In a modern Hades, Inbox Zero would replace trying to fill a bottomless well with a sieve. It is pointless task designed to drive you crackers; it is a senseless waste of human endeavour.

And yet, the internet is awash with advice on how we can go through life with an inbox as immaculate as Gwyneth Paltrow’s privates.

These people have all sorts of rules. They say things like, Only Handle It Once: answer any email that will take less than two minutes to write immediately. Two minutes? The people who write these articles clearly never have to make the school run. If I did that with every email I read I would never make it out the door.

These people also have complex…

Just had your first baby and you’re not sure how you’ll ever make it to a 9am appointment again? This handy guide will teach you the ways.

NB. These aren’t time saving tips for dealing with your child more efficiently like some kind of Wonder Parent, these are time-saving tips for helping you to function as a human whilst looking after small humans who don’t even have enough self-discipline to put their shoes on without stopping 10 times to draw a picture/pick at the wallpaper/admire some dirt/hide My Little Ponies in your shoes/generally dick about.

1. Seriously lower your standards

Seriously lowering your standards is…

Here’s what I remember about going back to work after my first daughter.

1. I felt weird, lumpy and my centre of gravity had shifted thanks to giant, milk-filled mammaries and an excess layer of cake-based flabbage.
2. I was in constant fear of not just leaking a bit of milk, but actually flooding the local area.
3. My vagina still hurt.

I’d barely had a full night’s sleep in nine months and whenever I did sleep, I ground my teeth so much I literally shattered my front tooth. So you can imagine I went into those early client meetings feeling serene, relaxed, in control and ready to take on the world.

I was back! I…