The Making of a Wanderer Part 5
An Angel
By now, I have easily watched up to a hundred videos on the topic of narcissistic abuse, and I estimate I could continue doing so for a few more months without ever repeating any information.
I am fascinated by the more clinical approach that seems to have no end to its depth. Unfolding the material and relating it to what I experienced and know is reaching a pinnacle too.
But while still being fully ignorant of the clinical definitions, one of the very first videos I watched on YouTube was the 2019 Narcissistic Abuse Documentary.[1]
One of the testimonies is that of a man who looks nothing short of angelical. The three victims showcased feel particularly clean, pure. But in his case, one can almost see the wings shining out of his aura. His “acquaintance” left an indelible impression on me.
After all these years, I still held this kind of resentment, guilt, or shame about the whole experience being my fault, or not having been able to handle it better, avoid it even.
Not two months ago, on February 1, of this year of 2021, through Virgilia Aguirre, and in the presence of Isis and Metatron, my soul thanked me for having taken it on. It was also a reference to some other things that were excruciatingly painful and deserve their own story. As if previous lifetimes had been unwilling or incapable of looking at them in the face.
My answer had a dose of bitterness, but this message and seeing that victim-angel sure provided a balm to my heart and opened it to a whole new understanding of reality.
Deserving Each Other
After going through the classical stages of a relationship with a narcissist, close to the end, the documentary briefly addresses the childhood of a victim. One would think that anyone entering a relationship with a narcissist or any other type of abuser must have had a terrible childhood or is filled with its own damage thus they deserve each other. But this view is utterly simplistic.
Of course, they deserve each other in a way that I could not have anticipated and is blowing up my mind. Apart from his shiny presence, this man’s testimony left me spinning.
“I come from a loving family. I got everything that I ever wanted, all that stuff, but I am just completely naïve. I grew up in an environment which was very safe, [sic] when somebody tells me something, I believe him, I trust everybody, I trust everything all the time. So, I guess, if somebody sees a person like me, I am an easy prey because you could tell me anything, and I would believe you.”
Interestingly, the word narcissist has negative connotations, and the word empath has positive connotations. And as I deepen my understanding of these matters, this feels right on target to me. As if we were talking about light and dark here, about sinful and innocent, about goodness and evil.
The Virtuous Empath
Essentially, an empath is someone born with a rather porous and open energetic system that picks up everything in their environment. They not only have empathy or understanding for others but literally feel the feelings of others. They have a hyper-activated attachment system: the hardwired neuro-biological system designed for us to make bonds, feel warmth and intimacy with other people.
Trying to synthesize my findings, an empath intuitively picks up the perceptions of other people, is particularly sensitive, has a true passion to be helpful, is deeply moved by beauty, is drawn to spiritual themes, wonders how to make a difference in the world, is very available to the underdog, is an idealist, is highly agreeable, selfless, and is always the first one to take responsibility for their feelings and behaviors. I will add that this entails an unwavering commitment, loyalty, and solidarity.
What could be wrong with that? Honestly! Isn’t this kind of a bible for all the new agers? Isn’t this the code that all religions lead you to follow? Wouldn’t this make a paradise on Earth?
Well, obviously not.
The Evil Narcissist
On the other hand, “The core passion that underpins narcissism is envy, and envy is a very primitive emotion; it is actually an early form of hatred. It is an excruciating experience of inner lack, in comparison to what someone else possesses, what someone else has, someone else’s attributes, and a desire to have what that other person possesses but not in a way of aspiring to acquire, but in a way of taking it away from them, destroying them in a way.
So envy becomes for the narcissist this compulsive need to destroy all that which is good, all that which is beautiful, all that which has any hint or semblance of superiority to them.”[2]
The Dynamics
Dr. Abdul Saad explains it beautifully:
“So, the empath, being the quintessential giver, someone who is exquisitely attuned to detecting the energy needs of others, is a lot more vulnerable to becoming prey for the narcissist, with these vastly open energetic fields, that are highly porous, with an attachment system that is so easily activated.”
On the other hand, “The narcissist thrives on the energy of others to deal with their own internal emptiness and chronic boredom, and for many narcissists upsetting people, manipulating people, hurting people is actually a way in which sometimes, very subtly, they rob people of their energy.”[3]
Whereas the empath by nature gives, the narcissist by nature takes, snatches, steals. But as I said, it is not that simple. Indeed, this is the dynamic between light and dark. And it is far more essential; it is compelling, fascinating, a mesmerizing dance between opposites that attract each other, and it is multidimensional!
