conflict, the relationship lacks balance and equal reciprocity.
Itâs overwhelming for the self-sacrificing partner to manage the relationship when both partners must flower their rose garden. Relationships should be your safe harbor and not a constant project that demands all your efforts.
Healthy relationships sound like:
âWe rely on one another.â
âWe have our expectations met.â
âOur relationship is stable.â
Life becomes easier when you shoulder the burden.
Spending time out on dates, gifting your partner and engaging in physical intimacy arenât components of a healthy and successful relationship.
In such a relationship youâre doing all the relationship stuff. However, it can fill the void of emotional, mental and spiritual connection needed towards nurturing a strong and meaningful connection.
For example,
Youâre single but canât flirt with others.
Your partner doesnât confide in you and youâre not expected or allowed to share your hopes, dreams and fears with anyone else.
Why might you feel single in a relationship?
- Lack of communication.
- Different goals or expectations.
- Inadequate quality of time.
- Lack of shared interest.
- Lack of intimacy.
Signs of being single but in a relationship.
Some signs are blatantly obvious but the immense love we pour unto our partners may prevent us from seeing the truth.
1. You do all the heavy lifting.
If youâre someone that desperately wants to be in a relationship you may overlook your partnerâs efforts and interests since you value togetherness rather than vulnerability.
You always suggest and make plans while the other strings along for the ride.
Sometimes the success of the plan depends on your partnerâs moods and efforts to agree or disagree.
Think about itâŚ
Are you always making plans?
Suggesting picnic dates and gift ideas.
Remind them of anniversaries and birthdays.
Figuring out ways to spend and enjoy quality time together.
Thereâs a difference between being a partner who leads the relationship because you are opinionated. Thereâs also a difference between going above and beyond to salvage a relationship that wasnât there to begin with.
For example, you confide in your friends and ask questions like:
âJohn never does anything unless I ask him toâ.
Or
âMary never calls me to tell me about her day unless I call firstâ.
2. You are insecure and feel inadequate.
Single people in a relationship may try all the strategies to keep their relationship alive. They may read self-improvement books to become the best version of themselves and their partner only for the relationship to amount to nothing.
If youâve ever been in a one-sided relationship you know how lonely it can get.
Over time, you may question your worth, beliefs, personality and agree that your needs arenât as paramount as your partnerâs.
You may start to bombard your mind and fill it with demeaning self-talk and questions that attack your self-esteem.
âIf I was good enough wouldnât they be happy?â
âIf I was slightly physically attractive like their ex wouldnât they be willing to do anything to prove their love for me?â
âAm I worth pursuing?â
âWill anyone want me if they donât like me?â
Your mind will spin in circles trying to figure out why they wouldnât go the extra mile as you would for them.
Healthy relationships arenât perfect but they are more balanced and both partners are seen, heard and supported.
A relationship blossoms when both partners value, understand and respect their partners.
Remember you deserve a partner that reciprocates your energy and feelings. Do not settle for less.
If you recognize these signs in a relationship, hope isnât lost. You can either fix the underlying issues or peacefully exit the relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions.
1. Can you be single in a relationship?
Yes. You can feel single in a romantic relationship when there is no emotional, mental or physical connection to your partner. Most people describe it as a one-sided relationship because one partner goes above and beyond to save a relationship while the other does the bare minimum.
2. Why do I want to be single but also in a relationship?
You may want to be single because you enjoy freedom.
You feel comfortable being alone, cherish having room to work on yourself and pursue certain goals. However, you want to be in a relationship because you value companionship and the idea of love.
3. When should you quit a relationship?
No relationship is worth the anxiety, self-doubt and stress if itâs exhausting, leaves you empty or questions your self-worth.
Once you realize that your partner is not on the same page even after communicating your frustrations and feelings about the situation, it may be time to quit the relationship.
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