My Wife Left So I Got a Dog
Filling an empty space in your life can be challenging, particularly when that void appears suddenly and unexpectedly. For me, that was the end of a marriage I didn’t see coming. I went from having someone sleeping beside me to an empty bed.
Then, I got a dog. It wasn’t planned. I had no intention of getting a dog. Yet, there is now a very large dog in my house. Despite him only being in my life for a few months, I can’t imagine him not being there. And, strangely enough, life doesn’t hurt as much anymore.
Unconditional Love
It has often been said that most men will never experience unconditional love from a woman. For many men, that includes their mother. I definitely feel that way. Most women I know only seem concerned with what I can do for them. Beyond that, I don’t matter.
That was certainly true of my ex-wife. Her love was 100% conditional and was based solely on me being the person she decided I should be. The problem was I’m not that guy. I’m me. As such, she declared me a failure and moved on behind my back.
I have felt that my mother’s love is conditional at times. To be fair, it’s much different than how things were with my ex. Regardless, my mother mostly calls me when she needs things done or help with something. Otherwise, I don’t tend to hear from her as often as my siblings.
Like a lot of men, I find myself looking for unconditional love from somewhere, anywhere. My children both love me and I have friends that love me. But I still felt a gap in my life. Something was missing during my marriage that became painfully obvious after it ended.
I Got a Dog
When my wife left, we already had pets. Those were pets we got together, so they have never really felt like mine. They were more her pets, though that has changed since she’s been gone. My bond with them continues to grow. In truth, they stayed with me because I have more room in my house and I’m more responsible. I do love those fur balls.
Not too long ago, I was at my local animal shelter making a food donation. They mentioned they had a lot of puppies. Normally, I go for older dogs but I figured there was no harm in taking a look at the puppies. Those are famous last words if I’ve ever heard them.
I held that little guy for 30 seconds before I asked for the adoption papers. The next thing I knew, I was buying toys and puppy food. I’ve never regretted it for a second. This is the first pet I’ve had in nearly 20 years who is truly mine, not shared between my wife and I.
Rather unexpectedly, this dog ended up filling the emotional void my wife’s departure left behind. My depression started lifting a bit and I started feeling more like myself. Even more surprising was the love I felt coming back to me from this dog. It was truly unconditional.
Dogs and Women Aren’t the Same
To be clear, I did not replace my wife with a dog. Women and dogs are not interchangeable in any way. My relationship with my ex was very different from my relationship with my dog. As an example, my dog doesn’t text other humans on the down low to arrange secret meet ups to play fetch.
It’s not like I wasn’t getting unconditional love from my other pets, either. But this is something else. The decision to get this dog was mine and mine alone. This dog is my dog. I chose him. He chose me. I don’t prefer him to my other pets as I love them all equally. At the same time, it’s hard to ignore there’s a different connection.
He is my shadow. He lies behind me on the kitchen floor while I cook supper. He sleeps on the other side of the bed, somehow taking up 80% of it. He goes for long walks with me. And he doesn’t lie to me, judge me, constantly tell me I’m wrong, or cheat on me. My cat definitely judges me.
At this point in my life, I would choose spending the evening hanging out with my dog over a date with virtually any woman. There are days when I honestly feel like I traded up when my wife left and my dog arrived. That’s probably just the bitterness talking, and my dog will help with that, too.
