Men Live in Constant Fear of Disappointing Women
Being a man who is interested in women is a roller coaster ride of emotions. You feel like you know what’s coming next but you never really do. And there’s always the nagging doubt in the back of your mind that it could all go wrong at any second.
There are more than a few things about men that women don’t seem to understand. A big one is that we’re scared of disappointing you. Why? Because most of us have realized the singular truth that women can replace men far easier than men can replace women.
Constant, Paralyzing Fear
I know this seems insane, but men are scared pretty much all the time when it comes to the women we’re with. We’re worried that we won’t do the dishes right, that we’ll be bad in bed, or that we’ll say the wrong thing. The reason for it is pretty simple.
Men are almost always worried that the next mistake is the one that will drive their wives or girlfriends away. When we’re not thinking about the Roman Empire, that’s what we’re thinking about. Did I fuck up bad enough this time that she’ll just walk away?
Every man who is in a long-term relationship has had that thought at least once per week for the entire duration of said relationship. If he isn’t worried about that, he might not be husband material. He probably should be thinking about your wants and needs on some level.
At the same time, that perpetual fear can wear you down. It screws with your self-esteem, making you believe that your marriage is balanced on the head of a pin, even if that isn’t the case. It’s a fine balance between being considerate and being paralyzed by fear.
Ready to Fail
In truth, basically no man thinks they’re worthy of the woman they’re with. Don’t get me wrong. Some of us put on a really convincing game face. That doesn’t change the fact that we are perpetually undermining ourselves thanks to our inner narrative.
Society has conditioned us for that since day one. It’s amazing how much the media tells men they are not good enough and they will never be enough. Even worse, there’s an overwhelming amount of media telling women that men are not good enough and will never be enough.
Our own parents frequently reinforce these beliefs by teaching their sons they have to work to be good enough for a woman while teaching their daughters men have to work to be good enough for them. It is a vicious cycle that has been going on for a long time.
As such, men have been taught by society and culture to expect failure. Even if you are able to attract the attention of a woman, we have been told that it’s our fault and only our fault if we lose her. And we have been told that it’s likely we will lose her, no matter how hard we work.
Embracing Fear
At some point, you have to embrace the fear and move past it. Yes, you might disappoint a woman while in a relationship. Yes, you can be replaced, quicker than you want to admit. Yes, you may have done something legitimately wrong to get you in that situation.
You also have to be able to understand when something isn’t on you. Neither men nor women are the problem. It’s just how relationships go sometimes. The ones that should work fall apart while others that should self-destruct end up going the distance. There’s honestly no way to predict success in these situations.
And it does seem like women have an easier time replacing men than the other way around. That’s an illusion, though. It’s really easy to get a low-quality guy who treats women like crap. It’s more difficult to get a good man who is worth the long game. If you’re that kind of man, own it.
Men fear something they shouldn’t be afraid of. If a woman thinks you’re not enough for her, move on. There’s nothing there worth fighting for. Find someone who does appreciate you. We all deserve better, so stop settling for less and blaming yourself. Don’t be afraid, anymore. Be yourself.
