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Sierra Wanden
Sierra Wanden

152 Followers

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Published in

MuddyUm

·2 days ago

I Am the Drunken Sailor From That Sea Shanty and I Am NOT Okay

All this because I wanted to celebrate murdering a whale like everybody else — Let me begin by saying sailors are not allowed to drink aboard ship, EXCEPT for when we capture and murder a big ass whale. Shit gets absolutely wild on board The Whale Slayer when we find a biological treasure trove of bones, blubber, and meat just waiting to be harvested…

Humor

4 min read

I Am the Drunken Sailor From That Sea Shanty and I Am NOT Okay
I Am the Drunken Sailor From That Sea Shanty and I Am NOT Okay
Humor

4 min read


Published in

The Belladonna Comedy

·May 16

QUIZ: Are You An Empath Or Just A Decent Human Being?

I can just sense when people really need help. I guess I’m just special like that. — Select the numbers that apply to you. I hold doors open for people. When I spot a woman juggling two trays of coffees while attempting to kick open the door at Starbucks, I can’t help but hold the door open for her when she asks me to. I can just…

Humor

3 min read

QUIZ: Are You An Empath Or Just A Decent Human Being?
QUIZ: Are You An Empath Or Just A Decent Human Being?
Humor

3 min read


Mar 25

New Dating Show “Love is a Battlefield” Promises to be a Smash Hit- and We Mean That Literally! | Robot Butt

Netflix’s newest reality dating show Love is a Battlefield is almost here! In this series, inspired by Love is Blind, 30 singles will meet and potentially fall in love. However, there’s one little catch: over the course of several days, contenders will participate in a medieval battle against experienced LARPers…

Humor

3 min read

New Dating Show “Love is a Battlefield” Promises to be a Smash Hit- and We Mean That Literally!
New Dating Show “Love is a Battlefield” Promises to be a Smash Hit- and We Mean That Literally!
Humor

3 min read


Published in

Greener Pastures Magazine

·Mar 1

I Am Your Office Sponge, and I Quit! Just As Soon As Somebody Replaces Me…

After several months at what was supposed to be a two-week temp gig, I’ve had enough. Where’s my replacement? I can’t wait any longer! My body and mind are overworked and abused beyond measure. Just look at me. See that missing chunk? That’s from the time Eileen forgot to scrub…

Humor

2 min read

I Am Your Office Sponge, and I Quit! Just As Soon As Somebody Replaces Me…
I Am Your Office Sponge, and I Quit! Just As Soon As Somebody Replaces Me…
Humor

2 min read


Published in

Humor Darling

·Feb 10

A Message From the WizardingWorld.com Re: Your Sorting Hat Identity Crisis

Dear User CedricDigsMe69, The WizardingWorld.com has received your request to reset the results from your Sorting Hat quiz, one of our popular features that reveals fans’ Hogwarts houses. Unfortunately, we have already reset your results two times, which is the maximum amount. Your first reset was granted in 2012, when…

Harry Potter

2 min read

A Message From the Harry Potter Fan Club Re: Your Sorting Hat Identity Crisis
A Message From the Harry Potter Fan Club Re: Your Sorting Hat Identity Crisis
Harry Potter

2 min read


Published in

Greener Pastures Magazine

·Jan 13

Five “Grand Party Entrance” Ideas for Excessive Attention Seekers

Don’t be lame by knocking on the door or texting “I’m here!” like everyone else. — 1. The Party Police Wear a police uniform while you bang on the door yelling, “POLICE! OPEN UP!” When the door opens, say, “OPEN UP….THIS SIX PACK!” as you hold your six pack of Natty Light in the air and everyone cheers. …

Humor

2 min read

Five “Grand Party Entrance” Ideas for Excessive Attention Seekers
Five “Grand Party Entrance” Ideas for Excessive Attention Seekers
Humor

2 min read


Published in

The Haven

·Dec 6, 2022

A Message About Your Holiday Gift Order

It hasn’t shipped yet- please don’t get mad at us! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Our whole crew is working triple overtime to package and ship every order as fast as we humanly can. Because our customizable boob pillows went viral on Tik Tok this year, we…

Shopping

2 min read

A Message About Your Holiday Gift Order
A Message About Your Holiday Gift Order
Shopping

2 min read


Published in

Humor Darling

·Nov 14, 2022

Signs Your Date Isn’t Turned Off by You — She’s Just Astral Projecting

The only possible explanation for her aloofness is that her soul has disconnected from her physical body and is floating through the air. She hasn’t said a word in the last 10 minutes. Not even when you shared that hilarious anecdote about the time you were 12 and prank-called the local pizzeria with your friends, ordering a “PP-roni” pizza. Not…

Humor

2 min read

Signs Your Date Isn’t Turned Off by You — She’s Just Astral Projecting
Signs Your Date Isn’t Turned Off by You — She’s Just Astral Projecting
Humor

2 min read


Published in

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

·Nov 8, 2022

5 Fun Team Building Ideas That Definitely Aren’t Inspired by Agatha Christie Novels

Nothing brings us together like a surprise murder mystery! — 1. Island retreat Feeling trapped in an endless labyrinth of gray cubicle walls? Get your team out to a beautiful island, where they can feel refreshed and inspired by the outdoors. Once your team arrives on the island, they will realize you are absent. Little do they know, you have already slapped an…

Work

3 min read

5 Fun Team Building Ideas That Definitely Aren’t Inspired by Agatha Christie Novels
5 Fun Team Building Ideas That Definitely Aren’t Inspired by Agatha Christie Novels
Work

3 min read

Sierra Wanden

Sierra Wanden

152 Followers

Secretary by day, humor writer by night. linktr.ee/slywanden

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