Why I’m taking my family to Rio to see Taylor Swift
(Note: One week from today, my family is heading to Rio de Janeiro to see Taylor Swift in concert. Lots of people have asked me why we are making such an insane effort to see TSwift. The following is my attempt at an explanation.)
Dear Reader,
Why am I taking my family to Rio de Janeiro to see Taylor Swift?
Well, Long Story Short … When my daughter Sabina was 12 years old, she was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma (bone cancer) in her right leg. One day during her chemotherapy treatment, we were hanging out in her hospital room and she asked me, “Daddy, if Taylor Swift ever goes on tour, can we go to one of her concerts?”
When your child makes a request like that under circumstances like that, you say yes. You promise. And you keep that promise.
That’s the long story short.
The full story is much, much longer.
Fearless little girl
It is not an exaggeration to say Taylor Swift has helped power Sabina through her cancer journey:
The terror that accompanies the diagnosis…
Nine months of grueling in-patient chemotherapy…
The loss of her hair…
A brutal bone resection surgery that saw the bottom half of her femur and all of her knee replaced with titanium…
The post-resection lack of mobility…
Physical rehab that continues to this day…
The mental and emotional toll of all of it.
Sabina would check-in at the hospital on Mondays, stay until Friday or Saturday, come home … and then check back in the following Monday so her chemo treatments could Begin Again. It was a long slog.
Lots of cancer patients are isolated for medical reasons during their treatment. COVID protocols made Sabina’s isolation even worse because she was only allowed to have two visitors per week and only one visitor at a time. My wife and I alternated nights staying in the hospital with Sabina. The amazing hospital staff was by Sabina’s side shift after shift. But the only person who was with Sabina 24/7 was Taylor Swift.
“All Too Well”
I have countless memories of listening to Taylor Swift with Sabina at the hospital, but my most poignant memory was created by something that would happen in the minutes after Sabina and I would leave the hospital.
Sabina began her treatment in September of 2021. Taylor released her extended version of “All Too Well” in November 2021. That song became the soundtrack for our drive home from the hospital after Sabina was discharged at the end of each week. As we’d ease out of the hospital parking lot, Sabina would push ‘play’ and proceed to sing along for the entire 10 minutes of that song.
At the 4:25 mark in that song, Taylor takes her singing up a notch to a near scream (“And you call me up again, just to break me like a promise…”). Sabina would do the same. In fact, we created a tradition whereby when that part of the song approached, I’d keep one hand on the steering wheel and reach across to the passenger seat with my other hand to hold an imaginary microphone in front of Sabina. My little girl would sing those few lines of the song as loud as her battered body and chemo-ravaged lungs would let her. Taylor’s music gave Sabina that strength.
Sabina sang because she was homeward bound. She sang because she was unshackled from the chemo drip IV pole that was her uncomfortable accomplice during her in-patient care. She sang because she was free from a hospital and cocktail of drugs that often left her feeling very much like a ‘crumpled up piece of paper.’
Quite often, Sabina knew that freedom was really just a brief parole because she’d have to check back into the hospital within a couple of days. But week after exhausting week, Sabina sang because Taylor’s music helped her feel free and Clean … even if just for 48 fleeting hours.
Why Rio?
That day I promised Sabina she could go to a Taylor Swift concert was during the depths of the Omicron variant of COVID-19. It was unclear when — or if — big concert tours would ever return, so we had no inkling about what was to eventually become known as The Eras Tour. I just knew I had to give my kid with cancer something to look forward to — a light at the end of the oh-so-dark chemotherapy tunnel.
When the tour was eventually announced, our entire family was thrilled. You see, Sabina isn’t the only Swiftie in the family. My wife and I are fans and so is Sabina’s little brother Charlie. If the four of us are in the car together, odds are Taylor Swift is blaring from the radio.
Before the tour tickets went on sale, my wife and I did all the pre-registration we were supposed to do. But then… well… then Ticketmaster happened. We were shut out of the sale. The Ticketmaster debacle left millions of people raging mad. We weren’t mad, we were heartbroken.
When I saw how high ticket prices were climbing in the resale market, I quickly realized the promise I’d made to Sabina might be out of reach. Since long before Sabina was diagnosed, Taylor Swift’s music has provided the soundtrack for the relationship I have with my daughter, so I was determined to keep that promise.
