I remember around this time last year, I was stressing out about making the move from high school to college. By no means was I ready to make such a move. I remember the day before I was set to move into my dorm, I called my advisor and told her I wouldn’t be arriving on campus. I told her that I honestly wasn’t ready to start school and needed some time off. And so began my year long adventure.
A year to do absolutely whatever I wanted only seemed like a dream while in highschool but here I am at the end of it. I remember having my dad asking me what my plan was and my mind being completely blank. I honestly didn’t know what I wanted to do. Apart from eating, I had no other plans. I’m a person who prefers to “wing” things so I decided to simply go with the flow of things over my gap year and hopefully “find myself” or “find my purpose in life.”
Looking back now, going with the flow of things and doing things on a whim was the best decision I could have made. I can’t recall how many miles I’ve traveled. Or how many people I’ve met. Or the things I’ve done. One of the first things I did was move to Chicago to work at a development studio. 3 months after moving to Chicago, I was let go from my job. After that, I just sort of said screw it and left Chicago. No one wanted hire me so I hit the road. Traveling to wherever I could obtain a ticket to.
I wrote confession last fall detailing my depression and a couple months later, I wrote spring which was me essentially saying that things were better. It’s weird how people ask you how you got somewhere but never ask you questions while you’re in the process of getting there. The period of time between writing confession and writing spring was the most difficult thing I’ve ever experienced to be honest. But I’ll spare you the details for now. The only thing that matters is I’m doing better.
The experiences I’ve had on my gap year have been from the relatively mundane to adrenaline rushing experiences. From exploring Berkeley while playing the ukulele with Krish to skateboarding at night and being hit by a car to DJing a party at mission control (shoutout to Dave) to seeing The Glitch Mob in concert to getting my first tattoo to standing on a street corner in SF at 10pm eating ice cream and thinking about the past year. There are more experiences but those were the ones that really stood out to me.
After my adventures, I’ve come to the conclusion that food and weather make me happy. Those are the only two things I really care about which is weird because I’ll be attending Purdue in the fall which doesn’t really have good food and I don’t deal with winter well. But there is something melancholic about winter. I’m taking better care of myself. I’m doing more to talk to people and be less quiet. I’m building more stuff and making somewhat good music. I’m trying to scary stuff sometimes. Plus, I feel I have things to talk about now. You know?
If you’re in the spot I was in a year ago and you’re thinking about taking a gap year, do it. The beginning might be kinda boring but once you find things to do and get in your groove, you’re in for an adventure. Be good at being uncomfortable. Being good at being uncomfortable will force you to try new things. Like you don’t have to go to college right away if you don’t want to. Take time off and go do whatever you feel like. Also don’t forget to exercise. Seriously.
I still don’t know what purpose even really means and why we search for it, but what I do know is that as corny as it may sound, you have to enjoy “the search” because ultimately it might be the only thing we end up with.
So I guess here I am. At the end of what has been, to me, a somewhat grand adventure. 10k+ miles traveled. 4 continents visited. I just finished up my internship at a startup in Silicon Valley and now I’m headed to Purdue to start what set me out on my journey, college. I’ve enjoyed the time I had off and I’m incredibly excited about the future. I’ve also figured out that some things get easier. The hard part is facing those things and going through the motions but it gets easier.
To all those who I’ve met over the past year and had conversations with, thank you. I will forever cherish the thoughts we exchanged no matter what our conversations were about. I’m insanely psyched about what the future holds.
Things end, most of the time.
My name is Fisher and if you’ll indulge me, I’m ready to face the next 4 years.
Thanks to Stefan, Tru, Shriyash, Tosin, Iheanyi, Niraj and Krish for reading early drafts and offering feedback.
