Midas & the Spell
The Making of a Wanderer Part 3
Me Midas
Before leaving for El Camino de Santiago in 2004, I was about to buy an apartment for myself in cash. I had enough money to live in the same way for five more years. Back then, I was frugal, and I was also Midas.
I felt hurt with parting ways with that corporate job, but I didn’t mind at all taking a break or starting all over again — it wouldn’t be the first time anyway, every few years, I somehow managed to make a pause. Looking back, I see that I was looking for something.
In any case, throughout all of my working history, every time I changed jobs, I doubled my salary, and I was confident that I would reposition myself soon enough, at even more high-profile strategic arenas.
What was I thinking? Have I listened to that voice carefully? “We didn’t come to this.” The whole point was to leave that corporate world for good! But back then, I could not grasp the enormity of its meaning.
A Bit of a Background
I received a good education, but my family was not wealthy. The situation got complicated after some unfortunate decisions regarding my mother’s inheritance in my early childhood, and singularly when my father had a breakdown that disabled him for years when I was 17 years old.
If you consider the long periods that I did not live at my parents’ at ages 14 and 15, and the years that I later spent working to be able to pay for my professional degree, and two masters’ degrees, I have really had my fair share of lack and financial challenges.
But never in those years did I produce debt. It was as if the concept was not in the set of my possible choices at any given moment. I did what was necessary, when necessary: sold chocolate cookies at school, organized and advertised garage sales with stuff I got from friends, sold liquors to my colleagues at work, crossed the city on my bike to get to my bachelor’s classes — couldn’t afford to pay a bus, won scholarships, borrowed books or the new gadgets to be able to do my homework, or simply made it without some stuff.
Well, yes, there were some brutal moments. I particularly remember those when I was hungry, but it is fair to say that I was busy living my incredible life.
The Adventure of my Life
Doing all that stuff was just another adventure to be able to go on all the other adventures that I had going on in my life. For the longest time, I went from one adventure to the next, several times a day. Playing the guitar, playing the flute, being part of different music groups, participating in music contests, performing live, having incredible friends, sports, tournaments, theater, studying; hugs abounded everywhere I went. I loved it, loved my life; excitement ran through my body regularly.
Countless times, when my head hit the pillow, I wholeheartedly wished that every day had at least eight more hours. I went to bed only because it was physically impossible for me to continue.
When playing the flute live for a theater play in my teens, I remember saying to a friend, “I feel truly happy.” My friend said, “I don’t think many people in the world ever get to feel like that.” I can see that now. I was not conventional in any way; unlike most of my friends, I was blessed with the liberty to experience all of that, my parents trusted me.
That was the feeling that later I yearned.
The Transition
The feeling changed after my father collapsed in 1987; that event completed the transition into early adulthood, which had started long before. Having formal jobs and studying at the same time forced me to back out on music and sports. As much as I loved it, the many years under that exceptional studying/working stress took their toll– a whole different story, but up until 2004, I continued to be Midas.
Everything I did, worked. Be it to earn money or to experience whatever I wanted to; as if I instinctively knew how much effort something would need to get done. And I was rather lucky too. I have a dozen synchronic, hard to believe, magical stories. From an early age, no one would worry about me, because they knew I would find a way to make things work for me.
And something as important: everything that I said I was going to do, I did, I achieved, I concluded. I had an inner sense of personal integrity, professionalism, healthiness, probity, cleanliness.
Well, not after El Camino, not after leaving the corporate world.
The Spell
As if a spell had fallen over me, from that point on, nothing worked. As if the Midas I was had suddenly turned into the dark side, I began losing it all. My word became good for nothing because I became physically unable to function properly and deliver as promised.
The Dark Night of the Soul fell upon me full-fledged.
To my absolute amazement, a couple of days ago, already writing this piece, I bumped into a recording of Robert Theiss channeling Yeshua¹. In referring to this exact subject, he called it not a spell but a hidden curse. He experienced it too. I could not be more astounded.
Past lives, jeez…
Loads of traumatic experiences related to money — as is the case for every human being, needed to be integrated. The subject is so intricate that it deserves a post of its own. And of course, back then, I simply didn’t get it.
Consider this dream of July 7, 2012, eight years after my collapse began, three after I almost checked out of the planet.
