Psychological Safety 101 — Part 4
Preparing existing team members
In parts 1, 2, and 3 of this series, we covered the basics. How to think about safety, how to create the right mindset, getting to know your employee, and preparing your new team member to join the team.
In this part, we will cover how to prepare an existing team to be inclusive to your new person — including if that person is you!
Give your teams a refresher.
We all want to believe that our teams are full of wonderful, sensitive people. Sometimes that is true, but even when it is, they still need a reminder and it’s your role to provide it. Recently a woman on an all-male team told me that the breaks are spent talking about football and she hates it. This is a common example in my experience, but it clearly illustrates what I mean and can apply to any new person in any new team.
Inclusion is not majority rules. Inclusion means you understand what *everyone* needs to feel comfortable and commit to responding to the group, not a part of it.
Here’s how I like to prepare teams for a new person joining the group, I’d love to know what you think in the comments and hear your approaches.
First, remind everyone when this person arrives and what their role is:
On {date} we will welcome a new team member, {name} as our {role}.
Next, give reasons why you picked this person to help them build trust and legitimacy with your team before they even arrive.
After {number} weeks interviewing, we selected {name} because they {reasons they impressed you enough to hire them}. Their skills in {skills} will be especially valuable to our team to solve {problem space they can help with}.
Now this next part requires you to ask 3 questions in advance to your new joiner:
1. How do you view yourself: Extrovert, introvert, ambivert?
2. What’s something you like and are comfortable being asked about by team members so they can get to know you?
3. How do you like to get to know people — group settings like going out for drinks or playing a game together, or 1 on 1 like a quiet coffee break?
Now you can incite everyone to welcome them respectfully, get to know them with a space they are comfortable talking about, and engage in the way they prefer:
{name} is {introverted, ambiverted, extroverted} and enjoys {activities} in their free time. I encourage you to get to know them by {enagement they prefer}.
This is a win-win-win. Your team feels comfortable with the new joiner because this person is not a black box. Your new joiner knows that you care about making them comfortable. Your team won’t alienate the new person if they follow your instruction.
Have some fun: Throw a welcome to the party party!
Story time. I’m a 5'3'’ munchkin of a woman. I can wear my children’s clothes — they are 7 and 9 while I am writing this. I’m afraid of heights, and I have ZERO upper body strength. Anyone want to guess how it felt to go “block” climbing with 8 of the strongest men I’d ever met for three and a half hours? Humiliation doesn’t begin to cover it.
I was hanging on by my tiny, weak, stubby little fingers, grunting my way to the second hold, all the while wondering how closely my behind was being scrutinized by this merry band of spidermen. They could traverse a network of expert level holds like they were born to do this one task. I barely made it off the ground and fell down infront of senior leaders more times than I can count. It was supremely NOT FUN. I could feel my credibility and trust with them being sucked out of this activity with every passing minute, but I grinned through it and tried to not feel self conscious.
I cannot stress enough the importance of making team building exercises ACTUALLY FUN. Ask everyone if they’re comfortable with getting together to celebrate this new integration and how. Are there activities you should avoid?
Here’s how I like to ask this:
I’m planning a team building activity on {insert your date / time} with a budget of {X}, we should all participate. Each person can make 1 suggestion in {link to a spreadsheet} and we will vote for the ones we like the most. Vetos can be shared with me in a PM. I’ll announce the choice of activity on {date}.
If they say they don’t like a certain team building exercise, just don’t.
For some of you that goes without saying, but you would be surprised. This will not always be expressed very obviously. It’ll probably sound like:
“OH! We are doing _____?”.
Consider this type of response as a “quiet quit” of your activity. Pay attention and sidebar with anyone who gives that kind of response to find out why with something like:
Sounds like you’re not very excited to go {ACTIVITY} with the group . I would like everyone to have fun, so can you tell me more?
