This Just In… The TED Talk That Changed My Life
Thanks for tuning in! This week’s post features: Give and Take by Adam Grant (book), How Do You Focus? By Nathan Kontny (blog), How to Tie Your Shoes by Terry Moore (ted talk) & more. Enjoy…
Book: Give and Take by Adam Grant (320 pgs)
This book highlights the difference between three different types of people:
- Givers
- Matchers
- Takers
And it goes deeper than that. Adam details the subcategories of givers and takers and breaks it up into a matrix, introducing agreeableness into the equation. So someone could be a counterintuitive combination, as in a disagreeable giver (people that appear tough on the surface, but generous in the long run) or an agreeable taker (more or less a faker).
Throughout the book, Adam shares why being a giver is the way to go. Among other valuable lessons, this book addresses the common pitfalls and traps that givers fall into and how to avoid or overcome them.
One of my favorite things about this book is that in every chapter Adam lets the reader know exactly what his goal for the chapter is and shared how he plans to achieve the goal and transmitting the message to us
This book is incredibly well researched, Adam, brings study after study to emphasize the point that proper giving is always better than taking.
Blog Post: How Do You Focus? By Nathan Kontny (5 mins)
For me, focus starts with prioritization. Study after study show it’s difficult to focus on more than one thing at a time. By attempting this, you will end up with subpar work. There’s a lot of things I want to focus on; like these posts, my studies, learning a new language, my graphics page, spending time with friends/family, sleeping 8 hrs a night, the list is endless.
Sometimes my priorities are out of wack — for instance learning a new language to help with my studies should be higher on my list of priorities — and sometimes my priorities are perfectly aligned. When this happens, I feel in the zone, like I can focus forever.
I try my best to base my schedule and dedicate time to what I prioritize. Now, this isn’t for everybody. but I like having a rough idea of what I am going to do throughout each day. The controlled order in my schedule keeps me collected and prevents me from getting stressed when chaos inevitably arises. I know when I want to be in bed each night, when I want to wake up, when I eat, when I’m in class, when I work on this, when I have down time to chill with friends, etc.
Generally speaking, being busy is a trap and a lie. If you’re busy and feel like you don’t have enough time in the day its because you haven’t prioritized your life. Clarify your priorities, structure your day around them, stick to the day you designed day after day, adapt as your priorities change, live your best life. All of this will make it easier to focus.
Ted Talk: How to Tie Your Shoes by Terry Moore (2 mins 52 secs)
I came across this video around 2 years ago when Jake was at the height of his shoe phase. You see, Jake gets these obsessions and fixates on certain things. For awhile that obsession was shoes. It’s probably sort of my fault. When I was working at a shoe store I was bringing home at least one pair of shoes each month. I guess he saw my love for shoes and adopted it.
Jake always wanted to watch video’s of people going through their shoe closets, like this one, and would always say to people “tie your shoelaces.” If you didn’t then he would “try” to do it for you, which usually meant he pulled your laces out of your shoes entirely.
One day I decided to try to teach him to tie shoes and I thought what better way than through a video. I was shocked when I found a TED Talk about tying shoes and I knew I had to put it on. While it didn’t teach him how to tie shoes, I have been tying mine like this ever since.
Now this isn’t be my favorite TED Talk, it’s not the one that helped me discover my passion (still waiting to find that one), it’s not the one that inspired me to change the world (still searching for that one also), but I did implement this one immediately and it has had the longest lasting impact on me and has changed my life for the better. It’s crazy that something as simple as how you tie your shoes can make a transformative difference in life.
Bonus: HOW TO CONQUER IMPULSES & FIND FREEDOM by Barry Michels (55 mins 05 secs)
We all have impulses that we can’t control. If you think you don’t, try stopping yourself from checking your phone for 30 minutes after receiving a notification.
This excellent talk, given at Google, teaches you “The Tools” to stop these impulses from controlling you.
Similarly to addiction, mentioned last week, Its hard to notice in the act but these impulses have long-term consequences. The small minutes we spend each day uncontrollably scrolling through social media accounts doesn’t seem like much but imagine spending 10 minutes less on these apps every day.
Those 10 minutes can be used much more productively and can compound into something amazing. My productivity levels have skyrocketed since deleting the facebook app and snapchat from my phone.
Unfortunately, we are effectively seeking self-gratification which prevents us from achieving self-actualization. We strive to obtain external things in order to try to fill us up inside. If we could acknowledge that no external thing can fill us up internally we could then live a more meaningful, more in-tuned and happier life.
Similarly to living in the Now, when you get comfortable with your emptiness you will no longer feel desires for anything outside of you. Again, you can’t fill this emptiness with anything, its called a void for a reason.
As Barry points out, “The solution to our endless quest to get more is to give more of ourselves” since the more you give to others, the less you need because you are actualizing your potential. In accordance with above, Give as much as you can and take only what you need.
Quote: “Don’t count the days, make the days count“ — Muhammad Ali
First and foremost, happy mothers day to all the moms out there.
I was lucky enough to spend these past 10 days with my grandma in Israel. While birthright manages to do their trips in 10 days, I don’t think 10 days is enough to see Israel. As each day came and went I thought what can I do to make this day special, in other words, how can we make this day count?
We hustled and bustled and I think we managed to do some pretty great stuff. More importantly, each day was special because I got to spend it with my grandma. In honor of her trip and mothers day, make this day count for your mom/mother figure and don’t forget to get her something special…
Mom your present is coming soon, don’t worry.
What was your favorite bullet in this post? If you had to pick only one bullet to keep in this post what would it be and why and if you had to get rid of one what would it be and why? Send a message or comment below.
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To your growth! Stay curious…
P.S. If you want my notes for the book above, send me an email with the subject “Notes for (insert book name)” and I will happily share.
