“Can you believe we just did that?”
“Can you believe we did that?”
In the week since my family has returned from Rio, that’s the question the four of us keep asking each other in amazement.
“Can you believe we did that?”
When my family embarked on our adventure to see Taylor Swift in Rio, we were hoping for an amazing concert experience. What we got was so much more.
It’s hard to believe one week in Rio could provide us with so many moments of joy, hope, connection, release and inspiration, but it did.
There are many magical stories from our trip — including meeting up with Hayley Arceneaux, watching a guy named Messi and exploring marvelous Rio — but The Eras Tour was why we climbed on that plane, so here is my attempt at a recap. (I’m sorry it’s such a long read, but it could have been even longer.)
Welcome to Rio de Swift
Disneyland might claim to be “The Happiest Place on Earth,” but that title could also be bestowed on any city when Taylor Swift comes to town.
On the day we arrived in Rio, we ventured out into the city to get lunch and quickly made a joyful discovery: Swifties were everywhere!
The best part about this invasion of the Swifties was the vibe. People were just giddy. The Swifties were easy to spot because their wrists were bejeweled with Friendship Bracelets, so we met fans from South America, North America, Europe, the UK, as well as fans who’d traveled from far away cities within Brazil. Everyone was just happy to be in Rio and happy to be there to see Taylor Swift.
The Friendship Bracelets that Swifties wear are the world’s greatest icebreaker. Before the trip, I’d wondered if the language barrier might put a dent in our overall concert experience. How foolish of me. If anything, the language barrier made the experience better! I lost track of how many fun interactions we had with complete strangers that began with a simple point to the wrist. Not everyone spoke English and not everyone spoke Portuguese, but we all spoke Swiftese.
For obvious reasons, my favorite Swifties in Rio were the ones who were there to take their children to the show. Sure, we’re all fans, but there’s something cool about watching your kids sparkle with happiness as they boldly mingle with an international crowd of strangers. It was fun to share knowing nods with all the other parents. Plus, some of them were rocking fabulous Swiftie gear. My favorite was the guy who was sporting a t-shirt that read: “It’s me, hi. I’m the dad. It’s me.” Classic.
Note: A reduction in the giddiness of the Swifties was palpable once word spread about the tragedy at the Friday show. Swifties kept talking to Swifties, but the topics of conversation (at least among the adults) shifted to whether people were at that Friday show and what precautionary measures should be taken by those who had not yet been to the stadium.
Our experience at Taylor Swift’s concerts in Rio
Soooo … did you notice how the section header above uses the word “concerts” … as in plural? That’s not a typo. We ended up going to TWO of Taylor’s shows in Rio!
How we ended up going to two shows is a story about backup plans and concert chaos. But here’s the rundown of our epic experience at The Eras Tour concerts.
The Saturday show
Since the forecast called for Saturday’s concert to be even hotter than Friday’s tragic show, I was surprised the event was still scheduled to proceed. Armed with copious amounts of water and a plan to arrive at the stadium much closer to showtime (and after sunset), we climbed into the car of our prearranged guide/Uber driver. Our driver, Marcelo, could not have been more kind and friendly. His English skills were as limited as our Portuguese, but we still managed to communicate a few things as we navigated the 75-minute traffic jam to the stadium.
Marcelo lives near the stadium, so the plan was to park at his house and he’d accompany us on the 10-minute walk to the entrance. When we arrived at Marcelo’s house, he graciously invited us into his home for a few minutes before we set off for the stadium. We made it about 200 meters before we encountered a pair of Swifties walking in the opposite direction. The show had been postponed until Monday. Ugh.
Since we were staying until Thursday, the postponement wasn’t a big problem for us. The kids were bummed, but Kate and I always try to teach them to “roll with it” when you catch a bad break. Plus, we knew something the kids didn’t.
We climbed back into Marcelo’s car and he drove us back to our Airbnb in Ipanema. We then went out to a fun family dinner and revealed a surprise to the kids: Not only were we going to the postponed show on Monday, but we also had tickets to the Sunday show. Sabina and Charlie lost their minds. “We are gonna see Taylor Swift on back-to-back nights?!?!” Yep.
The Sunday show
Our transportation plan for Sunday’s show was different from how we’d approached the previous night’s aborted concert. On Saturday afternoon, we’d met up with Hayley Arceneaux and some of her amazing colleagues from St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and they told us about the special trains Rio’s transit system was running to get fans to and from the stadium. They’d used those trains for the Friday show and said the transfer at Rio’s massive Centro station was easy, so we decided to go for it. We were sooooo glad we did.