I explored all options. I shamelessly asked friends and family if they had any connections to tickets. No luck. Seattle was the closest Eras Tour location to us, so I kept a constant eye on ticket prices in the Emerald City. I also scanned ticket prices in cities across the US and around the world, hoping that some combination of cheap ticket prices and minimal travel costs might materialize. No luck.
Then Taylor announced the South America leg of the tour. After the initial tickets went on sale in June, two additional shows were announced for Rio. I scanned the ticket prices and couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Tickets to the shows in Rio were actually affordable! (Even now, tickets for the Rio shows can be purchased for $15).
I did some travel research and quickly realized that the total cost of 4 floor tickets to the Rio show, airfare and a week at an Airbnb was cheaper than what it would cost to drive to Seattle, buy 4 nosebleed seats at the top of the stadium and stay one night in a hotel. Like … A LOT cheaper.
When I told my wife I was considering buying the Rio tickets, she thought I was crazy. I wasn’t crazy … I just had a promise to keep.
My wife and I kept the trip a secret from the kids for a couple of months. Just in case the kids overheard any talk about the planning, we deployed a code word when discussing the trip: Elephants.
When we finally revealed the surprise to Sabina and Charlie in late August, they both collapsed to the ground. Sabina cried tears of joy.
“Cruel Summer”
If This Was a Movie, then this is where the story would end. The little girl beats cancer and gets to see her idol in concert in an exotic location. Roll the credits.
But this isn’t a movie.
Since Sabina ‘rang the bell’ to signal the completion of her chemotherapy treatment, the next phase of her care has centered on surveillance scans every few months so we can be on the lookout in case the cancer returns. These scans are anxious affairs. “Scanxiety” is real and it is awful.
In September of this year, we went in for her two-year scan. This scan was particularly important because when it comes to Sabina’s type of cancer, if the cancer hasn’t returned within the first two years, the odds are strongly in the patient’s favor that the cancer won’t return at all.
“All clear” is the only result you want to receive from these scans. That was not the result we received.
Sabina’s September scan revealed a tiny nodule, roughly 3 millimeters in diameter. It is unclear what the nodule is. It might be some kind of temporary infection … or it might be metastatic cancer.
What is particularly excruciating is that the recommended course of action at this point is to do nothing. Nothing. We have to wait until Sabina’s next scan on December 12. If the nodule remains the same size or disappears, then we will know Sabina is all clear. If the nodule grows or multiplies, then it means the cancer has returned. Sabina’s prognosis at that point will not be good.
Between now and December 12, we are embracing PMA (positive mental attitude) and trying to enjoy life to the fullest. I mean, jeez … we’re zipping off to the Wonderland that is Rio to see a Taylor Swift show. We are very much aware that we are fortunate — extremely fortunate in an unfortunate situation.
The Moment I Knew
One of the things we have always appreciated about Sabina’s oncologist is that he is a no-nonsense kind of guy. He is data-driven and years of having heartbreaking conversations with pediatric cancer patients and their families has instilled in him a strong and steady poker face. He focuses on probabilities and treatment plans and he never, ever cracks.
As you can imagine, the meeting we had with him in September when he shared Sabina’s scan results with us was a difficult one. A long and difficult one.
As the meeting drew to a close, he advised us to remain positive and not obsess about the upcoming scan in December. True to form, he was being logical. After all, what that scan might reveal is beyond our control.
That’s when he asked, “Do you have anything fun planned between now and then?”
Sabina replied, “Actually, yes. We are going to Rio to see Taylor Swift!”
“Oh, that’s great,” the doctor said nonchalantly. Then he paused, did a double-take and practically shouted, “Wait … that’s REALLY great!”
He’d cracked. Sabina’s poker-faced oncologist allowed joy to burst into a consultation room that usually sees precious little of it.
“That’s amazing!” he continued.
Sabina said, “I know, right!” … and then she giggled.
She giggled.
Sabina had just been informed that the cancer she thought she’d slayed might be back, but her excitement about seeing Taylor Swift caused my little girl to let out an uncontrolled giggle.
I never could have known it when I bought the tickets, but that giggle has already made this entire adventure worth it.
That giggle — and all that it represents — is why I’m taking my family to Rio to see Taylor Swift.
Update: If you want to hear how the trip went, here is a recap.
Another update: Life changed pretty quickly after we returned from Rio. Here’s an update, which features a handful of Swifties in Seattle.
Sean McMahon is the Director of Content at SmartBrief. He is also the editor of the While You Were Working newsletter.