Other-Wordly Friends & Foes
It was on October 19, 2011, when in my dreams, I saw the ethereal manifestation of the company I had financed and built alongside this man, way after it had collapsed in the physical reality — which happened incredibly quickly, I might add. In fact, I must have been connecting to the past.
“I found our creation on the ethereal realms… WOW. Elegant, fascinating, classy, vast. It was one floor of what appeared to be an office building, but that was no ordinary office building; it was almost like an antique, like being a very wealthy family house. Every adornment, every flower container, every tile was of such taste and class.
It resembled the Alhambra in Granada, Spain, full of finely crafted ditches carrying water throughout the elegant floors and having a big fountain in the middle of it all. In all, the place was full of elegantly contained water.
And in these other realms, a lot of people were taking advantage of what we had created. The narcissist was doped, almost unconscious, as he was chatting with a dark entity.
It was a decision, an impulse, to claim my property back. As Jesus in the Temple, I just got so angry that started slashing people away, with violence, while asserting how much money I had put into it.”
More than friends, I believe that his aura might have been so broken that he was full of entities feeding off of him, who in turn was feeding off of me. I suppose this is how it works most of the time.
The Mirror
Back in 2004, I also had a ton of other-worldly allies; I just didn’t know.
In real life, during an individual healing session, my Reiki teacher was shown the image of a mirror. All the spiritual advancement I thought this abusive man had at the time, was my own.
Fortunately, this abusive scheme can and must be transcended. I am thinking of making a book entitled “The Wanderer’s Guide to Blend with Evilness in an Otherwise Beautiful World,” because the people in genuine consciousness paths know that darkness needs integration within every one of us.
You can be as unbalanced towards the dark as you can be towards the light, you see. And I am thrilled to have found the exact reference!
“Positively oriented beings — those seeking to serve others — who have not embraced their dark side are as out of balance as their negative counterparts, who delight in dominating others while disdaining the Oneness of all Creation.[4]”
It is especially relevant because this is what happens to lots of people in the spiritual and new age worlds, who are always striving to be “better,” to purify themselves, to achieve some kind of perfection that is simply unattainable. After all, it is not the nature of the human experience.
Perfection is achieved by acknowledging perfection, which of course, is a paradox. And as I now begin to fathom, the integration of light and dark is the ultimate lesson of this incredibly dual dynamics between narcissists and empaths, although not the only one. This encounter seems to have been full of purpose on every possible level.
And still, this is far too simplistic. How fascinating.
To be continued.
Aberdeem
Proofreading: Norma Ojeda / Colombia
Thank You
A special thank you note to all those who have kindly supported me in this endeavor; it is invaluable!
Clap
Did you know you can offer as many as 50 applauses for each story? I didn’t.
The Invitation
If you have any related experiences in dreams, please share; they will enrich us all. Otherwise, join, follow, share and if you feel like it, support. Sponsors or investors for The Book of Dreams are very much welcome or you can Buy Me a Coffee.
Background
If you want to know what this blog is about, you may want to read the following post:
If you want to know how the dreaming experience unfolded for me, you may want to read the following post:
If you care to learn about A Thousand Dreams’ origin and destiny, The Launch is the post. The idea came to me two years after I began writing and took shape and gained notoriety really quickly thanks to Adamus Saint-Germain and the Crimson Circle.
And if you want to have fun, take the quiz:
Other than that, in this blog you will find posts about many types of dreams and their relationship to our physical reality. Hope you enjoy them!
Reach Out
Contact me at aberdeem144@gmail.com. I will be happy to hear from you.
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References
[1]2019 Narcissistic Abuse Documentary; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfE-u2NzyQw
[2]Dr. Abdul Saad; Vital Mind Psychology, Sidney, Australia; The Emotion at the Heart of Narcissism; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRvI_dhjsaY
[3]Dr. Abdul Saad; Vital Mind Psychology, Sidney, Australia; Why the Empath Falls for the Narcissist: The Attachment and Energy Exchange System; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKn_yvtE480&t=661s
[4]Jean-Claude Gerard Koven. Going Deeper: How to Make Sense of Your Life When Your Life Makes No Sense (p. 251). Prism House Press. Edición de Kindle.