The metro ride from Ipanema was a breeze and once we got to Centro, there were dozens of transit workers in bright green jackets directing all the Swifties to the platforms where we could catch the commuter trains to the stadium. And since each train was full of Swifties, it was a party.
Once we arrived at the stadium, we realized our entrance was on the far side of the venue, so we began the walk. One thing we had going for us was that the heat wave had ended. It was still plenty warm, but the life-threatening heat was gone. However, the heat had been replaced by something else: rain.
Lots and lots of rain.
Instead of water bottles and shade, Swifties were now clamoring for rain slickers. Unsurprisingly, the savvy street vendors selling water, soda and beer instantly added plastic slickers to their offerings to meet the demand.
After about 30 minutes navigating a very chaotic line, we finally reached the entrance and the ticket takers started to scan our tickets. Unbeknownst to the rest of my family, this was a big moment for me. I’d bought the tickets on a reputable site (StubHub), but you never know.
When the ticket scanner pinged four times and we were waved through, I pumped by fist and pulled my family in for high fives and a big group hug. “We did it! We’re here. We’re in!” I gave Sabina an extra hug, looked her in the eyes and told her how happy I was that I’d been able to keep the promise I’d made to her on that day long ago in the hospital.
The walk down the ramp onto the field of the stadium was incredible. Outside the stadium, we’d been mingling amid a couple thousand Swifties. But inside the stadium, we were surrounded by 60,000 Swifties. The energy was next-level. I stepped back and watched Sabina and Charlie spin around in circles as they tried to absorb the visual, audio and physical vibe of the setting. They were swimming in the belly of a giant beast of positivity.
Our tickets for the field area by the stage were cheaper than the stadium section because there weren’t any seats. We knew we’d have to stand for the entire show, but our tickets meant we also lacked something else: shelter.
For the next 5 hours, we soaked up all the music Taylor Swift (and opening act Sabrina Carpenter) could throw at us … and all the rain the skies of Rio could dump on us.
There are certain events where rain can detract from the experience … until a moment hits when the rain enhances the experience. This was one of those experiences and the transition point came early in the show. Between songs, Taylor stopped and surveyed what the rain had done to her hair, her outfit, the stage and the crowd. She let out a laugh, started splashing around and just embraced it. The crowd went wild and from that moment on the rain made the night more memorable. We’d all be able to say ‘we were there’ when Taylor sang her heart out for hours in the pouring rain.
Taylor and her entourage turned in a stunning show that night. The set list was fantastic and the production value of the show was off the charts. Perhaps most impressively, Taylor and her team didn’t let the rain slow down their performance one bit. I’m serious. Check out this video we captured of water flying off of Taylor and the dancers as they kick their way through the end of “22”.
When the concert ended, we lingered in the stadium for a bit to snag some concert merchandise (shout out to WYWWer Heidi Roth and her family for helping Sabina ‘raid’ the merch table). When we eventually made our way through the Midnight Rain back to the train station, we took our seats in a nearly empty train and began the ride back to the Centro train station. Sitting across from us were four Brazilian twentysomethings. Although they were speaking Portuguese, we could tell they were as thrilled by the concert as we were.
About halfway through the ride, something awesome happened. Charlie asked Sabina for one of her Friendship Bracelets so he could offer it up to the twentysomethings. When he did, they smiled wide and flipped into fluent English to begin the fun process of deciding which bracelets they should swap. A wonderful conversation ensued among all of us. They explained that none of them were from Rio. In fact, they’d been friends for years, but their lives had scattered them to different corners of Brazil. They were using their shared love of Taylor Swift as a reason to reunite in Rio. In that span of maybe 10–15 minutes, we all laughed and smiled as we shared stories about our lives, careers and dreams. When our journey into the city concluded, we said the kind of goodbye you say to a stranger when you realize a chance encounter has produced a memorable meeting, but you know you’ll never see each other again.
When we finally got back to our Airbnb sometime after 2am, we were wet, exhausted and exhilarated — and excited at the thought of doing it all again the next day.
The Monday show
The Monday night show hit different.
Now that we were familiar with how we’d get to and from the stadium, Kate and I were able to put the logistical side of our brains at ease and just relax. Most importantly, the weather was dry and the temperature was around 75 degrees … perfect!
As much as we’d enjoyed the train ride to Sunday’s show, we’d made a verbal agreement with Marcelo to hire him again as our driver for Monday’s show. He picked us up and once again drove us to his home, where we got to say hello to his wife and children.
