Day 67 (Gallagher Family Hot Takes Rebuttal Edition): Liam Gallagher — As You Were
As the only media outlet that still adheres to the Fairness Doctrine, Tim’s Medium Account has invited Noel Gallagher to review his brother Liam’s album three days after Liam reviewed his.
Jesus fuck, Liam. About time you had the stones to release songs in your own name. You share half my name, so I get at least half the credit for you ripping me off, right?
Just taking the piss. It pains me to say this, but some of the tunes you pulled out of my brain here are top notch. “For What It’s Worth” is a proper britpop tune, not even a little bit shite. “Wall of Glass” sounds alright enough, even to an old potato like me.
But for fuck’s sake, these lyrics are all about me, aren’t they? “That stone you throw will turn back in its path, one day you’ll shatter like a wall of glass,” you say? Catchy tune, but I’m not letting a bloody harmonica blind me to the fact that the words to this one are a bit more on the nose than you realize. Same goes for “Paper Crown”. It’s not so bad, but “Don’t look down at the pages of your paper crown” because you’ll realize that you stole all of the lyrics and instrumentation from David Bowie. Rolling in his grave, mate.
Really? You’re going to make me weigh in on the rest of this punter’s album? Ok then. The lot of it sounds like Beck Rebel Motorcycle Club ranting about selfies and smartphones. At your best, it’s almost a bit Spoon-y, but not quite there. Maybe you should call this little thing you’ve got going on Liam Gallagher’s Low-Sinking Sporks.
That line about the cops and yoga on “Chinatown” is ace though, but that’s about it. Buy my album instead kids, or get it on your mp3 whatevers. I’m 50.
Thank you, Noel. I would personally like to state that I thought the album was surprisingly decent, but obviously Liam’s brother saw things a little bit differently.
This is Day 67 in my 100 albums in 100 days series, where I review a new album or EP I haven’t heard in full before every day through December 31st. Check out yesterday’s post or see the full archives for more.
