How Living Messier Made My Dreams More Attainable
The importance of having a healthy balance between planning and dreaming mindsets
Excel spreadsheets, comprehensive to-do lists, detailed itineraries.
Carefully crafted game plans, realistic goals, consistent routines.
Organization, structure, predictability.
Control.
For a long time (up until ~3 days ago), I thought these were the keys to success, progress, self improvement.
If I figure out all the ‘right’ ways to spend my time, and I do a little bit everyday, then I am on the path to my dream life and career, right?
Not quite.
While planning works well for shorter-term or more tactical goals, achieving your Big Dreams requires something more: faith.
In the world of dreaming, being too realistic and regimented can actually be an Achilles heel. It can dampen creativity.
One of the core tenants of design thinking is ideation — generating as many new, wild ideas as possible before narrowing down.
So often in life, we skip this step. We jump to solutions, ‘proven’ tips & tricks, & concrete next steps. We get tunnel vision in our goals without noticing the changing scenery.
When you start an endeavor with a planning mindset, you essentially eliminate any true ideation phase. You focus on things that already have a clear path — things that are easy to see and likely to work out.
This makes it challenging to be resilient when Plans A, B, C, and D don’t work out.
The old adage is: If you fail to plan, you plan to fail — I believe that if you only pursue things that can be planned, you’ve already failed.
So much in life cannot be planned — for better or worse — especially when it comes to a major life change, career transition, or dream.
You will fail. You will need to adapt. You will learn. You will change course.
When I started my coaching and writing practices, I craved a plan. I wanted to know exactly when I would be able to dedicate time amongst my full-time job.
I tried to find the most impactful activities to focus on that would take me on the quickest route to success.
Then, I met with my coach, and I had a few major realizations:
- My schedule changes every day — a rigid routine sets me up to fail.
- I’m new here. I have room to play. Ideate. Experiment. Be messy.
- I’ve been enjoying the lack of structure. It has made me more creative.
I thought I had to reign in all of my ideas, pick the top three, and distill them down into a consistent, 2-hour regiment.
This works for some, but not for me. Not while I’m working full-time. Letting go of structure and any notion that the path to my ultimate dream would be easy, clear, or fast has allowed me to feel more free.
So, for now, I’ve embraced the mess, the chaos, the hobby of it.
I commit to writing a certain amount each week, even if it’s at a different time every day. I don’t let rejection from a potential client bring me down; I get curious about how to better build the relationship.
I’m excited to ‘fail’ because each small step is a success in itself, no matter the outcome. I’m learning everyday, so I’m progressing.
Dreams take time. Maybe my lack of routine will cause mine to take more time, but at least I’ll be enjoying it.
Dreams can’t be perfectly planned. We change everyday. The world changes everyday. Circumstances change everyday.
I’m not telling you to not have goals, but consider having strong goals, loosely held.
Be willing to write that article at night instead of in the morning because an early meeting popped up. Take the last minute opportunity to join a networking event with potential clients.
Do whatever it takes, even if it’s not the way you planned.
Don’t be afraid to get messy.
For more inspiration on how to have a values-aligned, purpose-driven life and career, follow Alex Stanton on Medium // @stantoncoaching on IG
