Roman Numerals Three Eleven

When I shared my ten year wedding anniversary post I stated,

Most days I can’t make the decision to stay with a single task for more than 30 minutes. I’ve never gotten a tattoo because it feels far too permanent.

Over the years, I’ve correlated many things to the permanency of a tattoo — far too permanent, definitely not for me. Nope. No way, no how.

But during this past year, I started thinking that maybe I wanted to get one. “However,” I told myself time-and-time again, “only when something becomes very clear — when it has a meaning that would be just as permanent.” (Ryan — bet you’re glad I didn’t get an owl when I was going through that phase?! :) )

I literally never even thought that it could possibly have anything to do with my life’s guiding light — what I live, breathe, and will die by….

Everything is beautiful in its time.

It has all been laid out, long before now. You can read more via A Thyme for Milk and Honey (the intro to this website), or about the significance of thyme, milk, and honey HERE..

Honestly, how could I have not seen something that was there all along?

I’ll tell you why — because like every other thing in life, I believe there is a time for everything. The time was not then. But the time came when my dad passed.

The Back Story

I’m 36, and I’m lucky because planning my dad’s funeral was the first funeral I’ve had to truly plan. In fact, when we were at the funeral home, I didn’t even know a fraction of the Christian verses that could be chosen from (aka popular ones) to be read at funerals.

The funeral director sat there and waited while Mom, JJ, and I looked over different verses to choose from for different readings.

And there it was — a reading that was popular for funerals — Ecclesiastes 3:11 (actually 3:1–12).

Now listen, you might know that that’s common for a funeral; I promise with every last ounce of my being that I did not. In fact, I’ve never correlated my life’s guiding light with death; instead, renewals, life, and inspiration.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw it. I immediately spoke up and told Mom and JJ that they could pick anything else out that they wanted, but I had to have that part of Ecclesiastes.

The day of Dad’s funeral (1 month, 1 day ago) my best friend (and cousin), Kim, read it at the service.

Afterwards, when family and friends came out to Mom and Dad’s house, my Godchild Carmen drew this on my right wrist.

I fell in love instantly.

Two Nights Ago

Despite choosing the way the tattoo would look, font used, and setting the appointment — all last Saturday, I was still nervous.

I couldn’t pinpoint why, until I knew exactly why.

Two nights ago, I had a dream. When I woke up, I was overjoyed — Dad was in my dream. And he showed up in a way that made me realize the exact reason I was so scared and nervous.

But in those moments upon waking up, I felt no fear any longer. Immediately, I wrote the dream down in my book where all these little side stories are being recorded.

Here’s my MEGA-DREAM → I’m going to write a book, and it will be called, “A Thyme for Milk and Honey.”

This dream and story will be in the book.

Ugh. All the tears and all the joy bottled up, set aside.

Roman Numerals Three Eleven

And here we are today.

It’s been one month and one day since we laid Dad to rest. And it’s been a lifetime of struggling for the answers to why permanency scares me so much.

Chris at Cactus Tattoo in Mankato made my vision of roman numerals three eleven come alive.

Ironically, I was going to get this tattoo while in Sedona, Arizona recently. While there, I ran into a tattoo artist. He had worked at Cactus for quite some time, and I told him how I desperately wanted this tattoo in Sedona. All of this, to which he replied,

No. It’s not meant to be done here. Let the meaning of the tattoo you’re getting direct you for the rest of your life. “Everything is beautiful in its time.”

And maybe I wasn’t supposed to get it until now because I hadn’t had the dream yet.

I don’t know.

It’s all still a bit much and fresh in my mind.

Regardless, roman numerals three eleven now has a permanent place on my right wrist. When I look down, all I see is III:XI. And all I feel is peace, grace, forgiveness, comfort, strength, and the reminder that everything is beautiful in its time.

I also see dad’s sweet smile giving me a slight wink.

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Xox, SKH