This time we actually completed the 10-minute walk from Marcelo’s home to the stadium, during which we made a surreal discovery. Seeing Sabina’s scar on her leg, Marcelo asked me in half Portuguese-half charades if she’d suffered a bad broken leg. When I explained that it was cancer and used the word ‘Osteosarcoma,’ Marcelo froze in his tracks. He then explained that he’d also had a sarcoma, except his was in his shoulder. Marcelo’s tumor had been removed and he’d been in remission for two years. This revelation enhanced the already strong connection we’d made with Marcelo. He and Sabina were partners. That walk to the stadium wasn’t the only path they’d both walked.
The line to get into the stadium was the same mess it had been the night before, but since we’d ‘been there, done that,’ we weren’t as uncomfortable as we’d been 24 hours earlier.
The walk down the ramp onto the field was just as awesome the second time. Like a rehearsal, the first concert showed us where Taylor would be on the stage during certain parts of the show, so we knew exactly where we wanted to stand. The four of us made our way to that spot, which was about 30 feet from the front portion of the massive T-shaped stage … and just soaked up more of the Swiftie vibe.
I’d loaned Charlie my old phone for this trip so he could use it as a camera. That meant we had four phones worth of photos and videos from the first concert. Knowing the rest of my clan would have their cameras going again during the second concert, I decided to leave mine in my pocket and just soak up the second concert with my own eyes and ears. I’m glad I did. The set list was virtually the same as the first concert (except the two ‘secret songs’), but I enjoyed the show much, much more. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t spend your time trying to capture every moment through a 5-inch screen. Duh.
Of course, one of the reasons we could enjoy the show is because we were so close to the stage. Much to my surprise, the front portion of the field section wasn’t crowded during either concert. The crowd that clamored to get close to the stage was only about 10 people deep. We spent some of the time right behind that pack of people, but Charlie couldn’t always see when we did that, so we would back up about 10–15 feet to where the crowd thinned out and he could see over the top of everyone. Think about that: We would back up to get a better view … and still be just 40 feet or so from the stage. It was bonkers.
When the concert ended, we lingered around the stage bidding farewell to new friends (more details about that in a minute) and I think this was when the four of us began looking at each other in amazement and asking, “Can you believe we did that?” “Can you believe we just saw Taylor Swift in Rio twice?”
When we eventually exited the stadium and made our way to the train station, the next train set to depart had plenty of room for passengers to stand, but all the seats were occupied. After 6 hours on our feet, I knew my family needed to sit for the journey back to the city center, so we decided to wait for the next train. Just as that next train eased into the station and opened its doors, we heard a holler from down the platform, “Look who it is! It’s our American friends!” It was the group of twentysomethings we’d befriended on the previous night’s train!
Talk about a ‘sliding doors’ kind of moment! 60,000 people exit a stadium on back-to-back nights. Tens of thousands of people board dozens of trains each night. What are the odds we’d end up on the same exact train as these wonderful people two nights in a row? Serendipity.
The ride into the city and the transition to the metro flew by far too quickly as we shared more stories about the concert, and perhaps more importantly, life. We eventually bid our new friends farewell, but this time I was not thinking we’d never see them again. Something tells me we will.
When we arrived back at our Airbnb (once again after 2am), the four of us looked at each other and again muttered, “Can you believe we just did that?!?!”
Concert moments that were about much more than the music
When I mash up two nights of concert memories consisting of more than 6 hours of Taylor’s music, there are two moments that will forever stand out in my mind and both occurred on the second night. One was so heart-warming that I still get goose bumps just thinking about it. The other was a powerful moment for the four of us … that ended up being shared with a MUCH larger audience.
The kindness of some die-hard Swifties
As we prepared for the second concert, Sabina spent part of the afternoon concocting a plan to try to get Taylor’s attention during the show. Because we’d attended the previous night’s concert, we knew there was a segment of the show when Taylor would be playing a piano at a specific spot near the edge of the stage. As that segment of the show approached, we wedged our way through the crowd to get as close to the stage as possible. Sabina had made a special sign for Taylor that read: “You Helped Me Through Chemo”
The people we were attempting to slide in front of had been in those spots for hours, so they had every reason to not let us pass by them. But when one or two of them read the sign Sabina was holding over her head, they translated it into Portuguese for everyone else and the crowd parted for us. I couldn’t believe it.
These amazing people didn’t just let us through. They also realized the crowd would look dark from Taylor’s vantage point and she might not be able to read Sabina’s sign. So what did they do? They whipped out their mobile phones and illuminated Sabina’s sign with their flashlights. Others screamed Taylor’s name and pointed to the sign. My family’s sneaky little mission to get Sabina’s heartfelt message to Taylor had now become a large group effort!
When Taylor finished her piano songs, she stood up and walked around the front of the piano to a spot where she was maybe 10–15 feet away from us. She looked into the crowd, saw the sign and then looked down into Sabina’s eyes and smiled. Sabina melted.
