The Balloon
The Dream of Love
My mother says that I started walking assisted by a balloon. How endearing that is. It was all in my mind, of course. I held that balloon as one holds on to hope when older. While in despair, only that thin chord of light upholds you. Back then, it worked, though. And I do have a photo of me holding a balloon a couple of years later. The look was innocent, gleaming, gentle, sweet as a morning, like a magical mist, as potential, as awe.
Ja, how blissfully unaware I was.
I am writing about this because I cannot focus on anything more structured. A flood of what was previously frozen is inundating with impotence my every cell. My emotions are overwhelming, leaving me on the brink of numbness; all energy is gone, and not even my obsessive thinking has fuel to run in. The silence grows louder, and I die evermore while conscious that the thin chord of hope is flickering.
Now I can only be aware of my own pain, no one else’s, just mine, the one that belongs to me, and only me, the one I inflict upon myself. Consuming is the agony and the passion burning within.
I am positive this is a rite of passage, an initiation, one that comes at the very end so that everything becomes illuminated and bright, so that one becomes complete unto oneself. That is the promise. Although, I have to say: ouch. And I must ask, is it necessary for someone else to get hurt?
Services indeed, the ones we give others, the ones they give us. Love, always love, what a wasted word. Unrequited, forbidden, impossible, unaccepted, undeserving love. Excruciatingly hurtful.
But I bumped into the love that exists beyond; I dreamt of it, being within it, embraced by it. It was on May 27, 2022. I floated in a gentle, warm, cozy blue light of plain, pure love and nothing more. No hope, no future, no others, no fear, no lack, no nothing, only love; that unconditional, my forever love. The space of us that followed me into the day. That is how it ultimately feels.
But then you wait, patiently observe, without interfering, without forcing — without agenda. You know. Not only you can’t, but you also wouldn’t. Far too sacred, far too clean. How appropriate to be forced to lie low: it allows the tides and waves within me to ease, the dust to settle, the wound to heal. For heal, it will.
Never before considered my existence as divinely guided, not by anything else but me. But now, I am astounded by what I sense lies beyond my imagination and is not in my control; it feels finely calibrated, elegantly tuned, and delicately assisted.
But no, it does not necessarily work out. It depends on the choices we humans make, on the willingness to bridge the gaps, and particularly, on the clarity we gain, the one that we allow. The light is painful; you need to dare see.
Whatever happens, this has already rendered many services; for one, I now walk as if complete, as I hadn’t walked in years, with a confident, beautiful pace. But interestingly, the ultimate service is not about us but about what we might offer by being together.
I am holding on to that balloon, yet again, hoping this is over, hoping this service was the last one I needed to receive, hoping this was the ultimate pain I needed to feel.
Ou, can he be a balloon, too?
I hope.
Aberdeem
Thank You
A special thank you note to all those who have kindly supported me in this endeavor; it is invaluable!
Clap
Did you know you can offer as many as 50 applauses for each story? I didn’t.
The Invitation
If you have any related experiences in dreams, please share; they will enrich us all. Otherwise, join, follow, share and if you feel like it, support. Sponsors or investors for The Book of Dreams are very much welcome or you can Buy Me a Coffee.
Background
If you want to know what this blog is about, you may want to read the following post:
If you want to know how the dreaming experience unfolded for me, you may want to read the following post:
If you care to learn about A Thousand Dreams’ origin and destiny, The Launch is the post. The idea came to me two years after I began writing and took shape and gained notoriety really quickly thanks to Adamus Saint-Germain and the Crimson Circle.
And if you want to have fun, take the quiz:
Other than that, in this blog you will find posts about many types of dreams and their relationship to our physical reality. Hope you enjoy them!
Reach Out
Contact me at aberdeem144@gmail.com. I will be happy to hear from you.
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