Daily UX Writing Challenge: Day 15 (Final)
Pick one from three scenarios given and do your best
Please do one of the following:
Challenge 1: Using the browser on your mobile device, please go to Facebook and log in. Tap the menu icon and then tap Create New Page in the Pages section.
Your task: Rewrite the page creation and user onboarding experience. Be bold and take risks.
Or:
Challenge 2: Write a multi-screen registration experience for a car-buying app that lets users view discounted prices. The app also enables dealers to call and email the user so they’ll visit the dealership to buy a car.
Or:
Challenge 3: Write a multi-screen onboarding experience for a banking app that automatically pays a user’s bills every month — as long as they set it up correctly.
Character constraints per screen (all challenges):
Headline: 45 characters
Body: 100 characters
At last, I finished my Day 15 #DailyUXWritingChallenge ! Wow, how time flies~ although I don’t finish it in exactly 15 days because I have to tend some matters in between, but I’m quite glad I pulled through.
For the last challenge, I pick the first challenge, Facebook page creation onboard experience redesign.
First, let me start by attaching the original Facebook page creation onboarding flow from mobile below.
Second, let me break down my thoughts from what I like and what I don’t prefer from the original design, and then attached my redesign. I said prefer because maybe it’s just my taste, other people might be just fine with the original design. Hope I can explain my thoughts well.
Copy-wise, I think Facebook version is nice enough, but I thought it could be friendlier in tone, so I decided to write go with ‘friendly, encouraging and conversational’ as the voice tone.
UI-wise, I find the step bar at the bottom distracting. Maybe because I’m too used to Instagram story bar. This might be more on my phone, but the ‘one button’ in creation page steps is frustrating to me since sometimes I can’t go back using my phone’s back button if I want to fix a data.
When I observe the page creation steps, I think the 3 page animation start page can be simplified to 1 page only and it doesn’t need intricate illustration. Some steps like adding website or address also can be cut down because user can fill them later. The one I think I will keep is the ‘add picture’ since I think it does help making the page more noticeable even when they just start out.
And personally I don’t really like the way that even though I don’t finish filling in the data/click ‘done’ at last page and move back, Facebook will still make the page. This might be why there are so many abandoned Facebook page and maybe the user doesn’t even know it was still there.
In the end, this is what I came up with:
What I added/changed in the UI:
1. Move the step bar to the top of the page creation.
2. Added two buttons (back and next) for user’s convenience.
What I added/changed in the onboard design and writing:
- Friendly, encouraging and conversational voice tone, and using “your audience” to encourage them to make the page.
- I vaguely remember at the beginning of Facebook, there are categories differentiating business and community page, they got different icon. Personally I find those helpful when scrolling pages to ‘like’, so I bring it back. Though I don’t incorporate the icon here for clean design. I also merge these categories page with their sub-categories, and keep the original copy of adding up to 3 sub-categories.
- Cutting down the 3 page animation start page to 1 page only and a simpler illustration. (I used one from Freepik.com)
- Cutting down “adding website” and “address”.
- Adding a confirmation pop up and ‘congratulation page’ at the end. I personally think would prevent the abandoned pages floating around Facebook.
I had so much fun with this challenge. I know my redesign still have many things to improve, I hope it’s at least understandable. And I also hope the pics are readable, I think Medium compression made the quality go down a lot.
Feel free to drop feedbacks on both writing and UI design are highly welcomed, I would really appreciate it!
Thank you very much in advance!
Now, to my overall thoughts of the whole #DailyUXWritingChallenge.
I feel lucky to find this challenge, because I wasn’t sure how do I apply what I learned about UX Writing. The members in the Facebook group are truly-truly helpful and I learned so much from their feedbacks, from researching, marketing tools to the effectiveness of a copy depending on the audience and what goal does your fictional app have. And last but not least, questioning everything to the smallest detail from many point of views is a good quality to have; sometimes those little things might be overlooked but it can change an app/design big time.
I really hope I can learn more about this field and hopefully have a career in either researching and or writing in general. It might be a long journey, but I’m trying to keep a positive mindset.
If anyone’s still reading, thank you very much to you also!