When I conceived of this trip to fulfill my promise to Sabina, I never imagined she’d get a chance to connect with Taylor in such a way. My eyes get moist thinking about that moment because those Swifties in front of us didn’t have to get out of the way for Sabina and her sign, nor did they have to help get Taylor’s attention … but they did. This Swiftie Dad is forever grateful to them.
“All Too Well” made my family go a little bit viral
If you’ve read my essay that explains why we went on this adventure, you understand why the song “All Too Well” has a special meaning for my family.
And if you’ve read that essay, you’ll understand why I didn’t mind that it was pouring rain when Taylor started to play “All Too Well” during the first concert. When that song began, I wrapped my arms around my little girl and … well … let’s just say that for the next 10 minutes, the raindrops falling from the sky were the perfect camouflage for the teardrops that were streaming from our eyes.
Sabina and I never cried while we were making all those drives home from the hospital, but we cried our eyes out in that stadium.
The next night, when Taylor asked in her cheeky way if she could have “about 10 minutes” of the audience’s time to sing us a song, Sabina and I knew what was coming. This time, all four of us gathered in a family hug and held each other tight as we sang along with Taylor. We were just as emotional as the first night, but there was one big difference:
No rain = No camouflage.
And no camouflage meant everyone around us could see our tears.
This is when our family caught the eye of a young woman in front of us who was so inspired by the sight of the four of us that she decided to capture the moment on video. When “All Too Well” ended, she approached us with a smile and said something in Portuguese. When Sabina indicated that we didn’t speak Portuguese, the young woman flipped into fluent English and explained that she was asking our permission to share the video on social media. We agreed with a thumbs up and a smile.
Sabina and the young woman, Nathalia, immediately hit it off and started chatting about all things Taylor Swift. Just as Nathalia was about to post the video she’d captured of us, she asked why “All Too Well” made us cry so hard. It was a fair question. If you think about it, “All Too Well” is definitely an odd song to evoke tears from a family like ours. After all, it’s a breakup song.
Sabina decided to tell Nathalia why it meant so much to us. She told her how Taylor had inspired her throughout her cancer treatment and how “All Too Well” was our anthem for the drives home after chemo. With the lightning finger speed that only teenagers seem to possess, Nathalia made a quick edit to the video she had been about to share to insert text explaining who we were and how Taylor’s music had helped Sabina. She then hit ‘send’ and shared the video on Instagram … with her 1.2 million followers.
You see, what we didn’t know was that Nathalia was a famous Brazilian teen actress named Nathalia Costa.
Sabina has always wanted to become an actress, so she was thrilled to spend the next 15–20 minutes hanging out with someone who was living the Brazilian version of Sabina’s Hollywood dream. Nathalia had also tagged Sabina’s Instagram account in her post, so Sabina spent the rest of the night (and part of the next day) welcoming thousands of new followers to her IG account.
Apparently a few of Nathalia’s 1.2 million followers were also in the stadium because when the show ended and the house lights came on, a couple different teenagers stopped my family to ask if they could take pictures of us. That was a weird experience, but my kiddos loved it, so I didn’t care.
Right about now you’re probably wondering: What about the video? How can I see the video?
Here’s a short clip of the video Nathalia shared:
(Translation of Nathalia’s caption on the video: Saw the CUTE family and had to record it. Found out they came all the way from California for The Eras Tour and don’t even know ho to speak Portuguese. The girl is @sabby.mac17. It’s been a year since she beat cancer and she said Taylor helped give her the strength to get through it. Her mother said, “Chemo cured cancer, but Taylor saved her soul” Bring it on Taylor!)
Laugh all you want at my tears and awful singing, which (thankfully) is barely audible. I don’t care because there’s so much more going on in that video than a concert. Some pain is being released and some gratitude is being absorbed. I’m mixing more than two years of cancer parenthood spent hoping to avoid the worst of the worst … with five months of planning for a trip that was at that very moment — in real-time — becoming the best of the best.
Reality bites: ‘Maybe I asked for too much’
When my family returned to our Airbnb after the second concert, we were all so giddy from the Afterglow of everything we’d experienced during back-to-back nights of concerts that it took us a while to settle down and try to go to sleep.
Sabina eventually retired to her room, but I knew she wasn’t sleeping. 3am in Rio is 10pm in Portland, so she was texting highlights to all her friends back home and gleefully accepting ‘follows’ from all her new Brazilian friends on Instagram, courtesy of Nathalia Costa.
Kate was laying next to me, also texting with all of our friends and family back home.
