10. Whoops! An Accidental Marriage
In August of 1984, I was impatiently counting the days until my return trip to the U.S. But first, a wedding to attend. Tammy, a distant cousin from my mother’s side of the family, and her boyfriend, Baruch, decided to tie the knot!
But first, allow me to digress. Over dinner a few years earlier, I informed my uncle Jess (my mom’s brother) about my intended stay in Israel. Jess asked me if I would be interested in meeting our relatives there. “Huh? I didn’t know we have relatives in Israel,” I mumbled on my mouthful. But of course I was interested, and Jess provided me with the relevant names and addresses and phone numbers.
Despite the fact that they had never heard of me, Tammy, her mother, and her grandmother warmly welcomed me to Israel and to their home, and encouraged me to stay in touch with them.
Now, back to the joyful event…
As penniless students living on a stipend, Tammy and Baruch decided to forego the catered affair and invited 20-or-so guests to an impromptu wedding at the Tel-Aviv Rabbinate, with a homemade cake and soft drinks for refreshment.
Given my lack of experience with Israeli nuptials, I followed my American-born instincts, and showed up wearing a white dress shirt and a necktie. In the sweltering August heat, at least I had the presence of mind to leave my jacket at home.
Nevertheless, I arrived at the Rabbinate, and — even without the jacket — realized that I was way overdressed. Tammy was wearing a simple white frock, and Baruch was dressed in an open-collar shirt and sandals.
A few minutes later, the Rabbi appointed to officiate at the wedding showed up. He made a beeline straight for me, and began asking me questions. I guess I didn’t understand him, because I found myself nodding cluelessly. Baruch, suddenly realizing that he was about to be replaced, called out: “Excuse me, Rabbi. I’m the groom!”
So here are some tips for you first-time wedding guests in Israel. Don’t outdress the bride and groom. And brush up on your Hebrew beforehand. Especially if you’d prefer to stay single.
