Not Bill JohnsonThe World’sThe world’s greatest fart was so astronomical that it surrounded the globe, punctured the 4th dimension, and began to travel back into…Mar 31, 2023Mar 31, 2023
Not Bill JohnsonTen Trillion Miles From HomeWhen I was in college, my friend Anthony floated down from an unidentified star ten trillion miles above Earth in a little silver pill and…Mar 28, 2023Mar 28, 2023
Not Bill JohnsonSandwiches of HistoryThe man began to post videos on the internet of himself eating and reviewing sandwiches he found in historical cookbooks. The man ate…Mar 28, 2023Mar 28, 2023
Not Bill JohnsonThe Naked Ankles of OregonWe drove in the same direction as the trains, down the pant leg of civilization, to the naked ankles of Oregon where hardly anybody lives…Mar 28, 2023Mar 28, 2023
Not Bill JohnsonPeculiar SymphonyOne typical Pacific Northwest evening, as I vacuumed my basement floor and listened to the tapping of the rain, I heard the sound of tires…Mar 28, 2023Mar 28, 2023
Not Bill JohnsonRetirementFor thirty-seven octagon-shaped years, Fred rolled tires and planted them on the raw legs of cars. Over these years, Fred’s body gradually…Mar 28, 2023Mar 28, 2023
Not Bill JohnsonI Went to the Movies with a Big Tech ExecutiveA Big Tech executive and I went to the movies. I ordered a tub of popcorn and the Big Tech executive ordered a hot dog. We sat together in…Mar 28, 2023Mar 28, 2023
Not Bill JohnsonIn the Face of Pill Bottle MusicThere was once a slice of seed bread named Brian who was helplessly lonely and terrified of the diabolical chemicals that were rapidly…Mar 28, 2023Mar 28, 2023
Not Bill JohnsonI Dumped my Brain Out On My LawnI dumped my brain out on my lawn. I probably shouldn’t have, but I did. At first, nothing really happened. My brain just sat there in the…Mar 28, 2023Mar 28, 2023
Not Bill JohnsonMan of the HouseWhen Billy Bushwick was eleven years old, his father told him that he needed to pick up cheese at the grocery store. Billy’s father left…Mar 28, 2023Mar 28, 2023
