All In
Dad never let me sit around for too long. After I had my tonsils out in 2004, I was down and out for awhile. I felt miserable. I mean, I’m hardly a drama queen, but definitely was then :) Day-after-day, I’d lay on Mom and Dad’s couch, crying and in pain.
Listen, it really was painful because I didn’t have much pain medication. They gave me Oxycodone which was far too powerful for someone my size and not eating anything due to pain.
So there I sat. I probably would have extended my stay on the couch feeling sorry for myself had it not been for Dad. He came home from work one day and told me to get up. I didn’t want to. In fact, I cried when he forced me. He said, “We’re going on a little walk.” He walked me down the driveway and around for a short amount of time.
And after the tears and frustration, I actually started feeling better. The air and movement that Dad forced upon me was exactly what I needed.
After that, I went all in and healed just fine (I mean, mostly).
All In
Since Dad’s passing, I’ve felt the need to move in directions that have been calling me….to go all in.
Maybe it’s because I realize we don’t have forever, or maybe it’s just because Dad continues giving me this push, even when I’m hesitant.
I feel like this happens for (not to) anyone who goes through a major loss.
Kind of a blessing that can accompany me on these days that are still so hard.
Anyways, I wanted that tattoo, so I went all in. No regrets.
After the tattoo, little-by-little things started happening; signs began appearing.
It was time to go all in on something I’ve waited years to go all in on.
So here is all in….
In just under a week I’ll be full-time A Gutsy Girl. You can read about it HERE. And in 2020, A Thyme for Milk and Honey will move to its permanent home on athymeformilkandhoney.com.
I’ve dreamed about these things — writing, sharing, producing — for years. Literally, probably since I was first published in The National Anthology of Poetry for Young Americans in high school. (BTW — Mom and Dad were so proud of that.)
And I worked super hard to get here. A Gutsy Girl is 10+ years in the making.
During my time deciding if I truly wanted to go all in on this, I thought about the couch scenario and my dad.
I could choose to sit on the couch and wait for something to happen or I could get up and make something happen.
Thanks Dad for helping me choose the all-in route.
