Is This Narcissism Or Self-Love?
The characteristics of both narcissism and self-love are very distinct from one another. People often are confused between these two adjectives. It is typically because their concept isn’t clear to people. However, today we will look at the general qualities and factors that decide whether it is narcissism or self-love.
Self Esteem:
A narcissistic person has a very low self-esteem. Hence, they are always desperate for validation and appreciation. There is nothing wrong with desiring that at some level. But when a person becomes obsessed with this, it starts reflecting on their actions and thoughts. So that is one of the signs of being a narcissistic person. On the other hand, the person with high self-esteem follows their heart and mind. They aren’t doing things to seek reassurance. Instead, they do what they feel is right by their principles. No matter what reaction they shall get from other people. Taking a stand to do the right thing is self-love. But to do it for the purpose of receiving other people’s appreciation is narcissism.
Fears & Insecurities:
Any person who has deep insecurities will bend over backward to hide them. In order to do so, they build a fake image of themselves so no one can look beyond it. They chose to act ignorant about their flaws because they cannot fathom the thought of their words & actions being wrong. There is a feeling of exposure within them that makes them feel vulnerable. So when someone tries to confront them about it, their whole personality flips. They’ll show aggression, try manipulation, find other person’s flaws, etc. All these are the signs of a narcissism. However, people who practice self-love are willing to work on their fears and insecurities. They’ll attempt to fight those issues that are hindrances for them. In fact, they’d be eager to talk about it with other people to get out of that zone. If you are hustling to put that baggage behind you instead of using it as a shield, you have begun your self-love journey.
Take On Their Flaws:
Have you ever tried telling a narcissistic person about their mistake? Either you have to skip it or over plan the whole conversation for you to put your point as politely as possible. There is a need for lots of sugar coating. That’s one of the best ways to spot a person full of narcissism. They cannot digest how another being could point out their mistake. No matter how hard you try, they’ll always take the negative feedback to their heart. Plus, their reaction to those is mostly hostile and toxic. They are one of those individuals who think the world revolves around them. Hence, they don’t even care enough to make a minimal change in their habits for the comfort of others. But hope for others to do the same. On the other hand, self-love people actively make an effort to understand how their gestures affect the people around them. Moreover, they will not react in an unhealthy manner if someone approaches them regarding their shortcomings.
Know When To Put Themselves First:
Prioritizing yourself when your body, mind, or soul needs it is self-love. However, putting yourself first no matter when or what the situation is, comes under narcissism. I never promote going out of your way to assist someone else. As long as you can help people while being sane yourself is okay. But when your energy has dropped down, or you need some me-time, do not be hesitant about it. Learn how to say no with conviction. But if someone uses this theory as an excuse for their escape, their narcissism level is very high. You must have heard some people say, “Why should I do it? What’s in it for me? I don’t see how this concerns me?” That is what narcissism looks like. These statements either come from egoistic people or someone who refuses to be a pushover. The only difference is that a narcissistic person says it every time. While the self-love ones would only bring it up if they have come to a point where they feel used.
