Spend Christmas holidays your way! — Part 1
There are many reasons why we might spend Christmas holidays on our own. Maybe our loved ones live far away, restrictions don’t allow gatherings, or we don’t have relationships that feel close/safe enough to spend these holidays with. Maybe we feel forced to spend it with people we don’t want to, because it is tradition and we are dreading the upcoming days. Perhaps we don’t like this particular holiday for some reason and we are not into Christmas mood, or it reminds us of a painful/difficult event.
All in all, it can be hard to grasp the possibility of spending Christmas holidays on our own or in a different way. But why? In this three-part series I’ll discuss three possible reasons.
- Comparing ourselves to others…
One possible reason is that we are surrounded by ads, media, press etc. that constantly bombard us with aspirational and inspirational holiday content, and thus, we compare our situation to an ideal (e.g. a big Christmas’ decorated table, with happy family members loving each other and exchanging amazing gifts) or to the situation of friends and colleagues. We are also exposed to a lot of content by TikTokers, Instagram influencers, personalities, famous people, who seem to have everything figured out and feel extra happy about the upcoming holidays.
When we compare ourselves to others, the result of that comparison is usually negative. We tend to believe that our plans, our decorations, our food, our gifts and our families are not as good as what we see in the media, and so, we put pressure on ourselves and others to have the “perfect Christmas”. But we need to remember that not everything we see in the media shows the whole story.
People and media portray things in the best possible way. It’s called impression management and image control. They show what they want others to see and conceal what they don’t want others to see. Some of this content is also designed to elicit strong emotions in order to sell you something.
When we are trapped in a comparison loop, we feel sad, not good enough, and some negative thoughts can arise: “My Christmas holidays will be crappy and worse than other people’s if I don’t do X”.
I invite you to challenge that thought. Try this instead: “Why does Christmas holidays need to be celebrated in a specific way? Who sets those standards? Are those my standards? If I could choose how to spend Christmas (you can actually!), how would I spend it?”
These thoughts might seem a bit progressive, sound as if they are coming from a bitter place or as if I was rejecting Christmas. I’m not. The message I’m trying to convey is that:
We place a lot of importance to external standards instead of figuring out what is meaningful to us.
So I invite you to ask yourself the following:
- What do Christmas holidays mean to ME?
- If I had no restrictions/limitations, how would I like to spend this holidays?
- What is preventing me from spending them the way I want to?
- Would it be possible for me to make things differently this year?
- What are a few small steps I could take to spend these holidays the way I would like to?
Regardless of what you decide, remember that the decision is yours and yours only. Whether you spend it on your own doing something completely unrelated to Christmas or in a family gathering surrounded by people and gifts, when you intentionally celebrate, you will feel more at ease, happy, and fulfilled.
Stay tuned for part 2 of this series where I will discuss breaking traditional patterns. If you like my content so far, please feel free to share, like and comment or consider buying me a coffee. Thank you!