I just stared at the ceiling, gobsmacked at what I’d managed to pull off. I’m ashamed to admit I was feeling pretty darn proud of myself — like I reached “Peak Dad” and might never be able to do anything for my family that could top what we’d just experienced.
Right about then is when Charlie wandered into our bedroom. He’d gone to bed at the same time as all of us, but he couldn’t sleep. He then explained why.
“I know “All Too Well” is a special song for our family, but I don’t know why.”
You see, we’d never told Charlie about those drives home from the hospital Sabina and I shared back when she was undergoing chemo. He was nine years old at the time and parents of cancer patients need to make choices about what they do and do not share with the siblings of the patient. In fact, before I wrote that essay about why my family was headed to Rio, precious few people knew about those drives and the significance of “All Too Well.” Thousands of people have now read that essay, but Charlie isn’t one of them. He’s just a kid.
Shamefully, “Peak Dad” tried to punt.
“Hey little buddy, just get some sleep and I will tell you in the morning,” I suggested.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep because I’ll just keep trying to figure it out,” Charlie replied.
Sooooo … sometime around 3:30am and after two nights that had left my family feeling on top of the world, I followed Charlie into his room and told him the whole story about “All Too Well.” I shared what I wrote in that essay about his sister singing because she was free from the shackles of an IV pole … free from the isolation of the hospital … free from the 24/7 reminders that she had cancer.
But I also shared things with Charlie I had withheld from that first essay. Sabina was singing because she was headed home … to be with her little brother … to be with her dog Tater Tot … to be reunited with the four of us, even if just for a day or two.
Charlie wept. Between sobs he asked, “Why did Sabina have to get cancer?”
We’d answered that question from Charlie back when Sabina was first diagnosed, but that doesn’t mean it ever made any sense in his young mind.
“This isn’t a type of cancer she could have avoided,” I explained. “This isn’t like smoking and lung cancer or sun exposure and skin cancer. There’s nothing we could have done.”
More tears.
“Why did this have to happen to our family?” Charlie cried.
“It was just bad luck,” I whispered.
More sobs.
“It’s not fair,” Charlie whimpered.
“You’re right, son. It’s not fair.”
I wrapped my arms around Charlie and for the first time since he was a baby, my son cried himself to sleep in my arms. It was heartbreaking.
I’d planned this trip to keep a promise to Sabina. Since her scan in September, the trip had also morphed into a conveniently timed distraction from cancer scanxiety. Thus far, the journey had been a smashing success. But as I watched Charlie sob himself to sleep, the real reason we’d made the trip pierced the armor of joy The Eras Tour had created for us.
Moments earlier, I’d been basking in the glow of having completed two days that were a fairy tale for my family. But as I held my sleeping son in my arms, all I could think about was how I’d give anything to not have the reason I’d had to bring my family to Rio to see Taylor Swift.
‘Long Live’ the Rio hack
Now that we’ve returned home, I’ve realized the ‘hack’ to the concert system I pulled off to keep a promise to my daughter has paid off in an unexpected way.
I’m sure my family would have had an amazing time if we’d somehow managed to attend one of The Eras Tour concerts in the US earlier this year, but all the US shows took place before we got the concerning results from Sabina’s cancer scan in September. There’s no way I could have known the significance of the concert dates when I bought the tickets back in June, but with the exception of a stop in Sao Paulo, Taylor’s shows in Rio were the closest on the calendar to December 12 — the date of Sabina’s follow-up cancer scan.
Why does that matter? Well, if the troubling nodule from Sabina’s September scan turns out to be nothing, then we are going to celebrate and the timing of Rio won’t matter at all. But if that nodule turns out to be something, my little girl will be going back to war with cancer. That’s when the recency of the Rio shows will become immensely valuable.
As I type these words, December 12 is just four days away … and Sabina is flying high. Our flight home from Rio landed two weeks ago, but Sabina’s feet still haven’t touched the ground. She still has the thrill of Rio coursing through her body. That’s important because one thing my family has learned is that when you are getting ready for combat against cancer, your head has to be in a good place. Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) is real.
The first time Sabina was in-treatment, Taylor Swift was there to inspire her through the tough times. If Sabina ends up needing to restart treatment in the coming weeks, Taylor will be there once again. But something else will also be there. Whenever she might need a mental boost, Sabina can now tap into the fountain of inspirational memories that are fresh in her mind about the most positive experience possible: A week in Rio with a legion of Swifties.
Note: The full background story on WHY we made this trip can be found here.
Update: Life changed pretty quickly after we returned from Rio. Here’s an update, which features a handful of Swifties in Seattle.
Sean McMahon is the Director of Content at SmartBrief. He is also the editor of the While You Were Working newsletter.