A figurine on a shelf was calling my attention with both hands. I turned to my friend Pilar and asked her to take a look because I didn’t understand her language. Pilar translated: “Oh, yes, she is trying to tell you that once you were asked to keep your capital winnings in the bank to avoid a crisis, but you decided not to consent.” The image was a mighty and elegant building at night illuminated with yellow light all over. It reminded me of the 1929 depression.
As documented in my journal, in real-life I talked to my friend Pilar that same day, and she confirmed it, “Oh, of course, you committed suicide in the 1929 crisis”, as if she had known for a long time and had merely forgotten to tell me about it. When I googled it, I recognized the building as the New York Stock Exchange.
I will quickly sidetrack to say that the figurine was part of an exercise in Keahak I², a consciousness one-year program that started in 2011 to “go beyond the mind.”
The exercise was breathing life into a figurine made out of organic material, be it wood or clay. The dream was the only confirmation I ever had on the success of my efforts because the one, in the dream, was MY figurine, a Lladró damsel. Makes sense that I received the confirmation in dreams as it seems to be my language.
In any case, MY lifetime — me, when dreaming of this, back in 2012, was very well aware that it didn’t matter that this man — who I felt honorable and caring, would have left his money in the bank. The 1929 crisis would have happened anyway; it was beyond his decisions and beyond whatever amount of money he might have had: it was the product of a choice of the collective consciousness.
Nevertheless, it wasn’t enough that MY lifetime — me, was aware that there need not be any karma, the guilt wasn’t completely cleared out until 2020. As far as I can explain at the moment, one of the reasons is that my humanity was making a judgment: it was irrelevant if there was any intentional wrongdoing. The ultimate reason is that it was not for me, the human, to clear it out; it was the “job” of my soul; jeez!
Integrating the Integration
And in allowing all to clear out — let alone in understanding what allowing means, it becomes a problem, MY lifetime’s problem. Sure enough, after clearing it all out, like having bleached it all out — the last integrations begin, namely the integrations of the many losses one endures by walking the integration path, by being the integrator — what a conundrum.
After El Camino, no amount of effort would do; nothing I undertook visibly succeeded in keeping me financially stable. Looking back on those years, maybe it would have been better to do nothing, to find a volunteer position in the Chiapas mountains, where I would have had food and shelter, and waited for consciousness to grow in me. That was quicksand: the more I tried, the deeper I sank.
Unfortunately, that is not the way it works. You must be in life, living your life, to be able to recognize what needs integration. At times, you relive past physical traumas all over again. In every case, you need to transmute everything through your body.
If this integration wasn’t complicated enough, for the longest time I wasn’t sure if my breaking down had started because I had heard that voice, and parted ways from the corporate world or because, only a few days after coming back to Mexico from El Camino, I encountered one of my soul’s biggest karmas in the form of an attractive, classy, charming, entitled, manipulative, and depressive man: a narcissist.
What I am absolutely clear about is the fact that, if I hadn’t agreed to go with the voice’s command, this encounter would have never happened. He had always been close to me — I am talking about physical proximity, at a walking distance from my parents’ place, but he didn’t show up in my life until my journey began. This relationship needed closure.
Two years later, I was swimming in debt.
To be continued.
Aberdeem
Proofreading: Norma Ojeda / Colombia
Thank You
A special thank you note to all those who have kindly supported me in this endeavor; it is invaluable!
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The Invitation
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Background
If you want to know what this blog is about, you may want to read the following post:
If you want to know how the dreaming experience unfolded for me, you may want to read the following post:
If you care to learn about A Thousand Dreams’ origin and destiny, The Launch is the post. The idea came to me two years after I began writing and took shape and gained notoriety really quickly thanks to Adamus Saint-Germain and the Crimson Circle.
And if you want to have fun, take the quiz:
Other than that, in this blog you will find posts about many types of dreams and their relationship to our physical reality. Hope you enjoy them!
Reach Out
Contact me at aberdeem144@gmail.com. I will be happy to hear from you.
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References
¹ The channel of Yeshua by Robert Theiss is from September 2, 2016, and is called Spinning your Resistance. If you want to take a look, here is the link.
² Keahak is still running, if you are interested, click here.
