“The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people. But because of the silence of the good people.”― Napoleon
“You misheard me.”
“You misunderstood.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“I didn’t mean any harm.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Nobody’s perfect.”
Positive intent does not excuse, nor does it erase, hurtful impact.
I heard you loud and clear. Your message was obvious, but the stars in my eyes prevented me from seeing it clearly until it was too late. The damage was done — again. I didn’t just miss the second arrow. I missed scores of arrows before realizing the depth of the wound you inflicted on my soul.
It’s my fault of course. In my desperation to trust, red flags are like beacons enticing me to open my heart to the wrong people. I thought I’d learned that hard lesson. Apparently the Universe has other plans for me. My judgment of character still needs fine tuning.
“When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time.”― Maya Angelou
Failure to see the authentic content of someone’s character the first time offers an opportunity to catch the red flags earlier the next time — before the slings and arrows have a chance to do irreparable damage. Learning from our mistakes is what growth is all about. Without failures there can be no growth.
I am learning to welcome the lesson and begin again.
It’s a process.
I have no desire to forgive you yet. My anger is my shield. It gives me the courage to stand strong in the face of injustice. I need to honor the subtle balance of allowing my anger to guide me without allowing it to lead me down a familiar path of endless resentment.
Resentment is soul suicide. — Gabor Maté
Before I consider forgiveness for you, I need to forgive myself for allowing you to deceive me. I also need to forgive your devotees their trespasses as I forgive my own. Neutrality is apathy. Defense of the oppressor makes us complicit in the abuse. I too have been a defender of the tyrant when I didn’t understand the power dynamics at play. Live and learn.
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”― Desmond Tutu
You are human with imperfections just like me. I can see that now, but you don’t seem to. Sadly, your devotees (Flying Monkeys) can’t seem to see it either. I was left alone on one side of the dangerous triangle with nobody to support me in my grief.
The silence was deafening, until a courageous lone voice spoke her truth, and mine.
“What do you need from us right now?”
The kind words washed over me in a warm embrace. I felt seen. I felt alive. My heart and soul burst open with hope. I chose my allies and basked in their intention and attention. The reweaving of my unravelled soul began in earnest.
